oofasis, I totally understand where you are coming from...so much so that I had to re-read your post to remember what you said...oh yeah, you said you can't remember...I turn 58 on May 22. So.. I hear ya. Sleep has always been a problem but these last couple of years, it has been a major issue. I am sure that menopause and worrying plays a huge part in this. The loss of hormones is key. Knowing and ruminating on how you will feel the next day does not help. No one and nothing I have read has caused me to believe otherwise. It's always "fun" to be one of the older folks at work anyway, and the effects of insomnia night after night only reinforce and highlight that. Not a good thing for those of us who need and like our work. I know younger people have insomnia, as did I, but I believe it is tolerated better when one is young. I was always able to make it up. Now I am not. I sleep 3-5 interrupted hrs each night now for the last couple of years. If I get the 5, I can function. If I get less, well, you guys know how that feels. Irritable, loss of desire or ability to go beyond the simplest activities, (guess I really don't care what movies are playing after all...a new picture of my great/grand nephew...maybe tomorrow I'll have a look). This is not me. I eat right, I exercise (40 years now) regularly, I weigh 110, take vits and calcium, etc)..I am so very sick of living like this. Drs today don't give a hoot. All they think about is "Herd em in, herd em out." So forget it. They shove prescriptions across the table for Ambien, Lunesta, etc. I try none. Too afraid of having an anxiety episode. I have a restless mind, am a realist and therefore, unfortunately, not a real positive thinker. I am sure none of that helps my sleeplessness. I have taken Klonopin (a benzo) for about 15 yrs at night for help. It takes the edge off but doesn't do a thing to help me sleep thru the night. Certainly I am addicted to. it. My husband and I have both had job losses thru the years due to offshoring and it has taken the starch out of us. We have a 17 year old daughter (our only) and I have done a piss poor job with her due to my personality and mood issues due to menopause and sleeplessness. Can you imagine menopause vs puberty and PMS? It has been rocky. I try but am so tired all the time, I can't give her my best..she has seen ugly sides of me. I am always concerned about health care, money, etc. I used to have so much energy and a better attitude. Now I just feel like a zombie. Sure I feel depressed. I don't get any sleep. OK, I am rambling. My daughter is here and wants me to come upstairs...It is Mother's Day. It would be nice to have some emotion about it. Thanks to all of you for the suggestions. I have printed a lot of them and won't give up trying. HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!

I'm so sorry for the grief and stress you've felt throughout this time. You've done a kindness -don't forget that. It was difficult, but you did it because you loved Keo and wanted her to stop hurting. I've had to do it a number of times, and it's always so incredibly difficult, and always followed by weeks of melancholy. But I've never regretted it. Right now I know of a kitty, about 17 years old, who weighs about 3 lbs., and is truly suffering every day from many ailments. Her owners believe they'll 'know' when the time is right to put her down, but to everyone else, it looks like the time is right here, right now, and we feel such sorrow and pity for this poor, frail, hurting kitty..... You did the right thing. I don't know whether you're familiar with this poem, or whether it will resonate with you, but I thought I'd pass it on... The Last Battle If it should be that I grow frail and weak And pain should keep me from my sleep, Then will you do what must be done, For this " the last battle" can't be won. You will be sad I understand, But don't let grief then stay your hand, For on this day, more than the rest, Your love and friendship must stand the test. We have had so many happy years, You wouldn't want me to suffer so. When the time comes, please, let me go. Take me to where to my needs they'll tend, Only, stay with me till the end And hold me firm and speak to me Until my eyes no longer see. I know in time you will agree It is a kindness you do to me. Although my tail its last has waved, From pain and suffering I have been saved. Don't grieve that it must be you Who has to decide this thing to do; We've been so close "we two" these years, Don't let your heart hold any tears. - Unknown

I just would like to do a couple of follow ups to the questions people have had for me. I am hoping this helps answer mine as well. One- they both get leash walked, however, Sampson doesn't go very far and he doesn't care for the cold much (thank God, it's starting to warm up). Truman goes on a lease and a harness b/c he's about 100 lbs and he does so much better with his harness. The puppy goes for a couple of short walks a day and Truman goes for a lengthy walk each day (usually when we get home from work). Second- I used the word "only" to describe where we were at that day, purely so that people could see that he has gone outside to potty. Using the word "only" doesn't mean I don't want to fix the problem, it means it's not fixed yet. Third- Usually my fiance and I are off by 10:00 every night, so we certainly aren't sleeping during the day. I am up , among other times to clean the crate, by 8:00 am at the latest every day. The dogs are taken out to potty and then fed right then. The second time we feed them is at around lunch time, although sometimes they decide not to eat...annz, I think you are right, if he decides to skip it, then I should too. That is where I have messed up, b/c I feel bad and so I want to feed him later b/c he ate his lunch later...We do have a gal that comes by when we are both at work to let them both out and wet their whistle. Usually neither of them eat at that time. The youngest dog is about 16 weeks old. I am certainly not comparing my dogs to dobermans by any means. I was just making the point that some dogs, even the ones who haven't been on schedules their whole lives can be very well behaved and trained. I am so trying to find better ways so that my dogs are happy and so are we. We love them dearly and just want to find a way for all of us to make our new house a home. Thanks for everyone's advice. If anyone has anything to add, please feel free. I know there isn't a magical pill to fix things- I will try anything (but neither of us can quit our jobs. Our schedules are just backwards from most...when others are working during the day we are home, when they are at home in the evening, we are working. Plus, we do have the gal come over to let them out (which Truman doesn't need but likes her coming over anyway). Michelle

Okay I am going to try and answer all the questions I have been asked. Daisy does stay in a crate during the day as my husband and I both work full time. She is not holding herself throughout the day. I don't allow her a lot of water in the morning and I take her out 2 to 3 times before I leave. She is not on a leash, none of out dogs were, but she has a designated "potty" area. When she wakes me up at night we go to teh door directly and to the potty spot. Once she is done, I tell her its time to go back to bed. She has actually improved on getting in the crate at night and not throwing a huge fit. Her Crate is in our room and its not a big one its actually the smallest wired crate I have seen but she has enough room for a small cushion to lay on and room to move around with her toys , and its in our room. The thing of trying to ignore her is a great idea but she will pee in her crate and that is what I am trying so hard to avoid. Also I have a 5 year old dog and when she throws a fit he gets restless then nobody sleeps : ) . She actually didn't wake me up until 4am today and I was so excited but then I found evidence that she potty in the crate I don't thik that was from yesterday unless my husband missed it which is possible. When she does pee in there I try to clean and wash everything in hopes she won't smell it and do it again. Is there anything to help with the odor?? any thoughts. So we are being patient and trying to do what we can, I may try the leash idea, that is a good one. Now Prairie Love you asked me about the Parvo. You all have NO idea what I have gone through. I had NO clue when I picked my precious baby out that she had Parvo. We found out the Sunday after we got her on Wed. She was so sick. I did call the humane society and to my suprise found out 2 days late that they knew on Saturday. I went straight to a board member with my concerns. Its been a huge ordeal but they are working on it and investigating and having a special session to keep this from happening again. I am very aware of how serious it is now, as all of her litter mates lost their lives due to it. Another thing I want to ask you all about. They made me have her fixed before I could take her home, yes at 8weeks of age. Would this affect anything with her. I need to ask my vet. We finally have enough of a "sample" to take in now.. whoo what a chore. Thank you all for your ideas, I love having animal lovers to talk to. Now if I can get my 5 year old to love her as much as her daddy and I do : ) !