Junkyardgirl, I've told you this before and I'll say it again (very nicely! lol) - get your thyroid antibodies checked girl! You have a goiter, you are depressed, tired and sleepy - all symptoms of Hypothyroidism. The majority of doctors won't test the antibodies (I went through about 7 doctors, including an endocrinologist to finally find a doctor who would check them). My numbers are all perfectly okay except for my antibodies - normal is like 30, mine were 5200! 1 week on Synthroid, the depression and anxiety attacks were gone! The other symptoms are slowing improving. It took me a long time to get diagnosed and it'll take a long time to heal. Go to the top thyroid doctors site and find another doctor. Ask for the thyroid antibodies test. IF it's fine, then try a different antidepressant. Good luck! Here is a link that might be useful: Top Docs

I can empathize so much. I don't have a family--I'm divorced and live alone with cats. Sometimes when one of the cats gets on furniture she doesn't belong on, I become enraged. I don't hit or hurt the cat, but the anger is way out of proportion to the actual occurrence. I let the cats on all the other furniture and just try to have one piece cat-hair-free, but my anger just boils up so fast and furiously when that's "violated" that I don't know who I am! I'm unemployed, with the position I loved having been taken by a man half my age for less pay and I don't have kids. I find myself wondering if the change in hormones (I went through menopause at 47) has made me less soft and gentle, which is my predominant state. My life, like everyone's, has good and bad in it, and most of the time I feel thankful for all I have, but there are times I could just scream at the littlest thing. It's just not the me I used to know!!

My periods themselves never bothered me or slowed me down. I did have some rough times with PMS including the migraines like Andalusian. Perimenopause was a bear because of the unpredictability and the mood swings. I would bloat, get my period and bloat up again the day after never knowing whether it was another period or not. Pretty much constant PMS along with all the bad eating habits. I'm 56 now, haven't had a period since I was fifty. The first year was an emotional roller coaster with lots of mood swings but things got better from there. I had hot flashes but only only a couple of night sweats the first couple of years. Never took anything including herbals and OTCs. I think that actually helped my body adjust faster. Today my libido is back, I haven't experienced dryness, (knock wood)and I am loving the freedom of not having to plan around my cycle,emotional or otherwise. The one downside is my weight is much harder to control and I carry it in the middle now. I've weighed much more in the past but never had such a large midriff,stomach and waistline as I do now.

Today, for the first time, I imagined what it would be like to run away from home (we are 37, married 15 years, have 17 year old sone and his girlfired age 18 living with us). I even started thinking about how I could do it logistically would I need to take time off work, or could I still go to work each day? Hubby would be alright theres enough reserves in the bank to get him and kids by. I could move to our coutrny proeprty (no power or house, just an old caravan in a paddock) and I could take 3 months unpaid leave from work. All I would need is a few tins of baked beans, a few boxes of matches and candles, some access to music, and my paints. A few good books would be good too. Id have all the space and solitude I needed and enough air to breath and think and relax. No rules, no children, no housework. Dare I imagine what that would be like? no one to offer support to, no one to care about, no one to worry over, no one to smile at, be polite to, struggle to converse with. Wow. I could make my own rules because Id be the only one to follow them. I could eat out of tins and spend as much or as little as I wanted on the things around me. It would cost me nothing to live! This fantasy has blossomed in my mind because of a dream I had this morning before waking. It was a bit mixed up, but there seemed to be people who were talking in a spaceship but had no control over what they were saying or doing. I was hurled out of the spacecraft and was freefalling towards earth. Frightened and panicked, I noticed I had in my hand a small square vinyl package with instructions of how to turn the package into a parachute. But I was too stressed out to read it properly and I hit the ground before I had any chance to save myself. Waking, heart thumping, my brain told me simply, "you should run away from home". Wow, i think I'm suffocating. has anyone dared do the "cave" thing? I would love to hear from anyone who has left her old world behind and learned to live simple, solitutude life. Did it fix her problems? Was she able to return home after a period of time?