marineguy, bhshaman, It sounds like you guys have it pretty well figured out. My wife and I are expecting our first! Maybe things will change once the baby arrives but the way it's looking now it's going to be a footrace though to see who gets to spend more time at home with our child. She's a busy vet and of course I'm a doc, both professions with type A personalities galore but I guess we both feel like some things are more important than money or professional prestige. I wouldn't care if someone were to call me a "househusband". People on their death bed never say "I wish I spent more time at work." Don't get me wrong, we're not exactly slackers but the organization I work for asked me to head up a new clinic. I really had to think twice before taking it on. As I said in a previous post, our newest vehicle is Jenn's '01 Camry. We can bicycle to work so we don't put on many miles. We live in an established neighborhood near the university in our town. Many of my colleagues have opted for swanky new houses. As far as I can see all it's done for them is smaller lots and more restrictive covenants. We're lucky 'cause we have 3 non-taxable retirement vehicles. One that is paid for entirely by my organization, one that is matching and one that isn't matched but is also pretax. I also have some money in a Canadian governmental hospital workers retirement fund that not only grows with interest (guaranteed a minimum of 10%) but is also indexed to inflation. (If you live in Canada it is very advantageous to be firmly attached to the gov't teat. My sister for instance who is an ICU nurse and clinical instructor has received 1 year of 70% pay for each of her maternity leaves.) Two of our vehicles were bought new, one used but we plan on driving them 'til the wheels fall off. I agree with marineguy that it's often not worth it to pay cash for a vehicle. All our vehicles are paid for but if I was in need I would just wait for one of the no interst for 5 yr specials and leave my money in some interest bearing investment.

The good: 1. Quite a few things can be grown here. Peonies, both herbaceous and trees, do well. Usually vegetables will do reasonably well also. Daylilies like it here. They are everywhere. 2. Cost of living here is not as horrendous as other areas, particularly coastal. 3. Usually rainfall is okay. The not so good: 1. tornado alley. It is the ones the weather people don't see coming that are the scarey ones. I was outside when the sirens went off only to see the thing trying to start the sustained spinning going over my driveway. 2. I think we have 6 or 7 seasons. The four usuals just repeat in random order depending on which way the wind is blowing. 3. Blackspot. very bad here; regular spraying needed. 4. Utility costs are high here. My gas and electric costs are sometimes higher than my house payment. 5. Soil quality is poor. Lots of soil amendments are needed. 6. Too many mosquitoes around my area. Mosquitoes make working in the yard a real challenge.

I feel for everyone involved and hope that it resolves peacefully soon. As far as who is right and who is wrong, I can't say. It's a complicated situation that is far beyond the surface facts. I don't think anyone is fully capable of judging the situation fairly because of the polarizing nature of it. This isn't just about this killing and whether it was justified or not. It goes far deeper than that. I don't condone violence but I also don't think it's right to just label the protesters as thugs with all of the associated implications. As a privileged, upper middle class white female, it's impossible for me to fully understand. I don't have an ancestral history of slavery and violent racism because of my skin color. I don't face discrimination, racial profiling and oppression on a daily basis. I have had ample educational opportunities and the resources to have whatever I wanted and needed. I have had positive role models and I still believe in the justice system because I haven't had a reason not to. But I don't pretend for one minute that I am not incredibly lucky to not be jaded by the system because it has always worked for me. It doesn't always work for everyone else. We all like to pretend that racism is over, but it's not. Not by a long shot. Even this forum thread has tiny bits of it woven through, though I am sure the posters would be shocked at being considered racist. That's how subtle and ingrained it is. And it's easy to say "well, I would never do that" or "I would raise my child right so he would never do something like that" when these multiple and prevalent injustices don't exist in your realm. It's really, really easy to judge when it's not you or your family. Facing centuries, decades, years, days of a different reality than the majority of the population will change your perspective.

Eons ago,and almost certainly here, someone introduced me to the Literature Map website. If you type in the name of an author you enjoy, the screen pops up with other authors who write in a similar vein. It hasn't been perfect for recommendations, but it has occasionally introduced me to a new-to-me author that I've loved. https://www.literature-map.com/ I just finished Ann Patchett's The Dutch House and it was terrific. She has a gift for writing family dynamics. The narrative hopped around in time quite a bit, but I felt that by doing so, she added layers to the story as each segment helped to bring the main characters' lives more clearly into focus. It was a really good book, and one that I'd meant to read quite some time ago.