Hi deedeebaker yep i suffer from anxiety all the time i have real bad panic attacks also but its not because of a job its because im 46 and no longer working my kids are grown up and i feel useless i started with bad heart palpatations initially feeling like i couldnt breath i shut myself away for a long time im still not right but iv started feeling a bit better since i joined this forum i have begun to feel like i am not alone i got advice from here about the palps and i now take a magnesium and calcium suppliment which has stopped the palps and that alone makes me feel easier i hope when you have found your feet a little your self confidence will improve and u wont suffer so much with the anxiety, if you were not good enough for the job hey you wouldnt have got it gud luck.

I just discovered this thread. How are you doing, Deedee? I am sorry to read your story, and the others here, because I understand this tale so well. One thing that has not been mentioned is that anxiety and panic are physical; they are caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain and they are usually genetic. This affliction is not necessarily attached to menopause. I had my first panic attack in 1976 (I'll never forget it) and they are still going on (am now in my sixties). One thing that is crucial is a good therapist, preferably a psychiatrist, if you have insurance that will cover that. Because psychiatrists are MDs, they understand your entire health situation, and can prescribe the tests necessary to see what kinds of meds you can and can't handle. They also understand these meds in ways that no other therapist or doctor does. My first "therapist" was a psychiatric social worker. I was having trouble with a lot of anxiety most early mornings, as I was showering and doing my hair and makeup. This guy had me analyzing my "unhappiness" at being a woman and having to compete in the world while being "miserable" about myself. The makeup was the trigger, in his opinion. When I escaped from him and landed with a real shrink, the doc said, "Well of course you're having morning shakes; your system is running out of meds. Take the pill as soon as you get up, dissolve it under your tongue (gets into the bloodstream much faster than swallowing it), wait 10 minutes, and then shower, etc." And it worked. I am a huge believer in meds for those with debilitating panic. I take 1 1/2 mgs of Xanax every day, broken into 1/4 mg halves, which I work through during the day. I also take 30 mgs of Celexa, which for me is mainly a mood elevator. When I wailed years ago to my shrink of now 21 years that I was going to be on meds for the rest of my life, he said to think of it as being a diabetic or epileptic, conditions which could not be cured, but could be lived with. I had a high-stress career which I was determined to keep, teaching foreign language to the military, had to be "on" all the time in front of high-energy, hormone-driven soldiers, sailors, Marines, etc., and the meds enabled me to do that. Have been retired for six years and was dropping down on my meds. But in April I had the worst panic attack of my life, it sent me to an ER for an EKG, and since then, my meds are back up. And as others have mentioned, I am a sort of hermit, happiest at home, although I can get pretty jumpy just doing housework. Deedee - I understand about your feeling worst before you go out and then often being better once you're out. That's very common with people like us. Have no idea what the solution is, other than to tell oneself that it will pass. Oh, and being a perfectionist can also be a part of this syndrome. Since we can't be perfect, we are set up for seeing ourselves as failures. I don't suppose that going on disability is an option, is it? BTW, my husband takes Buspar. It helps, but not completely. He can be a nervous wreck, although to look at him you'd never know it. Wishing you good luck and a much improved situation...

Kathi BL, I have the same sort of issues. Kids stuff has been one of the toughest for me. I worry that I'm getting rid of things that she will wish I had kept when she's older. Realistically though, I wish I didn't even have the stuff from my childhood... One of the things that worked well for me when I was decluttering a large amount of childrens stuff was to do it a little bit at time to get me going. Pick out a small grocery bag of clothes or toys that were rarely/never used, or that you feel no particular attachment to. Take it to a drop off location, and then see how you feel. I bet you will get over any feelings of anxiety rather quickly. The other day I was thinking about an item I had donated a few years ago, but would have trouble donating now. I asked myself if I would want it back if that was possible- the answer was "NO!" It can be very complicated, these emotions. I have a pick up scheduled today and I feel that anxiety. I pray for the truck to get here and tow it off early- because I know once the truck is here and gone, it's over and done. Until the truck shows up, I can still run outside and remove things from the stack. Once the truck comes, the anxiety goes with it.

The first thing I need to ask is why you are doing the research instead of your friend. When you have a dog, responsibility should be yours for seeing to its needs, unless your friend is unable to, which of course is a completely different issue. If you are the one working with the dog, there is a disconnect because the creature is not yours. Also, knowing what type of dog Micky is would help. If he is a mutt, knowing what the mix is would be helpful. Exercise is another thing. The dog must be worn down to the point of collapse with games at least twice a day. If he's exhausted, he will sleep most of the time when no one is home. Aside from that, was a heavy duty type crate used? The one I have is made for a Great Dane and there is no possible way my 90 pound pup can bend or destroy it. If a heavy duty wire type crate is not an option, one that is heavy duty plastic, should do. Its of they type that is used for transport on planes etc. Getting Micky crate trained is simply a must. Nothing else you do to help him will matter. To get him in the crate, toss a treat in while he stands next to it, then say go home every time he does it. Then praise him like he is a really good dog. When he is crated, after only a few minutes, return to the crate, praise like crazy and give Micky a treat. Increase the time he's left by a few minutes each time. That way, he will know you are always coming back. Time can be increased only very little or he will panic wondering where you are. I don't think I need to tell you this is a serious issue. The dog probably has been traumatized before your friend came along, and is completely traumatized when he leaves. If things are not brought under control, a very serious accident is going to happen, which will force a decision no one wants to make. I suggest contacting the rescue operation where the dog came from. Tell them what is going on and ask for help. If they cannot offer any, tell them you need a referral you can consult with. Keep making contacts until you find someone locally who can help your friend. This situation is going to take tons of time and commitment to correct it. Things have gone on way to long for Mickey and people dealing with him. It's not fair to either. Mickey is looking to his human as a dog, and thus, for guidance. If his humans don't make the incredible commitment to help him, they need to consider finding him a home where things will be more pleasant. If you think about the dogs situation as it is, you essentially have a large puppy on your hands. It poops, pees, etc., just like a pup would that is a few weeks old. I think a good starting point would be to treat Mickey like a one month old pup. That means researching everything you can find about pups. Of course this is just my opinion, I'm sure some will disagree with me, some will agree. At least this gives your friend a starting point. Good luck! SG