Duh.

You would be shocked at the # of health nut type people who smoke pot and think because it came from mother nature it's good for you

It's easy to say. If you've been a drug addict since 13 y.o., you've probably been through several cycles of quit "for good", stay clean for awhile, relapse, try again. I'm clean now, but I still feel like a junkie and always will. I fit all of the classic profiles, and a day doesn't go by when I don't dream of hitting the pills to help ease the pain, at least temporarilly. It's much harder to kick the habit than a non-addict could ever fathom.

I know exactly what you are saying lee676. I am trying to give people hope that you can stay clean. If you can find a reason why you shouldn't go back to using it makes it much easier to clean up. For me it was faith and morality. If one cleans up because they got tired of feeling bad or they got in trouble with law or spouse then it's easier to relapse, one needs a deeper conviction.

I have faith. I am moral. I have conviction in spades. I am, I would like to think, a decent person. None of that holds much weight compared to the irresistable pull of substances that can instantly pull you out of a bind, or at least feel that way. Even the best rehab programs for heroin withdrawal, many of which are quite pricey, have only a 45% long-term success rate - meaning most often they fail.

Many of the messages used to dissuade people from abusing drugs ("this is your brain on drugs") flew right over my head when I first started using. I was 13, and by then I knew drugs were bad for your health. So what? I had nothing to live for anyway. My life at that point was pretty much getting screamed at by my mom because I was so worthless, getting beat up by my dad, getting molested by my mom's pedophilic buddies, doing badly at school because I was so traumatized by what was happening at home, getting beat up because my grades were bad, getting literally dragged back to my mom's buddies as further punishment, all the while kicking and screaming trying to break free; repeat ad nauseam. The one time I told my parents that a private tuturor they sent me to was a child molester, I was told to shut up and not say bad things about someone my mom was friendly with. Then I was sent back to see him each week, alone in his private studio for an hour, for the next three years. My dreams were systematically squelched, my hopes trampled on. I knew little but pain.

Then, barely out of elementary school, someone gave my some weed and I got high. Finally, I found there was some way I could escape that pain, if only for a few hours. Finally, whenever I was being abused in one way or another, I had something I could look forward to. I don't think I would have made it through middle and high school without it. Between pot and alcohol, I could numb myself enough so I wouldn't have to constantly think about what was really being done to me. I felt lucky to survive to be 18 when I could leave my parents' home and go off to college.

There, in my freshman year, I discovered morphine and other opiates. It changed my life. I could pop a pill, and for the first time in my life I felt normal. I didn't think about everything I had been through, instead, under its influence, the pain and tenseness disappeared and I could be optimistic about the future. It relieved the psychic as well as the physical pain. I was hooked.

It would be easier to list the drugs I haven't used over the years. Hallucinagens and stimulants no longer do much for me, but I have a much more difficult time with the "feel-good" drugs. I've spent the last decade trying trying to kick my dependance on opiates, MDMA (ecstacy), and a few others. I can do it - for awhile. But drugs are so inextricably tied in my mind to the relief they provided from childhood abuse that I invariably relapse when I go through difficult times as an adult. Lose a job? Girlfriend breaks up with me? My innate reaction is to reach for pharmaceutical extractions. They worked so well when I was a kid, after all.

I'm trying hard to reassociate drugs with the abuse itself, not with relief from it. I've spent much of the last 6 years trying to overcome the effects of repeatedly being violated for years as a child, and yet here I was now effectively abusing myself, assaulting my own body by ingesting harmful drugs. That line of thinking helped wean me off of junk food and got me to work out frequently, losing 30 lbs. in the process. I'm trying....

Congratulations, you had a lot to overcome. I have found exercize very satisfying also.I was not really happy until I settled down w/ a good woman and reached around 40 years old, it gets better as you get older.

Yeah my friends and i are all tight we live in a little town in virginia. i need advice on how to quit smoking pot for good when they do it. Ive been caught by my parents once before, and they assumed i quit it, that wasnt the case, i kept doing it, more frequently too. Recently my dad confronted me and asked me if i had done it since... i couldnt look him directly in the eye and tell him that suggesting a lie.
Therefore I couldnt get the clearance to work with him, and he is really disapointed. Do i need to get a goal or just stop hanging around these friends or what? i really want to quit but keep getting convinced to get high.... email ur responses to me please at Ryanbenedetto@yahoo.com

Ryan, with friends like that, who needs enemies! If you keep associating with the same friends, it will be extremely impossible to stay clean.

Besides, when they see you staying clean, they will try to get you to smoke pot again, because it makes them look bad if you stay clean. They don't want to be reminded that if you can do it, so can they, and they don't want to!

Your goal should be a healthy body. Remember, it's the only one you've got! Exercise will help you in your struggle. Don't give up.

Lee, I admire you tremendously for staying with it. I can't imagine going through what you have gone through and still having the strength to keep on. God bless both of you.