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madeline83

How to deal with the death of two close people in one year.....

madeline83
15 years ago

Hello everyone,

My name is Madeline... My mother went to god on the 31st of March this year... Also, a very good friend of mine went to god three days before my birthday on June 16th... Although they both passed in different ways, and I cared about them both in different ways, this is very difficult for me... I have never had anyone close to me die before, and then bam I have two very close people to me die months apart. All I had in the world was my mom, and my daughter... Now the only person I can talk to and trust fully is my 4 year old... So, you could understand that it kind of sucks because I can't say much to her, or get advice... My mom died of kidney failure... She had diabetes and didn't take care of it, so she started to get heart problems... The night I finally found her in her room swollen very much I called the hospital... I should've went with her because it was my responsibility. I always went with her because she was scared of the hospital... I didn't go thinking I would go the next day. The last thing I got to hear her say was that she was scared... Her heart stopped and was revived three times during the night, and no one from the hospital called me till the morning after she died... My friend Brett died on on sport motor bike... Some say he was stupid for how fast he was going. Some say it was the ladys fault for running the red light... All I can say is there is no blame, he's just gone... Now after all of this I can't help, but fear death. I fear everyday my daughter dying by choking on something... I don't really fear death for myself, but I fear the state of pain it will leave my daughter in... Specially if I wound up dying in my bed and she woke up and found me and couldn't do anything because she's four years old... I know it's pretty far fetched, but you never know... I had attempted therapy, but it's so hard to get into they only have certain days and times that you can sign up, and only take so many people a day........ Anyway, I thank you all for listening. If anyone has any tips on living life normal again, let me know...

~madeline

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