I guess I just want to write about my husband

16 years ago

hello,

I guess I just want to talk about my husband. He died of a massive heart attack on Dec.1. He was returning from a hunting trip something he dearly love to do. He was in a pickup truck with his hunting buddies just talking about their hunt and he just collapsed in the truck. His friends were pounding on the door and window to get my attention and said call 911 there's something the matter with Mo (his nickname). So I grabbed the phone and went out the the driveway and I could not get the phone to work. So I told his buddies to call on the phone in the barn because I need to give him mouth to mouth and cpr. Finally 911 answered and we got him out to the ground to keep giving him cpr. I tried and tried but I just could not save him. The emt's finally arrived but it was to late. They were trying to get me away and I just finally told them I had to go back in the house and go the bathroom. I called my daughter and told her were they were talking her dad. I drove myself to the hospital but I knew as soon as I got there that he was gone, I new he was gone at home. Of course this was late at night and it was difficult to get a hold of everyone. I had to have the police go to my husband's brothers house and tell him. I knew he would know everyones phone numbers. I could not get a hold of my son but finally my husbands brother went to his house and told him to call me. This was just the beginning of the nightmare. After the funeral I contacted an intestinal virus and I haven't been able to get any business done. I haven't been able to eat or drink anything until today. I'm forcing myselt to eat so I can get strong because I'm so weak now. I've been reading this forum and have seen the advise and cried over some of the other stories. I guess I just wanted people to know that life is short and things can change with a blink. My Mo was always thinking of others he helped farmers, truckers, and others with tires as he was a tire man for years. There we so many people who came to me with stories of his kindness. He was only 54 and he leaves me his kids and grandkids the lights of his life.

Thanks so much for letting me tell my story

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Comments (14)

kayjones
16 years ago
Louise, honey - I am SO SORRY for your loss. I lost my husband, in April of this year, to pancreatic cancer - he was 53.

Yes, life is too short and very fragile. A person really doesn't realize just how short until you lose someone very close to you.

Please join us on the singles forum - we will comfort you!

Here is a link that might be useful: GW Singles forum
patly
16 years ago
I am so sorry about the loss of your husband.
Life is sweet, but too often it is also sad and heart breaking.
I hope you can find comfort with close friends and relatives.
I am thinking of you during these hard sad times.
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Hi mom-of-all-trades, thank you for the well wishes regarding my husband. A few things however I believe you misunderstood about my position in all of this. He is free and clear to spend as much time with them as he wants to, they are the ones who cut contact with us when he told them to stop lying all the time and stealing from us. They blocked us on facebook and the youngest has moved away and never let us know her contact info. The oldest refuses to tell us when asked. Husband has already extended the olive branch as it were twice without success. The ball is in their court... The youngest never really wanted anything to do with her half siblings and is so far gone in her relationship with her father that he doubts she will ever make contact again. (long story). The oldest still lives with her mother and her mother decided that she doesn't like me because I helped my husband not be a doormat to her and the demands for money that she would have just pissed away for herself (he wasn't required to pay child support and they are both over 18) and guilt she still tried to lay upon him regarding his older children. His oldest seems to have learned how to behave from her mother regarding the stealing, lying and manipulating. I didn't really have a problem with her spending time with my daughter until I started noticing things missing from my house. She even stole a pair of my husband's shoes. New ones that he just bought. Stealing not just from him, but from me as well. When confronted about it, lying and acting outraged at even being accused even though some of the stuff later appeared in her house. This is not the type of person either me or my husband want in our house regardless if she is his daughter. If she ever realizes that she needs to clean up her act and be honest and not steal, then she will be welcome again. And she has been told this. She isn't only hurting us, she is hurting her half-siblings with every item she takes that we have to replace. I have made it clear that I value honesty highly and at this point it is too hard for her to accept. We will see what happens in the future but like I said, I have a strong gut feeling that it will not. Regards NadineV PS, there is a lot more information about what led to this situation in my two previous posts if anyone is interested.
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louweze
Original Author
16 years ago
Dont ever ask what else can happen because something will. After the death of my husband on Dec.1 my son has been helping me with all of the outdoor chores feeding horses, dogs, chickens, and ducks. He comes over every night after work so I would not have to do it by myself. My son got sick at work last Friday and they sent him to the hospital to check him out. At first they thought he had a stroke but the CT scan and blood tests were normal so they sent him home. He went to the doctor on Tuesday and the doctor said I want you to have an MRI just to make sure. So on Wednesday he had the MRI and yes he had a mild stroke. He is only 36 and this just doesn't seem possible. So he is in the hospital getting all kind of tests and now they think he has a blood clot in his heart. I don't know how much more I can take. Please pray for my son and my family we really need it.

Thanks for listening
jenslove
16 years ago
I am sorry to hear all the sad stories ladies,as I write my 54 year old brother has been diagnosed with secondary cancer,and my mother is severe alzheimers.I got to hear the touching story of a 23 yr old who died on a brain tumour last year.I even travelled from Ireland to the states to meet the family who after 3 yrs were finding a new way of grieving by celebrating rather than commemorating,I helped with the idea and we formed jenslove.com basically New way of thinking ,when coming to terms with loss ,new internet community www.jenslove.com
This is just to let you know there is now an online community called jenslove.We strive to give you an opportunity to remember your loved one in a unique way, visit :
www.jenslove.com
Where you can create a free page consisting of all your loved ones memories,favourite music,video footage etc.When you are coming to terms ,donÂt forget there are many more like you ,grow strong through sharing and releasing the spirit .
Jenslove is all about Celebration !
Hope you visit
Mark Manning ,
Co Founder
Jenslove is named in memory of Jennifer Rigby Stam 1980-2004
Love and Light

Here is a link that might be useful: Celebrating loved ones not commemorating
louweze
Original Author
16 years ago
Well I am glad to say that my son got to come home from the hospital on Jan.18th. And he did not have a blood clot in his heart thank God. He has to take a baby asprin everyday and Plavix and his doctor says he will make a good recovery if he stops smoking and goes on a diet which he needed to do any way.
I got the autopsy report this week for my husband and it said he had scarring on his heart from another heart attack. Something that I didn't know. How can you have a heart attack and not know it or not tell your wife? I went to the graveyard today and told him I was a little angry with him for keeping this from me, maybe we could have done something to make it better. He never wanted to go to the doctor but if he had he might still be here to play with his grandkids and for me. I still love him and I always will but I am really hurt that he didn't do anything or that I didn't do anything.
I finally received his death certificates today and there is some incorrect information on it so they have to do it all over again. I can't get any of the insurance business complete until I get the death certificates. I guess I'll survive until they are right.
My husband's birthday is Monday January 28th he would have been 55. I am going to have his favorite birthday dinner Chicken and dumplings. I have invited his family members sisters, brother, and there kids for his birthday. I wanted to have them over because we all need to get together. This has been hard for them as well as me and our kids and grandkids.
My daughter hasn't been dealing with this very well she has been angry more than anything. She is so much like her father always happy and cutting up so this isn't like her. She finally went to the doctor and got it all out and is feeling better now. Her doctor suggested she try kick boxing to get out her anger issues. I hope she does.
I would like to thank anyone who read my post and prayed for my son. I think it really helped.

Thanks for listening
Linda
16 years ago
Louweze, Im so sorry for your loss and I pray that you and your family and finding a little more strength every day to help you thru this.

I realize this post is a little old but I felt it important to respond to it. Your husband might not have known he had a previous heart attack. Many people have mild heart attacks and don't even realize it. They think they have heart burn or indigestion. Then, it goes away. The next one is worse, which is probably the one that he had on that day. My DH's dad was having mild heart attacks (3 of them) before the one that actually killed him. He had been telling his family for days that he had terrible heart burn. After he died, they found out it wasnt heart burn after all.
louweze
Original Author
16 years ago
Thank you Linda117 for responding to my post. After I found out that my husband had a previous heart attack I started searching the Internet to find out if this is possible. I did find that a person can have a "silent heart attack" and not realize it. Amazing. Since my son had his mild stroke he has been doing better and now my nephew is getting checked out for possible problems. This was a wake up call for the both of them since heart disease runs in the family. I felt better knowing that this can happen but if we knew, we would have done something about it but it is too late now for him, but not for our son and our nephew.
Yesterday my brother-in-law passed, he had leukemia and was in remission but Dec.26 he was admitted to the hospital for another round of chemo. He was doing better but then he got pheumonia and didn't recover. His wife is my husband's sister both of us are numb. I know just what she is going through now. The past two months have been pure hell, I know it is going to be rough going to the funeral because it at the same place and the same graveyard. We have so many family members out there now. I ordered a double headstone for us on Saturday and it will be out there by Memorial Day. There is so much to do and I have no desire to do any of it but I have started the process. Please keep us in your prayers

God bless you
lynne_melb
16 years ago
Louweze, I'm sorry to hear about your husband and now your brother-in-lsw. I'm glad that your son and nephew are getting medical treatment.

Keeping your family in our prayers, especially during the funeral. Take care.
Lynne
kayjones
16 years ago
I am so sorry for your terrible losses - I went through losing my dear husband to pancreatic cancer last April - aged 53 - just a devastating experience.
louweze
Original Author
16 years ago
Hello

I'm just a little bummed out today. Yesterday I sold the horses. I just couldn't worry about feeding them and keeping them healthy anymore. I talked to the kids and they thought that was the best thing for me to do. My husband had one of the horses for 14 years and he hadn't been off the place since we got him. My husband was so proud of that horse it just broke my heart to see him go. I wasn't so attached to my horse but my husband did buy him for me so that was hard too. We were always tied down to feeding animals that we didn't really go anywhere on trips because no one took care of them like we did. I just don't want to worry and be tied to the constant care of them. I know my husband would'nt want me to worry about them. But I still feel bad. Just another piece of him gone.
My son is doing better he went to the doctor last week and had lost 20 lbs. He has stopped smoking and is taking his meds. Something to be thankful for.

Thanks for listening

God Bless
louweze
Original Author
16 years ago
I had a pretty good day to day until tonight. Our first born grandchild had his 6th birthday today and we went to Chuckie Cheese. Not my favorite place to go but the kids love it. I played with my grandkids except the youngest wasn't feeling well and we had to cut the birthday party short. I kept remembering how proud my husband was of his first grandson. He had so many plans for him and it was love at first sight when he was born. I told the birthday boy that his grandpa loved him so much. He said Mamaw, papaw was here at Chuckie Cheese with me today and we played games. It just broke my heart but at least he is old enough to remember.

Thanks for listening and God bless
dirt_yfingernails
16 years ago
Aw, the little Sweetie loves his papaw and will never forget him. My oldest DD was three when my Dad passed, but she remembers him clearly even though she is 33 now. He even came to her and held her hand when she nearly died from eclampsia with her last pregnancy. He told her she would be fine and so would the baby. They were, eventually.
lldaunt
16 years ago
Re;ijust wanted to write about my husband. i feel for you i lost my husband march 5 th and i know it's so hard. my husband had pancreatic cancer and wasn't talking to me in the end this is so hard as i feel he was so angry with me
eveb tough he may not have been, i know he loved me very much and i'm sure your husband loved you also for some reason sometimes our husbands don't talk to us but we have
to go on for our loved ones
neesie
16 years ago
Louweze, I am so sorry to hear about your husband's death. I hope you aren't still feeling bad about selling the horses. I'm sure they were a lot of work that you just aren't up for at this time. If you found them a good home that's all that matters. I am glad your son is doing better and good to know what conditions he has so that he can take care of himself better. Life is fragile!

And lldaunt, if you read this I'm sorry to hear about your husband too. I think the extreme pain and suffering in the end, your husband may not have had the best communication skills and you may be taking it personally. Things that mattered at one time probably don't mean a hill of beans when one person is at the end of their life. I'm sure he loved you but didn't know how to show or tell you. Bless you both, and everybody on this message board.

I guess I just want to write about my husband

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