I hope Paul can clarify what he meant on number 3... I didn't get that either. Before I respond to the other point, let me say that I agree with Ken's primary response to HVX in hostas and testing - it doesn't make much sense to test an inexpensive hosta with a strip that costs almost $6. If it looks virused, it probably is... toss it. But the latest info - that the virus can persist in the soil for 18 months and we don't know how much longer - that opens up a new possible reason for wanting to test. I think if I have to remove a plant, I'll probably replace it with something non-hosta and avoid the issue altogether - but I can see someone wanting to know for sure if they are dealing with HVX out of concern for the soil in that section of their garden. Many folks are dealing with limited space. I think the false positive question is important, because I think people are pretty OK with disposing of diseased plants, but the idea that the strips might tell them to throw away healthy plants might motivate people to not test - after all, if you can't trust the test, why bother? So as the false positives... like Ken, I'm more skeptical than most... but the science of the strips suggests false positive are almost impossible IF the testing strip is correctly used. Two facts support that. First, the results of the strips match extremely well with Elisa testing. (from wikipedia..."Enzyme-linked immunosorbent assay (ELISA), also known as an enzyme immunoassay (EIA), is a biochemical technique used mainly in immunology to detect the presence of an antibody or an antigen in a sample.") The strips were designed to be the field equivalent of the typical Elisa test done in a laboratory - though in a lab, they are likely to do a whole panel of antibodies, not just a specific one. They use antibodies in a similar way to the Elisa testing. Short of an electron microscope, this is the standard set for testing for virus. In fact, it is the standard screening tool for human diseases like HIV and West Nile. In both kinds of testing, false NEGATIVES will occur (plant testing healthy even though it has the virus.) This is most likely due to the plant not having built up enough "viral load" to show up in testing. I don't know how long a period this can be... my impression is that the virus spreads throughout the plant fairly rapidly... but I believe Dr. Lockhart has had the experience of testing a plant negative and then having it test positive later... so not many false negatives, but there will apparently be some. Second, the antibodies on the test strip are quite specific to HVX. Agdia markets a line of strips, each designed to test for one specific virus. Once the chemicals mix with the plant juices and mark the virus, that is, for all practical purposes, the only thing that can make those antibodies react to give a positive reading. The "positive" band on the strip is designed to react ONLY with HVX. The rep says they've tried - and they can't get false positives unless they do something mechanically wrong. Certainly, nothing is perfect... and the science of HVX is changing as we acquire knowledge... and I wouldn't assume that a negative test guarantees my plant doesn't have HVX... but I think if I got a positive test, I would approach it as a sure thing and destroy the plant. This sales rep was a pretty interesting kid. He seemed to be more interested in the science than the sales. He didn't hand out any literature... I had to take it myself. He talked about his visits to the ports of entry where the European import plants are checked... and his work with the inspectors to get them away from just checking samples from each shipment to checking shipments by cultivar - the inspectors didn't realize that the way hostas are harvested and processes, the infection is more likely to be spread among the plants in one cultivar than being spread in the shipping container among the plants. Easy enough error to make - our usual model for virus spread is person-to-person... Anyway, all he wanted to talk about was the virus and what we know so far and the science of the strips - I had to ask him about the pricing...

I'm so sorry you're going through this. My sister is bipolar type 2, with rapid cycling, and I watched my mother try to deal with her. (Fortunately or unfortunately, my sister self-medicated with food, not drugs or alcohol, so she wasn't a physical danger to herself.) I *so* understand that you're afraid of alienating your daughter, and are worried that she'll leave and you won't see her. The only thing I know for sure is that nothing good ever comes out of acting from fear. I'll tell you my bias. I watched my mother do much the same with my sister as you're doing with your daughter. My mother's main concerns were keeping my sister relatively calm and not letting her break their relationship. My mother did things she *knew* were counter-productive, because she was afraid of losing my sister. She "helped" my sister in school - to the point of actually doing many of her assignments. She wrote absence excuse notes for fake illnesses. She provided my sister with spending money. (I, OTOH, started working at age 15.) Later on, my mother gave my sister a place to live, rent-free. She paid for everything - clothes, food, utilities, car insurance, gas ... you name it. My sister got a good education and could get good jobs, but when she got them, she spent all her money on spending sprees. (In one week in 1986, she bought a $20,000 car, a $2,000 exercise machine, $1,500 of stereo equipment, $1,000 in CD's, and probably a whole lot more stuff I never knew about.) My mother eventually gave her money, because she didn't want to lose my sister. (By that time, it wasn't a physical loss she was afraid of, but my sister would go into her room and completely ignore my mother if she didn't like what my mom was doing.) When her illness cycled, my sister would rage at my mother. (In type 2 bipolar, the manic cycle is more a matter of anger than what we think of as mania.) My sister would throw books and scream and make life miserable, but my mother took it, because she was afraid my sister would stop talking to her. My sister lived with my mom until the day my mother died. One of the last things my mother said to me was, "Take care of your sister." Well, I loved my mother enormously, but *THAT* wasn't going to happen, at least not the way my mother was doing it. Once my sister lost her safety net and had to be responsible for herself, she managed to do it. My sister is still ill, on multiple medications, and is hospitalized from time to time, but now she's much more responsible. She holds down a full-time job, something she hadn't done for more than a couple months at a time before my mom died. My sister will tell you that what my mother did for her, though it was done out of love (and fear), made her illness worse, not better. She'll also tell you that while she loved our mother, she never respected her. I don't know if any of this strikes a chord, but there it is. I can't say what you should do, because I'm not in your situation. I just want to urge you to consider that you're not just hurting yourself by placating your daughter to the extent you've described, you're actually hurting her. I keep thinking of that old adage about the definition of madness being doing the same thing over and over and expecting the results to change. I think you know you have to do something different, because you don't like the results you're getting. As to why bipolar illness (and ADHD, and all the rest) are diagnosed so often today, who knows? Personally, I think they're real illnesses and have been around forever, but they're also over-diagnosed. You don't need to solve the societal problem, though, you just need to figure out what's happening with your daughter. If she *does* have bipolar illness, then it doesn't really matter if 10,000 other people have been misdiagnosed with bipolar. And if she doesn't have it, many of the things you need to do are still the same. (BTW, I agree with Alisande that you're right to look at the diagnosis with a critical eye, and ask for a second opinion.) I'm sorry if anything I've written makes it sound like there's anything remotely simple about the problems you're facing. I wish you the best of luck.

HUGS Deb!!! I KNOW your pain!! When I was 19 I had my right lung completely collapse...'spontanious pneumothorax'. I was in the hospital for about 5 days with that one. A year or so later the same lung collapsed 1/2 way...a few months later 1/2 again! I had surgery to repair the lung, 'pleurodesis'. HOPEFULLY yours will 'inflate' on its own. Otherwise, they will probably insert a large needle and draw the air out of the area it shouldn't be in. Sounds worse than it really is. They don't do the same kind of surgery that I had done 27 years ago. THANK GOD!!! It was the worst pain...I wouldn't even wish it on my worst enemy!!! (every time I would breathe, it would be excruciating pain!!) But, I am thankful to say, that it has never collapsed completely again. I have what are called 'blebs' on my lung, and they would pop and cause the collapse, I still have an area that they pop, but it (so far) has reinflated on its own many times. Take it easy!!!

I'm here JensWrens! Are you just curious about the Kitchen you posted or are you planning a new Kitchen yourself? The Kitchen I remember from 2008/2009 (JensWrens' Finished Minnesota Kitchen from 2009) had a long bank of windows behind the sink - are you planning to redo your Kitchen again or are you building a new home? Regarding the layout you posted, unfortunately, I have to agree with the others that it's not very functional. The prep sink has no workspace around it and faces the wrong way (it should face the range) There's no real Prep Zone - there's a "wannabe" Prep Zone, but no real one. With the prep sink all by itself and all usable workspace either behind it, across the aisle in the other small island, or across the aisle and off to the left or right of the range. The MW and Speed Oven (I assume that's what SO stands for) are located far from where they would be useful The "Butler's Pantry", if that's what it truly is, should be located where it's useful - usually b/w the Kitchen and DR. Instead, it almost looks like a secondary Kitchen (for the cook? or for a caterer?) or, maybe, a baking kitchen - except the ovens are on the other side of the wall in the main Kitchen. The Cleanup Zone is in the outside island where the seating is - and where the dirty dishes can be seen far and wide, as well as those dishes being "in the face" of anyone sitting there. Where is dish storage? I'm assuming in the small islands behind the cleanup island - but the one across from the DW appears to be all sink or all butcher block with shallow & narrow drawers - so those won't work. The other small island might work. Where is the DR? Would the dish storage be convenient to the DR and any other table space? If you must have two rooms, then I would create a scullery for the Cleanup Zone and have everything else in the main Kitchen - including move the MW and SO into the main Kitchen. But, that now means a long walk to clear the table or set the table. It also means that the main Kitchen, where you spend most of your time (over 80%) is spent in the less-desirable location - an interior room with no natural light other than the light from the scullery or other, distant rooms. The food storage appears to be split into two separate pantries - and they are widely separated from each other. (As are the refrigerator & freezer, but that isn't necessarily an issue.) Where will groceries be brought into the Kitchen? Most likely, one of those pantries and either the refrigerator or freezer are going to be quite a hike from the entrance - if not all of them being too far from the entrance. The aisles are too narrow - they look like around 39" or so. The five island seats are all lined up like ducks in a row - not very conducive for conversation. I'm not convinced the depth of the seating overhang is at least 15". Even if it is, I recommend deeper - at least 18" - b/c seating behind the Cleanup Zone will subject to splashing as well dirty dishes in front of them. That little stool on the end of the cleanup island doesn't look like anyone except a very small child would fit The DW is in the way of getting to the prep sink from the top pantry (if it's open while someone is prepping/cooking) Personally, I'd rather remove that wall and incorporate all those windows into the main Kitchen. Here's an attempt to show you the zones in a zone map. It's difficult to place the primary Prep Zone b/c there really isn't any good one. Zone Map: . Workflow: .