Pillbugs / rolly pollys decimated my peas and tender sprouts for two years. Contrary to the naysayers, it WAS pillbugs because I caught them in the act every night and early morning. I tried diatomaceous earth (they crawled right through it), cardboard rings around sprouts (they dug under them), rolled up wet newspaper (didn’t catch enough), oil/soy sauce/beer/you-name-it traps (didn’t catch enough). I honestly considered giving up planting the tender stuff. After two years of failure, in year 3, I have organically won the battle with the pillbugs in my garden!! I am so elated I’m posting this on every pillbug garden thread I can find! This battle takes commitment. I recommend prepping your garden beds, and a week before setting out plants, go to war. (Or plant your seeds and immediately go to war!) Wet down the soil and about every 2 feet, place pieces of citrus peel (grapefruit or orange), or you can just cut up the fruit. Wait until it’s been dark a few hours. Bring a bucket of soapy water and a headlamp or flashlight with you. CAREFULLY pick up each piece of peel and shake it over the bucket. Tap it to make sure all bugs fall off. The tiny ones really dig in and hang on! There will also be many that stayed in the dirt where the fruit was. Quickly scoop them up and dump them in the bucket too. The first night I did this, I filled my bucket to a 1/2” deep of bugs! Just left them there overnight until they were dead, and dumped everything back in the dirt away from the garden. I kept this up every night for a week, and now just check about once a week. I rarely find large ones anymore, just the teeny tiny ones. I have raised beds and the bugs hide along the edges during the day. I keep pieces of peel around the inside edges and if they are going to eat, they choose the fruit over the sprouts. You’ll need to replace the peels when they begin to dry out. Pillbugs are communal. I noticed pencil eraser sized holes around the edges against the wood. After digging, dozens big and small came out of the spot. If you notice these holes, place peel near them and the bugs won’t wander so far to eat (and potentially happen upon your plants). My peas and lettuces are growing beautifully and barely a nibble has been taken out of them! Lastly, I’ve read of many people that hand pick and throw the pillbugs into the compost heap. I would NEVER do this! It’s basically giving them a buffet to breed in. When you add that compost to your garden, you’re inadvertently adding these pests back in. Happy growing!

Hello Fay-Lisa, You've been through so much, you should get a medal for staying as strong as you have and being able to maintain your job and relationship. You are absolutely NOT insane or anything close to it. Many people have that moment in life (or several) in which they feel like they have *had* it. They may not use markers to vent their frustration/anger/anxiety/depression but they do all kinds of other things -- eat too much, drink too much, have affairs, spend too much, leave their families, withdraw completely and so on. First things first, you are doing the right thing by getting all the physical tests out of the way. My first thought after reading everything you've been through is that you might need to see an endocrinologist to have your thyroid and hormone levels thoroughly checked (forgive me if you said you have already done then). If all the tests turn out to be in the normal range, then it's time to consider other possibilities. You may have some kind of chemical imbalance which might be helped with the right kind of medication. This process is most definitely trial and error, and I certainly understand your frustration with the various medications and their respective side effects. I don't like taking them either, but they do have their place as part of an overall approach to tackling and managing symptoms. One suggestion I have is for you to find a *good* therapist -- someone who is very experienced and has training in working with people who may have emotional damage from childhood. You mentioned in your post some unkind things your mother said to you when you were young. I imagine there's a lot more where that came from. Was there alcoholism in your family of origin? Are there others in the family or extended family who have struggled with mental health issues? One psychiatrist I consulted with asked me what kinds of mental health issues there were in my family (I, too, was struggling with terrible depression and panic attacks/anxiety). When I told him there were family members with bi-polar, extreme anxiety, schizophrenia, alcoholism and chronic depression, he said, "well, what did you expect?" The truth is most families have members who cope with these illnesses. A psychologist said that each of us has a collection of genes that contribute to our personalities and temperaments. We just have to work on doing the best with what we've got. You sound like a very self aware, strong person. Please please please do not be so hard on yourself. I am an easy going, peaceful person usually-- but when I have gone through difficult times in my life the anxiety and depression caused me to behave in ways I'm not proud of -- angry, irritated, crying, throwing things, hiding, having major panic attacks where I felt outside of my own body. That's called disassociation and it can happen when anxiety and depression go on for too long without proper treatment. In addition to all this, there is the real possibility that you are now in perimenopause and many of your current symptoms may have been caused or made worse by it. I think I've had every symptom in the "34 symptoms of menopause" list." I've always dealt with anxiety and depression, but this was so deep and dark -- I'm thankful to God that I finally found a competent therapist, the right medication and inner strength to choose to believe in myself and stop condemning myself. This is a choice you can make too and I hope you will. It sounds like you're a caring, compassion, intelligent and very sensitive person. Those are gifts worth celebrating!! It's so easy to slip into that groove of basing your self worth on your job. I'm a decade older than you, and I'm here to tell you, the quality, richness and success of your life is not about what you do to earn money to support yourself. It's about your relationships and your experiences. What do you do to relax and have fun? Fulfilling life experiences don't have to cost a lot of money. You don't have to have a lot of friends, but you do need a support system you can turn to for a listening ear and encouragement. There are many ways you can cultivate loyal, kind and supportive friends. You deserve to have people in your life in addition to your wonderful boyfriend who care about you and will treat you like the amazing person you are. Life goes by so quickly. Take each day as it comes and don't worry so much about the future. As the saying goes, we only live 24 hours at a time. And if I'm having a really bad spell, I take it about an hour at a time : ) Be good to yourself. You might find yoga relaxing or some other kind of exercise class. You might also find a support group beneficial -- it's always comforting to know you're in good company when it comes to dealing with life's difficulties. Think about what makes you the happiest and resolve to pursue these things. Don't ever let anyone make you feel "less than" about anything -- whether it's your job, appearance, hobbies, friends -- all these belong to *you* and if someone doesn't have something supportive or helpful to say to you, tune it out!!! It took me years to learn how to do this, but I am happy to say, it can be done!! Keep posting and let us know how you're doing. I am interested in finding out what the test results will show. But no matter what, cherish yourself and look for the positive things that happen each day -- even the smallest good things matter. God bless you and good luck with your appointments next week!!

If I remember correctly (that's a problem in itself!), the test for estrogen level was pretty definitive - I was below the level that I was supposed to be, and I think the doc tested me again in about 6 months without an improvement. By then, I knew without them telling me that the remaining ovary wasn't working and that I was going in to menopause. My mother also did not provide any info. She, in fact, said it wasn't that bad. For me, it's been 10 years of hell. I started with hot flashes about every 1/2 hour, and now I'm about every 1.5-2 hours. That's a lot (or not much) of disturbed sleep. I do remember something that my doc told me, but I haven't really researched it - women who have less body fat have more severe menopausal symptoms because they don't have any or have less stored estrogen. Not that that will make you feel any better! Still, my exercise kind of keeps me sane and out of the "poor me" mindframe. Hopefully, this isn't really menopause for you. I have seen some comments about hot flashes from women going off the pill - maybe doc can answer whether that's common.

Since alesse is a combintion of synthetic progestin and (synthetic) estradiol, I wonder why you attribute any "improvement" to "progesterone?" Alesse is a triphasic oral contraceptive meaning that the pills are three different combinations and each combination is to be taken sequentially. While I don't know the specifics about Alesse most of these types of oral contraceptives have a "low" dose of estrogen along with a "low" dose of progestin in the first group, a higher dose of both drugs in the second, and a lower estrogen dose along with a still higher dose of progestin in the third. This type of pill is not suitable for continuous administration because it depends on your having a "washout" time period at the end of the cycle of pills before you begin on the next package. The difference in progestin dose between the first group of pills and the last is enough to induce the withdrawal bleeding you experienced when you go directly from the pills in the last group to the pills in the first group of the next package. One of the more common and more serious side effects of oral contraceptives is depression. Either estrogen, progestin/progesterone or a combination of the two may cause depression. I would seek medical advice about this. If your doctor doesn't return calls or makes you wait for three months to get assistance, you might need to go looking for a doctor who is more responsive to the needs of his/her patients. Refusal to return calls borders on malpractice and you might wish to report this doctor to your state medical association and/or your insurance company.