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I miss my parents

Posted by sunitha (My Page) on
Fri, Dec 18, 09 at 14:54

I am crying too as I am reading other posts. I have been crying daily and wanted to check on the internet if someone was able to come out of the grief. I lost my mother 12 years back and lost my father too ten years later. They took care of me very well through out and I really miss them. They used to feel proud of all my accomplishments and also I could see the happiness whenever I dress up and look pretty even though I am not so pretty.
I miss them everyday and cry everyday. The pain has increased after my wedding since I can witness how my in-laws treat their son and show love and affection. I always wish I had my parents. I have a great job and everything I wanted or might not even dreampt of in my life but it feels so incomplete without them . I am in more grief everyday. I dont know a solution , any advice to overcome the pain will be helpful.


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: I miss my parents

Sunitha, I am sorry you lost your mom and dad. We all face that unless we go first, and that is not the normal order of things. But to cry everyday after this length of time tells me that you are depressed, perhaps clinically. I am not a doctor but I think you should see a doctor and talk about your daily crying. Sorrow is normal and we all have good and bad days, but something is out of sync if you are so upset on a daily basis like this. I try to hold onto faith and know there is a real place called heaven where there are no tears and we will all be together again with our loved ones...a place of immense joy, peace, love and happiness.

Duane


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RE: I miss my parents

I, too, lost my father many years ago. He never got to see my many achievements and as an adult since I was only 14 when he died. We were very close and spent all my waking hours with him as a little girl. We had such a special bond, I wish all children especially daughters were able to have such a doting father in their lives. I miss him everyday. As I have grown up and experienced things in my life including my very elderly mother's illness, I am in a way glad that he died when he did at 69 rather than facing old age or illness, because he would have been a really bad patient and would have made himself and everyone else especially my mother miserable. I know he is watching me from wherever he is and is proud of me as I take care of my mother even though it is very difficult and making strides in my life and don't take a back seat or let people walk all over me.

Sunitha, I am sure that your parents are also able to see what you have done with your life since they are no longer where you can see them. Hopefully you in-laws are able to see that you miss them and in some way fill a little bit of void and are proud of you as their daughter-in-law.

I also agree with Duane that perhaps you should seek some counseling to help you work through your grief. There is no time limit to feeling grief, there never is "closure" whatever that is, but counseling can help you cope with the loss a little better. The circle of life occurs for everyone, and every living species. If you think of it in slightly scientific terms it may help you cope better. Also, think about how your parents would feel if they knew how sad you were everyday over them. I am sure they would be the first to tell you to go live you life to the fullest, they had lived theirs and did all they could to help you be a great humanbeing, and hopefully they taught you well enough to forge on without them in the physical world but that they are right here with you spiritually and to be happy and enjoy what life you have left as well as you can and so that you too can be a great parent/aunt to someone someday.


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RE: I miss my parents

I'm in my late 40's. My my is 73 and my dad is 79. I am very close to my mom, we are like friends. The last 6 months or so I find myself crying and dreading the day she will pass. She is a Christian so I know she will be in heaven and be very happy. But I just can't imagine living life here without her. She isn't ill, just showing her age in many ways and it is hitting me really hard. I find myself crying daily as well. Maybe I like Duane need to speak to my doctor or even see a counselor and get involved in a grief group. I can't go on like this, I'm grieving while she is still here!!

Cindy


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RE: I miss my parents

I miss my parrents very much.Something changes in your life when you find your self with out parents.At the age of 43 my father died after a long illness and my mother died when I was 21. I never felt alone until now.I guess that mom and dad are always there for you and then when they are gone you are truly on your own. I am divorced, many years ago, I have a beautiful daughter that is an adult.I now can see the big picture, I can see MY own mortality and probably have 20 years left in my life.
When I die ,Thanks to a merceful God, I wiill be with my parrents, grand parrents and All my loved ones!


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RE: I miss my parents

sunitha - I too lost my parents at an earlier age. I was 26 and they were only 55 and 58 and passed within a month of each other, both from cancer.

They never saw the fruits of their labor, never saw their grandchildren or their other 2 sons graduate from college.

As recommended, seek counsel from a doctor but do not get hooked on anti-depressants. There are other things you can do.

sunitha - you have a lot of love to give. It should not be channeled in sorrow, your parents would not want that. Volunteer to teach a child to read, help out at hospitals, assist the elderly, etc to just give unselfishly of yourself. Trust me, it works and more than you can imagine. You will always miss your parents, your love for them is not diminished by not grieving every moment, but the same degree or more of sadness you're having will be replaced by grace. The clouds will part and your world will open up.

Your parents love you, they can see you and will be proud of you. You will see them again some day.

Take care.


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