Hi Fellow Sensitive People, I've just moved into an apartment to escape another noisy apartment in which I lived for only three months. I was luckily able to re-assign that lease. My current Landlord was fair enough to allow me my first month before signing a one year lease. Before this month ends, I have to decide if I'm going to stay. The main problem in my last apartment was that it was in the basement of an older house. Therefore, every noise from the apartment above was as if it was in my apartment. It sounded like the only thing between me and the floor above was a piece of thin plywood. So, when the small but heavy footed woman above me walked, it created intolerable thumps and vibrations like a diving board. Not every day but on certain occasions, she had some unsavory characters over. These visits often resulted in foul language, shouting, threatening words and "Get Out" between them etc. I had to fork out over $150 a month more in rent to move into my current apartment. I'm in a triplex and the current landlord assured me that there is concrete and plaster between the floors and walls. Now, I don't have the thin floorboard above me. So, I can't hear the person walking. However, I think I hear cupboards closing and the water pipes clunk after the water is shut off. This is especially irritating in the morning when people are getting up and at night before they go to bed. Apparently, the vibrations and thumps from cupboards and furniture being dragged across the floor aren't muffled by the heavier materials. My floor is carpeted but not all of the other apartments are. I live near the stirs and those who like to run up them or walk heavily are quite audible as well. I could have taken a third floor apartment elsewhere but the area or condition of the building weren't as good. Besides, as others in this forum have mentioned, irritating sounds come from below as well. I hesitate to move again because this place is better than the last one. In addition, if a totally sound proof apartment does exist, it would be out of my price range. I think what we're all finding out here is that there is no "Bed of Roses." If you find it, enjoy it while it lasts because circumstances always change beyond our control. And, I think "Control" is the key word here. If we were all to form a club, it would be called the "Living Space Control Club." We are all nice people--I'm sure we've all heard that before. We're nice because we control our own behaviour to try not to offend or upset others. We're not wimps--if pushed too far, we'll unleash a world of hurt on the offender--but we'd rather avoid that, if possible. That being said, we often don't understand others who don't control their behaviour according to our standards. We tend to become resentful and interpret their "noise making" as an attack on our space. If we showed that lack of consideration to others, that would be our intention, right? So, we instinctively attribute such malice to others behaviour. Usually, they don't have a problem with us and no offence is intended. They just have different priorities to us. Here's the rub. Humans have very different priorities but we're all territorial to one degree or another. In my last apartment, I very politely confronted the noisy woman above me. I asked her if she could hear sounds from my apartment. She replied, "I can hear everything but I'm not a complainer." To that I replied, "Well, I have to do computer work down there." She was "getting drunk" because she just lost her job. So, she asked if we could talk about it the next day. I said that I just wanted to know if she could hear things from my apartment. Since she'd answered that, and was now aware of my situation, I saw no point in discussing it any further. Unfortunately, the situation did not improve. So, my point is that whether your neighbor reacts positively, negatively or indifferent, if they don't share your priorities, they'll think, "Who does he/she think they are?" "I pay rent here as well and I'm going to live according to my priorities." Based on the replies in this forum, there are more of us than I thought. In general society, I think we're in the minority. I have O.C.D, although I've kept it managable for years now. I suspect that I have A.D.D. as well. Someone else in this forum mentioned that he/she had A.D.D. These conditions along with many others are anxiety based. They would not have names or acronyms if everyone had them. Through my experience, I don't believe that there is any 100% cure for anxiety based conditions. However, through therapy, they can become manageable. I've had therapy for my O.C.D. and it helped. I will do a web search looking for suggestions to help me deal with my current sensitivity to noise. Perhaps, I'll follow up on the "nerve damage to ears" suggestion that another person made in this forum. I had many earaches as a kid. I've always found that the breathing exercises that I learned through behavioural modification helped. Maybe I'll try that as well. Any other suggestions would be appreciated as well. Take Care All!

During an attack try to focus on something physically very small and specific... it helps to rewire the brain waves to break you out of an attack. Look at your fingernails closely for example and try to come up with specifics or ways to decribe the smallest aspects of them. I watched a PBS special that said anxiety attacks really can be controlled. Part of what you have to do is just tell yourself that what you are thinking is irrational... no matter how true you believe something to be at the time. You have to tell yourself that your brain is NOT thinking correctly and that although you are having these thoughts, they are not rational. You have to re-train you brain not to accept the irrational thoughts. Another thing.. one of the biggest creators of attacks is the worry itself about having an attack and not being able to control it. I have heard a lot of people say that just having Xanax at home puts them at ease even though they never use it... they know they have it if they need it. I'm not saying you have to get the medicine, but realize that the fear of having an attack may be setting you off. If you can convince yourself they are not all that bad and that you won't die, you may be able to keep yourself from having them. Try to keep stress out of your life. Many times aniexty attacks act up when your life is not so happy and peaceful. Can you work on that? Easier said then done, but something you may want to think about. Try a little warm milk with sugar at bedtime to help you relax. Set up a good bedtime ritual so that your body will become relaxed as you are going through your ritual. Try to get enough sleep and accept that you will have some bad nights (don't worry about that on top of everything). Try to think about happy things and not let your mind wonder. Pick something you feel relaxed or that doesn't create tension thinking about... catch yourself and force yourself to go back to your happy thoughts it if your mind starts to wonder. It's all in training your brain to behave the right way for you. Be sure to talk to your doctor if things stay consistantly bad.

I saw your post few days ago, and couldn't get logged in. I finally got it to work today. My heart goes out to you , I am struggling with severe anxiety as well and know how hard it is. The fears and the agorophobia are crippling. I can relate to everything you are going through, you are NOT aone. PLEASE go to the Power Surge menopause forums, there are forums specific to anxiety and panic issues. It has helped me so much, and the members are on there often, always somebody available to help. And just reading through others posts is very comforting and informative. I am sorry it took me so long to get to you, please hang in there. Peace to you

I'm so sorry you are feeling so stressed. I understand that feeling of nothing to do then all of a sudden it seems that decisions had to be made yesterday. Even with trying to plan so much out ahead of time, some things just can't or don't get taken care of ahead of time. I was kind of in that quandry regarding lighting. It was one of those things I put off hoping that I would see the "Perfect" light. I finally had to start looking seriously and still had trouble picking out what I liked. So many things were "nice". Finally found a style I liked that would work and ordered them. I wanted to use a lighting designer because I knew I needed a little help figuring out how much light was enough. It was my previous experience with general contractor and electrician that made me aware that they aren't necessarily helpful in that respect. Even though it sounds like you have your lighting already, I would still try to talk to a designer about your concerns. Some lighting stores may do that for free, even if you don't purchase from them. Can lights put out a fair amount of light but when centered over walkways the majority is going to end up being behind you when you stand at the counter. I went with under cabinet lighting to help with that. My island is 50" by 72" and I am planning 3 pendants with 100 watt bulbs each. The lighting designer suggested placing them a few inches closer to the seating area side than the other prep side. That will put them in a line just off of center. I'm not sure if it really matters but I thought maybe it would be more aesthetically pleasing if they weren't dead on center. Regarding trim, we have a similar situation in that our existing trim is 22 year old oak, natural which has yellowed over the years. The new cabinets are lyptus stained quite dark, almost a chocolate cherry look. The cabinets will have molding at the ceiling to match. The big dining room window is framed by cabinets and so I think we have to match the window trim to the cabinets there. Do we match the trim at the sink window with the cabinets or leave it match the rest of the house? The baseboard trim is also a concern. We decided to go natural with the new red oak floors to try to match existing oak trim but I would have preferred a stain to make the floor a little darker. That, however, would mean a third wood color and still wouldn't match the rest of the house. Who really thinks about all these little details before you pick your cabinet colors? You just figure it will all work out and then you are stuck thinking, how will I make this all work together. Yikes. Sorry, I ramble. I would avoid painting the trim white. As someone else said, it really wouldn't look right, being the only white thing. I could see maybe painting it to match the green cabinets but think staining would be best. Especially with the style/look you are going for. Definitely find out exactly how much more it is going to cost. I'm not sure if regular oak or quartersawn oak trim will make much difference in cost or look, but I would look into both options so you know if there is much difference. Good luck, soon it will be over and you will be loving it!