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My first grandchild

Posted by socks12345 (My Page) on
Thu, Nov 20, 08 at 13:12

My DIL gave birth this morning to a stillborn baby, our first grandchild, a little boy. I feel heartbroken over losing him, but even more I ache for my DS and DIL and what they have had to go through. They did everything just right, but in the end they lost their child. My heart aches for them.

DIL was 6-7 months along. Doctors said it was a blood clot in the placenta causing baby's death. I cannot stop crying.

Susan


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: My first grandchild

Susan, I am so sorry for your loss. Loosing someone close to you is hard enough, I can't imagine loosing a baby. My heart aches for you and your son and daughter in law. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.


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RE: My first grandchild

Thank you, Linda. I appreciate your kind words.


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RE: My first grandchild

Susan,
We went through the same thing last April. My DIL was 7 months along and lost our grandaughter because of a cyst on the placenta. She had to deliver her still and it took from about 31 hours from the time they admitted her till she delivered her.
I know how you feel, helpless to your son and DIL. We were all there for them at the hospital the entire tme but there was nothing we could do but be there.
We did get to hold her. They named her Margeaux Aliyah (Aliyah means "to rise" in Hebrew.) My DIL is Jewish.
If you want to email me directly, just go through the GW by clicking on my page. I converse with another Grandma that I met on this forum who also lost her grandchild. Yours has now joined our baby angels in heaven.
The best advice that I can give you is to be there for them but respect their grieving. Having lost two babies early in pregnancies, I told them that they both have to grieve for themselves but they have to also grieve together.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Mary


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RE: My first grandchild

Susan,

I am so sorry for your loss and for your children's profoud loss. We had this happen last year and my DIL was 17 weeks pregnant with a very wanted baby. She had to go through the birth, knowing the baby would not be born alive. It took a long time for her to deliver. They got to keep the little dress and cap the nurses dressed the baby in. When I saw those and some photos, it almost killed me to know we would not experience this little boy who already had features of both my DIL and son. They named him Zachary & I know some day I will meet him & love on him. He is an angel in heaven.

I'm tearing up as I write this, but it does get easier with time. We grieve for our children, too...it is just such a hard thing to see them go through this.

I send you and your family healing thoughts.

Liz


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RE: My first grandchild

Thank you, Liz. The photos, the little blankie, all those things are so hard to see. I'm so proud of my son and DIL. They have gone through this with such grace and dignity. They set the bar for us all. DIL said she was grateful for such loving family around her. I know that in time the emotional agony for us all will lessen.

We have so very much to be thankful for, and that will be the theme for our Thanksgiving.


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RE: My first grandchild

2 weeks ago our first grandchild was stillborn at fullterm after a perfect pregnancy. We are heart broken and that is magnified by seeing our son and DIL hurt so much. We so need to hear words of hope about similar situations where a healthy baby is delivered after the courage to try again,. We are so sad.


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RE: My first grandchild

Oh, Susan, I'm so sorry that you and your family have to go through this. I haven't been to this forum in a while, or I would have responded sooner. Please accept my heartfelt sympathy.

Susan


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RE: My first grandchild

My DIL lost our first grandchild, a girl, at 27 weeks. That was in April. She is now pregnant again, just 10 weeks. We are all cautiously happy. Everyone thinks that after the first trimester, everything is guaranteed to be okay. But WE know that is not the case. I pray every night that this baby will be perfect in every way. I know how much it hurts to see your children suffer the pain of losing their child and there is nothing you can do but be there for them. I can't yet tell you what you want to hear but I can say that they will hopefully want to try again. Your grandchild is now an angel, along with our Margeaux Aliyah and others who come to this forum to post. Feel free to email me at My Page if you wish.


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RE: My first grandchild

I haven't been back to this posting since my last post but just wanted to give hope to all who have lost a baby and so wish to try again. My DIL delivered a perfectly healthy baby boy on June 30, 2009. Asher is now 15 months old and is into everything! So there is hope and although we will never forget our Margeaux Aliyah, we feel very blessed. I hope all who have posted here are doing well. It would be great to hear from you.


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