Over the decades, I have taken animals to the vet to be euthanized and never brought them home again, taken them to the vet for euthanasia and brought the body home again, and had them euthanized at home. Of those options, home euthanasia has been easiest for all concerned - the animal being euthanized and the surviving animal siblings. In my experience, animals - cats and dogs (and horses) - have an instinctive understanding and acceptance of death as long as they are given the opportunity to acknowledge it. The only time I have seen my animals experience angst and grief after the loss of an animal companion is when the companion simply "disappears", never to return home again. But as long as the survivors have the opportunity to acknowledge the body after death, acceptance of the passing seems nearly automatic and involves little or no lingering anxiety or grief. For this reason, I now try to have euthanasias performed at home so that the animal who is passing can be as comfortable as possible, and the animal survivors know exactly what has happened. If the survivors choose to remain in the room during the procedure, they have that option. If they choose to go elsewhere, they may do that. The euthanasia itself doesn't seem to upset them, though the vet's presence may. After euthanasia is completed, I lay the body on a dog bed in the livingroom overnight to give all of the other animals the opportunity to "view" the body before I take it to the crematorium the next day. If I must, for some reason, have the euthanasia performed at the vet clinic, I now always bring the body home for the overnight viewing so that the other animals can acknowledge the passing. It really does help them accept the absence of the passed animal without anxiety. If there is any way to avoid it, I will never again have an animal euthanized without giving the other animals the opportunity to view and acknowledge the body after death. I would not, however, take surviving animals to the vet clinic with me to witness a euthanasia. The trip to the vet would cause undue stress for the survivor(s). The viewing of the body should occur at home, not at the vet's clinic. Laurie

Well, Mom3, your SS's BM is the mother who lets the kids jump on furniture and turn over couches. --"She allows him to treat her and the things she buys him this way. If I say something... it'll be that his mom bought it, why does it matter?"-- Would explain his careless attitude, gonna get another one, so why care about this one. Kinda makes it hard on you to teach kid any different when BM underhands the lesson. My GS has had a bit more trouble at first taking care of cell than DD had at first. DD is a little perfectionist, GS is a 18 months younger than she is. I think the girl vs boy thing plays a bit in it also. Rule at his father's house is it must be charged on night table each evening and Ex DIL has same rule...I think that helps with both being consistant and reinforcing each other. It only took a couple weeks to get GS into the habit. GS has a slide on belt holder for his cell and when he wears pants with no belt he usually hands one of us his cell to carry for the day (depends on who has him that day). Ex DIL will text one of his adults if she's had any trouble reaching GS. DD carries hers in her purse (she's a girly girl) when we go out, and it sits on her vanity in her room when we're home. Neither child has any doubts the cells will be taken away and/or not replaced if we see any abuse of the privilege of owning one. Luckily with GS's mother, she feels the same. She has GS help save and pay for his items like DSi. He just got some new video game player (x box?) and I know he was telling me Mom took him and his half of the money. He was real pleased with himself. He earned his half by helping set up and clean up from Gpa's auction, putting in the veggie garden and shading and watering the plants until settled in. I think his Stepdad helped him earn some too by letting GS learn to ride the lawn tractor and pulling weeds (their yard is huge). GS tells me it's his weekly job now to help SF tend the lawn when GS is there on each weekend in the summer. GS's SF was hiring the yard work done but I guess ExDIL wanted to give GS the chance have chores and to take on a bit of responsibility.

I don't think this is warrants counseling. This is nothing more than two boys trying to figure out their place in the family. My two daughters, age 15 and 8 argued like this for a while, contradicting and trying to correct the other one. The way I stopped this was I let them know the pecking order - I'm the momma, and I'm always in charge. If I'm not around, D15 is in charge. D8, you are low man on the totem pole, your job is to listen to your big sister. D15, your job is to be a good big sister and look out for her, but if I'm here, you step back and let me handle things. And I backed this up. If I was going to the store, I left D15 in charge, and told D8 she had to listen to her sister. The only time I stepped in was if D15 was being mean to her sister. Other than that, D8 knew she had to do what her sister said. Of course, D8 didn't like at first that she had to do whatever her sister told her to, but once she accepted her role things went a lot smoother. And once I got D8 to respect her sister, D15 took her responsibility seriously and started looking out for her little sister. Once everyone knew where their position in the pack was, there wasn't any more arguing. Now if I could just get them to stop interrupting each other . . .

Not in my family. I have 4 brothers and 2 sisters and we were all close growing up. There is no animosity between any of us. LOL We are all in the same city and my one brother lives 2 streets away and my other brother owns the grocery store I shop at and I rarely see him and my sister lives within walking distance. I took care of all of my siblings children over the years, I am close to my younger brother Paul and he helps me out and I helped him out over the years. I am close to my oldest sister Marjorie and talk to her everyday but I couldn't live with her but I could live with my other older sister whom I don't see as much as I would like to. Lizzie took me everywhere with her when I was a little kid - she is 10 years older than me. Marjorie who is almost 18 years older was gone out of the house by the time I was born so I didn't really grow up with her. My brother Ray lives 2 streets over and we have never been close but I am close with his wife and my nieces. I can just pop into their house any time or I stop by to chat when I walk by the house. I get invited over for dinner now and then or he will bring me a plate of food if they cook something special. Not being close to my brother Donald bothers me the most I think. He is 9 years older. All those years I took care of my Mom only Paul was around to give me relief - or to take me on errands. The night my Mom was dying they all showed up except my sister Lizzie who was working in Saudi Arabia at the time to say goodbye. They weren't there for us when we needed them the most. I don't know why they didn't but not one of my siblings offered to help pay for my Mom's funeral costs. I had to take the cash value out on my life insurance to pay for cremation and urn costs. I decided then not to have a funeral because I couldn't shoulder that burden alone and pay for the wake afterwards. I just thought it was odd - she was their Mother too. I asked Donald why he stayed away so long and he said he should have supported me all those years. I asked him if he would be around more now that I would need my family more than ever and he said he would be there for me. That was the day after my Mom died and I haven't heard from him since - almost 6 years now. I have tried to call but his wife is really short on the telephone or they are out of town. I am going to try again to contact him and ask him why he bailed out on me. We shared beds, we ate dinner together everynight growing up, and we played together. They had their own families and we all drifted apart. Nobody stays in touch with anyone. I seem to be the one that it affects most. I make the effort to call my siblings or talk to them or check in on them. My Sister Marjorie can't be bothered because she says none of them call her. Paul sees our brother David at the store. Everyone asks me how everyone else is doing. LOL I think my Dad was the glue that held us all together as a family but he died in 1984. I miss my family. ...