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My 19yr old son commited suicide

19 years ago

I hurt so bad! Its hard to funtion. I can't believe my beautiful son is gone.

He hung himself in his fathers basement on Novemeber 15, 2004

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Comments (15)

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Nell Jean
19 years ago
So incredibly sad. Sometimes it seems that young people can only see the present situation and see no way out. If you feel like it, we'd like to hear about your son; the little boy you loved so much, the grown up son so handsome and charming. You need not share anything that you'd rather not tell us.

You can see by the number of posts here that you are not alone. We do care.

Nell
Vickey__MN
19 years ago
I'm so sorry for your loss.

Vickey-MN
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My cousin also commited suicide about 1 1/2 years ago. this has been painful for my aunt and uncle and his sister. He was manic-depressive and at the time that this happened, he was not on speaking terms with his parents. This has been so difficult for them due to..." what if we had done this, or what if we had done that". They thought he just needed some time, and that everything would come together again, and so they were giving him this time. But he took his life. Life was a struggle for him. He was so brilliant in many ways. But in many ways life was painful for him. I am so sorry for your loss and that you are going through something so painful and trying to understand that which no parent should have to try and understand. May you one day find peace in your hearts and blessings along the way.
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Popi--if this were your son, you'd be wise to be fearful of your retirement and your safety. I told you what happened to my MIL--that girl started out the same way--stealing little bits, then oh-so-tearfully apologizing (oh, so insincerely!) The thing I didn't mention above? because it's always so painful to think about? She almost surely was involved in her father's death, because she was so intent upon getting her hands on the money (and he was in his right mind, unlike his wife, so he was an impediment to her). Look, I don't dispute the fact that the father may have gone off the deep end a bit, but when you have someone that dangerous in your life, you DO have to cut them loose. I'd have done it differently, but that child would still have been out of our lives--and really do the fine points matter that much at that point?
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I don't know, Cynic. There are some people that are born into bad situations and seem to rise from them and still do great things. And others that are born into opportunity and end up wallowing. Still sad though.
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Theotherside... can you read? Or do you just actively ignore what is said? SHE HAS REFUSED COUSELING OF ANY SORT! Yes I would be happy to help find a program for her but right now it won't do her any f** good if she refuses to go. And pray tell me when do you CONSIDER HER AN ADULT??? She is an adult as she blurts out all the time.. The law sees her as an adult. You say around 30, good fight the laws to where parents can make decision for their kids until that age. I am not allowed to make decisions for her any longer... So how do I help someone who doesn't want the help. I really grow weary of your ignorance... oh and by the way her drug of choice is METHANPHETAMINE!!! We would not be having this conversation if it was were pot. No if she were 14 and out of control I could send her to freekin rehab! I could do something about it... Oh and you forgot to post your address :) Your thoughts on parental responsibility is ridiculous and absolutely ignorant.... How do you do something about it... (other than disscussing it with her) At 19 she is an ADULT! Let's put it this way say you had a foster child in your home and they had turned 19 and you found out they were using and became a danger to YOUR other children... You're telling me you would still allow them to stay under your roof? If so you are in my opinion as well as that of the law UNFIT... You parental responsibilities is to protect the minor children you are responsible for. It doesn't mean you can't try to help that older child. But you can't allow their habits to harm your other children... But when they refuse help there is NOTHING you can do! Really do you live in the 50's still? where kids are like "Golly gee ma, I'll do anything you say." You act as if after 18 years of age we have power over them... When in other forums you encourage children to not speak to their parents... Well using your theory these people probably weren't 30 yet so they weren't responsible for any affairs or anything else they were doing. Their parents should have been helping them... Quit being a hypocryte it is either one way or another... People are adults at 18 responsible for their own actions and choices/ or they are children for ever and can blame parents for the rest of their lives!!! You can not pick and choose!!! I mean really in you theory a drug addicted man at 25 yrs old murders someone and it is his parents fault??? What cult are you in? I apologize for my anger but your thoughts don't make sense from one forum to the next. You cange your mind like the wind blows... "She's just a kid, He should have known better, they don't deserve forgiveness, They should always be forgiven" So what the heck is it... Make up your mind on where you stand with the issues before you jump on someones..... case. :)
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alisande
19 years ago
I can only repeat Nell's suggestion to talk to us about your beautiful son. I believe that he is still beautiful, and encourage you to be open to signs that he is still close to you.

Susan
troiano
19 years ago
I am so sorry for the loss of your son. I can't even immagine the pain you must be going through. I also lost a friend to suicide on November 15th. A 46 year old father of two took his life by closing the garage, turning on the truck and putting a hose from the exhause into the truck window. His son is addicted to heroin and his wife is disabled due to a botched surgery to replace a pace maker. I have just found out that his wife had a stroke yesterday after the funeral services. My heart is broken I don't know what to do...it's not fair.
jlj48
19 years ago
I am so sorry for your loss. Please share about him when you are up to it.
Bowdoin
19 years ago
I am very sorry you have to experience the loss of your son. We are here for you to share your hurt & pain. Hugs.
Emma in PA
trinitytx
19 years ago
please keep with us and let us help you through some of your pain.
the holiday season will be especially tough for you.
we all care..

trin
lulie___wayne
19 years ago
I am so, so, sorry for your loss. We would love to hear all about Justin and see a picture of him also. Please feel free to tell us all about him when you feel like it. I too, lost a 19 year old daughter.I know you probably feel like you can't live another 5 minutes. I promise you, as time goes on it will get a little easier.
If you would like to meet my 19 year old who is in heaven with your son, click on the site below.
Lu

Here is a link that might be useful: Christin Cosby Memorial Web Site
Brycesmommy
19 years ago
I'm so sorry. I hope you find ways to get through each day.
kimnkitties
19 years ago
I'm sorry for your loss. You both are in our thoughts.
evatx
19 years ago
My heart goes out to you! I'm so sorry for your loss. As others have said, I'd love to hear about your son when you feel up to it. In the meantime, please know that others care.
mariend
19 years ago
There are some wonderful grief counslours avaiable, and grief sessions. Contact your hospital, or look in the paper for a group near you. They will help you understand the whys and did i or did I not do----
gloriam
19 years ago
I feel your pain. I am so sorry for your loss. I also lost
a wonderful daughter Oct.10 from a overdose. I am feeling
such a lose also. Also lost a 17 year old grandson last
year in a car accident. It is hard belive me. You gotta
take one day at a time. All of us here know what you are
going though. I will pray for you.
des_arc_ya_ya
19 years ago
Oh, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. One of my best friends lost her son five years ago. He, also, hung himself. He was 23 years old.

Please know that others care. I'm like Eva - when you want to share some things about him we'd love to hear about your son. ((Justin's mom))
dcrowex
19 years ago
I am very sorry - this is so very tragic. Please tell us about your son. Share with us what you are going through.

Deb

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