I was in a car with a friend when a bee (or wasp, I never actually saw it) flew in the window, up the leg of his (baggy) shorts and stung him in those tender man-parts....but guess who was shrieking and hyperventilating by the side of the road? And even when his knackers swelled to grapefruit size, I was still making far more fuss. Still, it is quite true - help is possible (although I tell ya, the therapy lark was a dismal fail for me)......gardening though...... Out of the blue, my daughter (the same bee-stung one - she still loves me) cleared up our naked, muddy puppy ridden yard one day (we had many lurchers) and, in celebration we planted a lavatera. Obviously, as all gardeners know and I had yet to find out, lavatera grows like the clappers....but still, I thought I was a tremendous success (although was, at that point, less amused with the delighted bees)....and obviously had green fingers. Next plant - a japanese anemone - again, by sheer luck (I liked the name) I picked another winner....and an obsession was born. A totally overwhelming desitre to get to know plants (I enrolled for horticulture college quicksmart - 4 years!). Now seeing bees going about their business, on our plants (where they vastly prefer to hang out rather than on our arms and legs), over the last decade, has undeniably got a whole lot easier (although I am, of course, watching at a respectable distance and making sure I have a clear exit).........and as an avid fruit grower, I certainly have a vested interest in their continued health and survival - see what I mean about cancelling each other out....because whilst I fear these creatures, I also admire and depend on them so could not countenance spraying (although I have not the slightest compunction about spraying nettles out of all existence with some lethal broadleaf killer agent orange napalm death........) So while I never expect to get up close and personal to a bee, the sheer number of times I encounter them really does diminish that visceral anxiety because a lot of the time, I am tortured by anticipation and imagination.....actually being near but feeling safe has been the best therapy I have ever done.....so first of all, get involved in the garden.....might be what you need to break the cycle (yeah, I know all that facing one's fear blah blah......but it works if the rewards (a really great hobby and being able to be outside in the garden) are enough to make the effort.

We were in a similar situation a few years ago - lawn was a mess, so we thought we'd re-turf it. Pretty hard work - partly because of all the rotovating/raking the soil to get it level and good for turfing.. we hired a petrol rotovator which was pretty useless on our clay-ey soil. And partly because the turves themselves are quite heavy, so just moving them into position is a bit knackering. But we went with http://www.onlineturf.co.uk/ who did everything as promised and were the cheapest we could find.. I suppose it depends on the size of your lawn - if it's a good size be prepared for some hard work! Melanie :) Here is a link that might be useful: Online turf

Yep, birds and berries - always a risk...but I eat them too - there are few berries, heps and haws that have not found their way into various jams. jellies, chutneys and preserves - have been known to munch happily on fuschia and was thrilled when the rampant iochroma produced rather choice fruits. I discovered the joys of chokeberries, juneberries, saskatoons etc a few years ago and literally grew up on rosehip syrup and have been doing serious research into rubus varieties (so many...and often extremely beautiful too. Bearing in mind the paucity of UK natives (being an island under successive glaciations) the general horticultural thrust in Britain has been predicated on our imperial adventures and planthunting past...plus a very, very different attitude towards invasives, so yeah, I do chuck a lot of plant names about but compared to my recent past, I have become the soul of rectitude and responsibility...at least here in the woods (on the allotment, anything goes). Consider, for example, there are only 21 native species of tree...and a third of them are compromised by disease threats or utterly unsuitable to my soil...so I would say we are pretty much on the same page when it comes to increasing diversity - especially pertinent on a monoculture plantation such as mine. Every single inch of the UK has been managed, altered, refined by humans - there is NO virgin or unmanaged land anywhere at all so our invasive list has been steady at around 13 species for decades (I especially enjoy enraging US people by the deliberate planting of buckthorn - a good bird cover and hedge constituent). Also, it is fair to say, my little 5.5 acres can easily withstand the planting of risky species since I am marooned in the midst of agricultural Norfolk flatlands and watermeadows - the biggest environmental threat comes from herbicide run off and unmanaged ditches incubating Himalayan balsam Japanese saws - what can I say except wow. I was introduced to pullsaws years and years ago and have been a convert ever since, particularly given my puny upper body strength, it is much, much easier on the pull than on the push, to cut through tough woody growth...and when that growth is damp and fibrous, even more so. Another massive plus for hand saws is their repairability. I had a very salutary lesson this summer when an idiot friend decided to strim one of the rides in my absence...resulting in the destruction of $800 worth of Stihl brushcutter. The repairs cost me another $550!...and because it was a fuel mix issue, it was not even under warranty (teethgnashing). And nothing is more attractive to thieves than those orange Husky or Stihl power tools - I know of not a single arbourist who has not been robbed, persistently (including us)...yet nobody glances twice at my collection of pullsaws. True, the pole is the least of it and you could almost certainly fasten a decent blade to any lightweight length of pole (although I am seriously struggling with anything over 13feet). Oh yeah, reminds me - those ipomopsis I planted most certainly thrived - must have transplanted them quickly enough to develop taproots in situ...but I have already collected this seasons seed (weird looking stuff or what) from the allotment plantings and sown a whole heap with anomatheles lessoniana (pheasant grass). I also did some trades for the aristolochia fimbriata....

Wow.........this is a great thread! I thought I had already commented on it, awhile back but I don't see it. It is soooo hard giving up things that we love and things that sort of "define" us. I'm 73 and 1/2 and I still garden (vegetable and water), but the water garden is suffering. My big problem is that I'm a hermit and feel uncomfortable hiring people. My husband does some things for me, but he's still working full time, and doesn't have the same interests as I do. But, .....I finally got my bad knee replaced and able to take care of my garden this year! DH does weed-eat the ground around most of my raised food-grade stock tanks. I just couldn't bend over any more and went with the raised beds. Unfortunately they need watered every 2 days if it doesn't rain. I also grow butternut squash, cucumbers and pole beans up trellises. I highly recommend trellis growing. I've really narrowed down what I plant now and always use the same varieties. A good fence and a solar electric fence charger have kept the animals out. I do grow a couple things in the back yard in big pots, and that's definitely an easier thing to do. There are a few things that I have given up on, since organic greens/spinach, etc., are easily available. For me, feeling like I'm "less" than I used to be is something I need to work on. I guess I need to learn to define myself in different ways, but that's hard. I know this thread is old but hopefully you all are still doing well and getting at least a little bit of joy out of your gardening. Thanks for listening.