Hi, I'm waying in from the deep south. All my life my parents who were both over 35 yrs older than me. (I have 2 brothers and a sister, older than me). Told us all that we didn't ask to be born and didn't owe them a thing. Right.... My Mom's heart has acted up since I was 10. But basically she was healthy up to her 64th birthday. A total of 14 heart attacks of varing levels have occured since. I was single during about 5 of the years after her first attack. I took off a whole year to care for her after the first so she wouldn't be put in a nursing home. I love my Mom dearly. I am 49 this year. Married my late husband(not my first marraige) when I was 36. 1 year after we married he had 3 strokes and 2 heart attacks, the same year both my parents had open heart surgery. Guess who was elected to care for all three at once? I love them but do feel that my siblings should have helped me out some. My sister; also a housewife said she couldn't help. and the 1 time she did come to help...LOL. while I was filling the RX's; my sister went and bought Mom some church's fried chicken. Where was her mind? I walked in just in time to snatch the chicken box out of her hands. She and her family used the weekend to visit their friends instead of visiting with Mom. After Mom's next attack, when she called, Dad said that if she was going to come and help with Mom she was very welcome. But if it was going to be a repeat of before. 1 hour of Mom visit, and 3 days of them going friend visiting and tourist stuff; no thanks. My oldest brother who is retired, replied that he and dad didn't get along. My other brother didn't relate to the family for the last 25 years of his life. Long story short. I spent 7 yrs being caretaker to my husband until his death in 2007, during which; In 2007 both mom and dad's health went to pot(open heart); COPD,diabetis, asteoarthritis, numbness in limbs.. Dad got a blockage in his intestines, supposedly a 2 day hospital stay. Instead it resulted in a 10day stay that ended in his death. so two of them are now dead. And Mom requires someone with her round the clock, as now her nerves are shot and she shakes and cries alot on top of all her other health troubles. I have no family that will help. Her friends are her age and above; my husband is dead. And we're living on $1000.00 a month. I have a government phone that she calls me on if I'm gone very long; she checks that I haven't had a wreck or some other calamity. I love her, I loved my Husband and Dad. But never thought I'd be widowed and total caregiver starting at 46.

Thanks for the support Banditboy! Oakleif - May I quote myself "Since this post seems to be going in a different direction I feel the need to break my vow to post no more on this topic." BTW "May i suggest you join a good collage (I assume you mean college?) debate team and learn the rules. yes i am definately old enough to give you some advice." Been there, done that. Is the University of Arizona a good enough college? :-) Also, you don't have to be a certain age to give me advice, younger, older, doesn't matter. Everyone has experienced different situations in their life. Some younger then others, some not at all. Advice should be dispensed within the context of your experience and not limited to your age. "So please get a life" OUCH!! :-) I can't help it right now, as I've mentioned, I'm laid up from getting hit by a truck on my motorcycle. Had to drop classes this semester and keep my activity level low. In being slightly rude to me with "the life" comment you were defending labmomma, someone you like. Well, I really like all animals and by being slightly rude to labmomma in my last couple posts I feel I am defending cats. The difference here is that labmomma has a voice and cats do not. I had already noticed, before labmomma admitted it, that she was not reading my posts in their entirety. I was making legtimate points in a non hostile, open debate form. As I am sure you can imagine, debating with someone who is only "scanning" your posts can be infuriating, they often miss the point! Oakleif - Early on I was trying to reason & be diplomatic. As I said, and as any debator would know, it can be very frustrating when others in the group aren't listening. She admitted to just scanning my posts!!! Most of my posts, until the last couple, are diplomatic! I have learned at the University of Arizona's debate classes that it is VERY important to pay attention to what EVERYONE says so that you may respond appropriatly. Could I ask you, who else have I been rude to? I didn't realize I was! I truly have no problem admitting when I'm wrong and I would like the opportunity to apologize. "No insult intended. Take your own advice don't get so negative." Your right, your right and your right. I'm sorry. My frustration got the best of me! Labmomma - Your "scanning" of my posts failed for you to get the point in the post you quoted above. Before I typed "WHT IF", in the same post I typed about sancturaries. Directly precedding my "what if" scenario I said "Not too many people would adopt a cat that is incontinent. (Although I know of one couple). That is why these sancturaries exsist, for UNADOPTABLE animals. This really isn't a confusing thought. Yes, it's easier for the owner to euthanize, but in no way is it more humane." Then I said "what if", I sincerely apologize that I did not try harder to connect the two. You have proceeded to make comments about shelters not being a good option for an incontinent cat - yet I never said shelter. "BTW LISTEN CLOSELY THE_ADAMS - STOP TELLING ME TO PAY CLOSE ATTENTION" You have admitted to only "scanning" my posts & this was obvious to me before you told me you were doing it!!! If I wanted to draw your attention to something and make sure you read it in it's entirety I knew I had to do something that would draw your attention to it and keep it short! "In the event of absence of objective medical condition diagnosis, i.e.; UTI, I would euthanize, not going to live in an unsanitary home" WHAT IS THAT YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IN THAT SENTENCE the-adams." That you later said "I wasn't commenting on the issue of sanitary - of course, regardless of which animal does it, it is unsanitary. It's the smell issue, i.e.; the smell of cat urine cannot be removed." Simply, it seems like the two sentences contradict each other. Just because my DH cooks bacon in our house and I find the smell extremly offensive doesn't mean my home is unsanitary. In your opnion, why should the cat be euthanized, because of the smell or because urine is unsanitary? "so I simply scan them, you know how that goes..." No, I don't, I read each and every post in their entirety. And reread them as I an typing my response. Could I just ask one final question Labmomma - It is obvious that you were unaware of the sanctuary option. In the future, were you faced with this situation again, would you please consider the option of placing your animal with a sanctuary? Is that too much to ask? See, nobody has responded to this: How is it more humane to euthanize an incontinent cat, that is otherwise healthy and not suffering, then send it to a sanctuary?

Meisha had her appointment this afternoon to use the underwater treadmill. The vet assistant put a little "bathing suit" on her (for accidents, of course) and then gently showered her off before taking her into the treadmill area. The water was added to the right level and then the treadmill was started, slowly at first, and gradually increased until Meisha was doing a relaxed walk. The vet assistant stayed in with her and walked her on a short leash. It was 6 minutes walking, treadmill off with a few minutes of stationary stability exercises and then 6 more minutes walking. The water was let go, Meisha was brought out and they dried her really well and then did stretching exercises with her. Our vet stayed the whole time explaining that she wanted to observe how Meisha walked in the water and for signs of stress. DH and I were also told to watch for any signs of her getting upset as we know her better and might see something they didn't. We were amazed at how well Meisha did and how happy she seemed in there. She left with her tail wagging! We have another appointment next week.

Drop those bags at the front door lock it and then race to the john??? I've worn a pad (stayfree anykind except the little flimsy ones) for years. I also pin the front end to the panty so they don't drop out on to the floor somewhere. Just making sure I change them a lot and keep doggie doodoo bags to put them in in the bathroom trash. I like to shoot a spray of some kind of fem deo spray around the panty area too. (for my own peace of mind) I'm also trying not to drink a lot at night say from 8pm on no sodas teas etc. I use Biotene for dry mouth so sometimes just a drop or two of that will moisten my mouth. As long as you can go undected it's ok out in public. I think men have the same problem but don't talk about it/. I want to mention that if you get any little sores on your bum/ cheeks/ rear= end because of whatever - a good product to have on hand is "no sting spray on bandage". a few rub-ons of it makes a protective coating and they will heal faster saddle sores. . . .