I'm just very certain it is not the food. My grandmother raised several ducks when she was young and my mom raised several when she was a kid and now we have some and we feed them the same thing my mother and grandmother fed theirs. They are almost 2 years old and I think that if it were the food this would have happened way before now. But, I will go ahead and let you know what we are feeding them anyways. When they were little we let them peck outside and fed them worms and bugs and baby chicken cracked grain. NOW, we feed them bread, grain, fish, crackers, cereal and they eat bugs all day outside. One of the ducks (the one that is walking still) is looking better today. (But the other one that couldn't walk still cannot walk) We felt around for broken bones. I didn't feel any and both of the legs looked the same.... On one of the ducks it is her right and on the other duck it is her left. I am hoping they will get better day by day. I don't know of any web sites to go to and get any info. from avian vets. Does anyone know of any...Again any advice or info. is appreciated....Genny

Although I will add that I believe that the dynamic is different for people who were sexually abused in youth or childhood. And that anyone who starts to feel that their body is being transformed by their partner into merely a vehicle for that partner's sexual gratification--with pressure to perform on top of that (e.g., you have to pretend to be enjoying the process of your body being used as someone's tool for better masturbation) will naturally turn off sexually. It has nothing to do with rejecting the look of the partner. It has everything to do with issues of pressure, intimacy, closeness, trust, respect, a measure of autonomy, etc. A long-term partner is essentially more of a friend and family member than anything else after those first two or three years. Keep up the genuine praise (it must be truly felt, and stated calmly) and kindness, keep being repeatedly respectful, be somewhat autonomous but not aloof, listen carefully, do things outside the house together, engage in non-sexual affection with no groping whatsoever 8 times a day, be affectionate and patient through illness and stressors, be consistently supportive to each other, and you will have a happy enough sex life. Above all, listen, be brave in talking, be calm, and be devoted to your partner--focus on her or him, not your unmet needs if possible. Clean the house together. Laugh, play, spend time having fun, pay honest compliments.

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" didnt understand "DH doesn't want to do PBJ because SS likes that too much--we want it to be a healthy alternative but nothing *too good.* " DH and I both feel that if the alternative meal is something SS just LOVES, he won't even give the prepared meal a chance. Also--in regards to the sauces--I always have them on the side. When I did the chicken w/peanut sauce, it was from a Family Fun magainze---the chicken was cut into tenders and then baked--and the peanut sauce was served on the side for dipping. SS didn't like that and we offered him ketchup or ranch and he just insisted he doesn't like chicken. Sigh. I get frustrated with it but I am sure I would be just as frustrated if it were my DD that were so hard to please. Picky is one thing--our issue with SS is that pretty much if it's not junk food, he doesn't want to eat it. This is absolutely not a reflection on him at all--I blame BM for letting him eat whatever he wants at her house and for not providing healthier meals. You should see his lunches that she packs--lunchables, or McD's or some other fast food--and then chips--and then he ALWAYS has two desserts, fruit snacks and then some sweet treat. Maybe she considers the fruit snacks a fruit??? haha. It's really sad. I feel like we try to counter-act with healthier but still yummy alternatives...but it doesn't go anywhere... We pack his lunch and it consists of a PBJ, or turkey or ham sandwich--and then chips (but we do the baked lays, or low-fat cheez-its), an apple or banana etc., and a cookie or some other small treat for dessert. And milk or a 100% juice box to drink. Then BM complains that he doesn't eat any of his lunch on the days we pack it. SIGH. It's hard....