Double loss both parents
chickaroonie
17 years ago
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Comments (33)
jlj48
17 years agolast modified: 9 years agomarylmi
17 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
Any soul survivors due to recent loss??
Comments (8)It is human to have the feelings your having. Not having anyone left in the family is a very sad feeling. My dad lost his brother in 2006, dad wasn't doing well himself and it was in the winter when my uncle past, so dad didn't go to the funeral. They lived next door to each other and cared for each other. My uncle past suddenly with no signs of being ill. My dad felt guilty and I'd tell him there was nothing he could have done. After my uncles passing I have been the only care giver to my dad. The first two years wasn't to bad. I would go over to his home, do all his errands make doctor appointments and sometimes he'd need to go to the ER for one thing or another, but mostly his heart. Last Sept. he had congestive heart failure and had to have a pace maker put in. I knew he would be able to care for himself alone and I cannot care for him by myself. I knew I would need outside help. Dad was taking his medicines the way he seen fit not how they are suppose to be taken and he would not listen to me no matter how many times I talked to him about it. I had to place him into a nursing home and it has been the worst thing I've had to go through. I only have two kids and two grand kids, they are busy living their own life. I don't see them nearly as much as I would like to but it is what it is. You did everything you could, what your feeling is normal and you would benefit going to meeting for grieving both your mom and brother....See MoreLoss of both My Parents
Comments (1)Hi Beverly238, I am so sorry to hear of your losses...it is such a terrible thing to have happened, but I don't think you should blame yourself, although I know that must be almost impossible. We are taught to trust our doctors, priests, policemen, etc. so it is common that you should trust what they told you, even if you had some misgivings. I don't know if there is anything that you can do to make yourself believe this, but I think from an outside perspective you were not in the wrong. I just lost my mom as well, that is why I am on this board, and I hope I can offer you some comfort as others have tried to comfort me. Maybe someday, as healing progresses, you can tell your story to others, and maybe make a difference in their lives if they come upon the same situation that you were in. Again, I am so sorry for your loss....See MoreBeing an adult orphan (Loss of both Parents)
Comments (3)I'm so sorry. Yes, I think it's normal to feel like you've been hit with a sledgehammer/run over by a truck/body-slammed by a sumo wrestler. & especially when you've lost your parents; this changes your very identity, & it doesn't matter how young or old you are. My 86-year-old friend told me one day, after we went Christmas shopping, that her parents always gave her a doll for Christmas; seeing people buying dolls for their children made her realize all over again that she was nobody's little girl any more. I do urge you, though, based on some of my own experience, to make some actual, face-to-face contact with more than one person. It's so easy to become isolated, & isolation does make things worse, & it prolongs the grieving time. One key to making contact is to set yourself the task of getting out of the house & doing one specific thing every day, & make is flexible so that you can do it even on a bad day. (One of my 'daily requirements' was to initiate contact with a real-life person every day. Some days I would drop by a friend's home or office to say hello or to bring her a grocery coupon or a paperback book or some such, & some days all I could manage was to tell the grocery check-out person that her nails looked nice. so even on a bad day, I accomplished my task). Please take care of yourself, & be good to yourself. I wish you the very best....See Moredeath of both parents and husband
Comments (2)Oh my goodness, it just doesn't seem fair for one person to suffer so much loss in such a short period of time. My heart aches for you. Please know that one day you will be through the grieving and crying, but it does take time. I think it's important to cry all you want, because eventually you will be through the crying. Do you have a good relationship with your son? He probably does not feel as much grief as you do about your parents, but surely he is feeling the loss of his father. Try to establish communication with him, sharing your feelings and letting him share his. Is there a chance that you two could do something together like a day trip to the beach or even an overnight trip. I think it helps to get away a bit, and when you come back you are still facing all the reminders of your losses, but you've had a chance to "catch your breath" so to speak. Also, see if you and your son can plant a tree, go to Dad's favorite restaurant, put together an album, make a donation to a leukemia foundation. Try to do something together to help in the healing. But it will take time. Of course, there is always grief counseling and group sessions which you can seek out. Your loved ones now gone from you would not want you to stay in bed. I think a certain amount of that is helpful, but soon you have to put your feet on the floor and move on. I'm so very sorry for all your losses. Take care. Susan...See Moresocks
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