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luv4pets

Smoking!

luv4pets
20 years ago

What is wrong with me? I am the type of person who can conquer just about anything, and I have in my thirty nine years been through a lot. I am not a drinker or a drug user and could never have been due to the fact that I like to remain in control of my life. But the catch is I have this addiction to the one drug that consumes me and that is nicotine.My life is so busy and I don't have much time to relax so I have taken the almighty cigarette as my friend and companion for the past 20 years.

I try not to think of this habit as my one last relaxation but never the less, every time I try to quit, I get resentful that I have to lose the only thing that makes me relax.

No matter what the health authorities say and how much I get shunned by all the non-smokers I still feel I have the right to have a puff.

How do I get by it and how do I retrain myself to think otherwise?

Desperately wanting to kick the habit. I hate how this habit consumes me.

Angela

Comments (20)

  • jenni_ca
    20 years ago

    I had a mother that died of smoking related heart disease...my dad died a horrible death from emphysema.
    Did I quit...NO!!
    I quit when the thought of being SO sick that someone would have to take care of me,
    feed me, dress me, clean me, became stronger than the urge to smoke.
    THAT is the only reason I quit. I still love the smell of a freshly lit cigarette, even after 12 years!
    I consider myself nothing more than a non smoking smoker.
    There are times I still want to smoke, that urge will hit me.
    But, I know I am only a puff away from a pack a day!!
    The mere thought of my husband or my children having to take care of me far outweighs the desire to smoke.

  • User
    20 years ago

    Angela -
    You know it's bad for you

    Ask your employer about smoke-stop clinics they may fund. It might take drugs, the patch, hypnosis and group therapy, but it's owrth it.

    And if you want relaxation, learn to meditate.

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  • MuscleCramp
    20 years ago

    I've been off for almost 3 years. I just decided one day that I was killing myself and realized I want to live a long, long time.

    Was hard, but it's worth it. I never think about it anymore. Just find something else to occupy your mind. Drink water, go for a walk.

  • lydia1959
    20 years ago

    Angela ~ I was just like you 5 years ago. I had been a pack+ a day smoker for 20 years. I decided to quit cause I was tired of the cigarettes controlling my life ~ I couldn't sit through an entire movie with out taking a smoke break, I was always sneaking away from family functions to have a cigarette and would sometimes turn down invitations to do things because I knew smoking wouldn't be allowed. I went to a hypnotist which helped me, but it was still the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I still enjoy the smell of a lit cigarette. I smoke in my dreams, but won't in "real" life cause I know I'd be sucked back into being a smoker.

    If you won't quit because of future health problems, look at how ugly people look when they smoke, think how bad your mouth tastes after a cigarette, think of the waste of money, listen to a smoker cough, consider how the habit is controlling you. There are LOTS of reasons to quit just pick one that makes YOU want to quit. Good luck!

  • junelynn
    20 years ago

    Hi Angela...it's taken me numerous attempts since 1999 to finally quit. I finally "crossed over" June 24, 2003. I'm 53 and I've smoked since I was 16. All the attempts taught me something about my ability to handle quitting...or not handling. Finally, it all came together. I was ready, I had my quit tools, and I knew it was not going to happen overnight.

    It takes WORK to become a former smoker. Go to the site
    WHYQUIT.com or the one below...they are affiliated. It's an addiction and once you get past those first 3 days and learn how to handle triggers, you can make it.

    I made a journal. Kept articles, sayings and things to keep me going. I documented how I felt. I still do.

    I still get cravings, but that means I'm NOT smoking! I've gained weight, but I've had to be forgiving on that too. I've told myself to try this for at least a year! If you can stay quit for 10 days, you are on the road to recovery. Cheat in those 10 days, you'll go back to smoking. THEN, make it to one month, 3 months...you will be on your way.

    You've got to be ready and the site below can help you!
    Good luck! Email me if you need someone to talk to about this!!

    June Lynn

    Here is a link that might be useful: Freedom from Tobacco

  • fixmyhairdo
    20 years ago

    My son-in-law uses Nicitrol NS. He hasn't smoked in over seven mts. I don't know how bad this inhaler is on him but his doc says he can use it for a year maybe longer. It is so expensive but so is all that goes along with smoking in the long run. Isn't it sad that the two most addictive substances can be bought almost anyplace.

  • aka_peggy
    20 years ago

    The 1st few days or weeks is easy for me. It's after going without for a month or two or three before I start to bite off my fingernails...which, paradoxically, I've always found disgusting.

    I know that if I don't quit I'll probably kill myself. Or at least I'll continue to experience mucus, coughing, dirty windows, windshields, curtains, clothes, etc. I'll continue to avoid others because, "I" feel uncomfortable with my habit. It seems like 'a friend?' and it becomes an escape. But it's a drug...worse than heroin.

    I don't do heroin but having been involved in my distant past with people with drug addictions, this is what I'm told. The urge for heroin eventually goes away, the urge for nicotine is forever.

    If I sound depressing, I apologize, but it is depressing. I envy people who have never smoked...or gave it up.

    Btw... did the hypnosis thing 2x. 1st time was a charm for 3 months. Then I was suddenly consumed again and hated myself for giving in. The 2nd time was a total bomb. Wierd too because this time I really believed that the hypnosis would work, if only for awhile. But I couldn't wait to get out for a smoke.


    Pretty sick, huh?

  • Millie_36
    19 years ago

    Sometimes I think that the anti-smoking campaigns can cause more trouble than good. I believe if I had not quit before all this started, I would have probably dug my heels in and been more determined than ever to do things my way. Anyone else have this reaction to being turned into a second class citizen? My husband quit several years before I did...he would constantly harrass me by putting my cigarette out if I laid it down...or call me Tobacco Rhoda....darn I hated that. ;O) When I finally had a reason good enough for ME TO DECIDE, that's when it worked. For me it was a son starting to smoke...I challenged him to a quitting duel. Also happened to be the year the Surgeon General made the announcement that a link to lung cancer (or was it heart disease) had been made.

    Even if all the anti-smoking meds, patches, hypnosis, etc. had been available then they would not have worked until I made up my mind. I "wanted" to be free of it long before I decided to do it. We are not all psycologically the same, so what works for one may not work for another. This is just my experience.

    By the way, the year was 1973, and no way am I sorry I got rid of the problem. Sure wasn't the cost. My husband was still in service and I could buy my big name brand for less than $3.00 per carton.

  • lindac
    19 years ago

    I smoked for more than 40 years!.....not proud of it....but the words.."Sorry it's malignant" did it for me!
    Think about it!! You can blame your stupidity and stubbornness on anything you want....but the bottom line is....just don't do it!!
    Linda C

  • joann23456
    19 years ago

    Luv4pets - Do you need to find other ways to relax? Is smoking really your only way?

    I don't know how to quit, as I never started. I lived with parents who both smoked two, sometimes more, packs a day. The ceilings were always yellow, the house smelled, my sister developed chronic bronchiitis, and my brother and I just couldn't stand it.

    I watched my father develop emphysema, then my mother die of lung cancer, then my father die of lung cancer. (And, as Jenni CA said, my sister and I nursed our parents, and it wasn't pretty.) I always blame cigarettes for taking my mother years before her time - her non-smoking relatives live to their mid-80's, whereas she died at 72.

    I don't pretend to understand how difficult it is to give up smoking, but I so hope you will keep on trying.

  • jamie_mt
    19 years ago

    No matter what the health authorities say and how much I get shunned by all the non-smokers I still feel I have the right to have a puff.

    Perhaps this is the key right here - from your perspective, quitting is equal to giving up your "right" to smoke. So somewhere in the back of your mind, it sounds like you're "rebelling" at the thought of giving up something you consider a "right" and a "freedom", even though *not* smoking is just as valid of a "right".

    I don't know how, but maybe what needs to happen is for your brain to realize that when/if you quit, the "right" to smoke will still be there...it's just a right you choose not to exercise anymore. Once that happens, and the fact that you are choosing the right *not* to smoke sinks in, you'll be ready to finally kick the habit.

    I can't sympathize...the only thing I've ever been addicted to is Coca Cola, which means I have no idea what you're going through, though as I watch my DH try to kick the chewing tobacco habit over and over and over I can guess how hard it must be. But I wish you luck, and kudos to you for having the strength to duke all the feelings out within yourself - it's hard being in that "inbetween" place where you can't quite figure out how to make everything work together in your brain (that I do know about). :-)

  • aka_peggy
    19 years ago

    I forgot about this thread till someone mentioned it on another forum.

    I QUIT!!!! 18 days ago, I quit after 35 yrs of smoking!! I was using patches but I started getting headaches and yesterday they made me sick as a dog. I called Habitrol and they told me to discontinue the patches.

    The patches made it soooo easy and now I'm bumming. I'll keep on tho because I have to do this. I have a new granddaughter and I want to live to see her grow up. My husband is my best friend and (as someone said) I can't bare the thought of he or my children taking care of me when I'm sick.

    I began to feel better within a few days. My sense of smell and taste returned within 5 days. Already I don't cough as much...and believe me, I was not a lightweight smoker. I can relate to everything the smokers/former smokers here have said. Avoiding functions/places/people becasue of this nasty habit.

    You really do have to be ready to quit. Make out a list of all the reasons you want to quit. Figure out how much it cost you moneywise and what you would spend that money on. Keep the list near by.

    I went to WHYQUIT.com and I'm using every other tool and crutch available. I can't imagine dying of lung cancer. It's a horrible, awful way to die.

    I'm only at the beginning of my own journey into shaking this addiction. Feel free to mail me if you need support. I will not EVER put other people down, or make anyone feel bad for smoking.

    Ps, I'll send anyone that wants them the 3-4 21mg patches that I have left if you want them, postage paid. Try them, it won't hurt. I think it will surprise you. I also have some Committ lozenges which I find disgusting. Want some? But I'll keep most of them as a yucky back-up.

  • aka_peggy
    19 years ago

    31 days and still going strong. Getting rid of lots of mucous. It's so gross!!

    It's been surprisingly easy thus far. I still have my fingernails! I know I still have a long way to go and I figure that once I get passed the 1 yr mark I'm home free.

    However I know that I will never smoke another cigarette no matter how badly I want it. It's just not worth it.

  • Jonesy
    19 years ago

    I read an article that said it was like trying to quit heroin and I believe it. I have seen my sis struggle with it.

  • aka_peggy
    19 years ago

    Yo Jonesy!!! I've read that too and I believe it. I'm dying for a cigarette right now but I know I can do this because I feel much worse when I'm smoking than I do after 3 months of not smoking.

    I quit Jan 1...I'm not counting the days as some people do. I know I'll never smoke again. I hate it, it's disgusting and it cost so much money, I'm ashamed to think about it. I stunk and I lost a few friends along the way because of it. Who wants to hang out with someone who smells like an ashtray. Myself included....

    Now I understand when people say; You have to WANT to quit.

  • pkock
    19 years ago

    I quit on Jan. 6, 2004. Yes, I'll probably always remember the day. :) I did not want to quit, and felt resentful at being forced to. But my husband had quit a few years before and was nagging me so badly I couldn't take any more.

    Deep down, though, I think it just really ticked me off that cigarettes controlled me. There was that feeling of sheer panic at possibly being stuck somewhere without them, and I would change plans to accommodate that need.

    I'd tried the patch, gum, lozenge, etc. and all that really did was to prolong the agony. So I'm a cold turkey quitter. I learned to take lots of very deep breaths to simulate cig puffs. I learned to eat lots of celery to simulate smokers' hand and mouth movements.

    Seriously - celery is crucial. I once sent my husband up to the grocery for celery, late one evening, just as I would've made a panicked cigarette run. If you don't like celery, choose another crunchy food you can dip. Apple wedges and peanut butter, maybe.

    Above all, here's what got me through: the realization that being a smoker involves withdrawal even without quit attempts. Think about it - you're always wanting one and satisfying that want. Or if you have to go somewhere you can't smoke, you're uncomfortable till you get one. Quitting just puts all that torture together into one big lump, after which it's gone.

    I still have to take deep breaths. I still have smoking dreams. And occasionally I still want to smoke. I almost broke down last summer after a job interview.

    But I can smell smoke on other people and it's horrible. I know I will never smoke again.

  • Islay_Corbel
    19 years ago

    I'm new here. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow for some Zyban. He says it helps a lot of people. I have smoked for years, I've tried so many times to stop but I WANT to stop. Have any of you tried this product?

  • goldy
    18 years ago

    You wake up one morning and say"this is stupid".you throw out all things related to smokeing.You get down on your knees and ask God for help.After 60years of snokeing it worked for me.Also a little help from my doctor.He Said"I was killing myself"'

  • deefar
    18 years ago

    I am 38 yrs. old and a smoker. I am not yet ready enough to quite. Both my parents were heavy smokers and quite with no problems. My grandfather was a was a smoker and lived to be 98 with no health problems. He died in his sleep. He smoked right up to the day he died. My best friends grandfather died of lung cancer and never smoked. Yes, us smokers are slowly sending ourselves to an early grave. I don't want my children taking care of me neither but it will probably happen reguardless. Unless you don't mind your life savings and retirement to be spent for a nursing home, our children will be our care-takers. I envy ppl who can quite and succeed with it. I have tried a few times with no luck. I just hope that one day soon I will wake up and the 'quite smoking ' bug had bitten me but good.

    Dawn

  • Marcia Thornley
    15 years ago

    I gave up smoking two years ago. I rarely think about it now. The most difficult but the best thing I ever did.
    Today my next door neighbour was diagnosed with throat cancer. She is alone and scared and very sorry that she was not able to stop smoking. Now she faces a very difficult time.
    Angela don't quit. Just make a decision not to smoke for one day. Then do it again & again. Two days leads into 3 then 4 and so on it goes. One day you realize you don't need them.
    Use any aid that helps get you through the first 3 months.
    You do not want to suffer through a Smoking related illness! It is not pleasant.
    If you need help call the Canadian Cancer Society in your area. You can arrange to talk to someone over the phone or in person about how to stop. Someone who has been there and knows how you feel!
    Please try and try again if necessary.
    I'll be thinking of you.

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