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death of both parents and husband

Posted by jmbrwn (My Page) on
Sat, Nov 29, 08 at 8:44

Thank you for listening. In april I lost my mom(best friend) and 2wks later my dad, parnts were divorced. In september my husband died of a 16 mtns battle from leukemia and I have a teenage son.I feel so lost at times, like my life has come to a complete stand still. Although I know I have my son to live for many days I don't want to get out of bed.My friends don't realize that when I am alone all I want to do is cry.I need to be strong for my son, but not sure what his needs are, since teens greive differntly and don't show their emotions.


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RE: death of both parents and husband

Oh my goodness, it just doesn't seem fair for one person to suffer so much loss in such a short period of time. My heart aches for you. Please know that one day you will be through the grieving and crying, but it does take time. I think it's important to cry all you want, because eventually you will be through the crying.

Do you have a good relationship with your son? He probably does not feel as much grief as you do about your parents, but surely he is feeling the loss of his father. Try to establish communication with him, sharing your feelings and letting him share his. Is there a chance that you two could do something together like a day trip to the beach or even an overnight trip. I think it helps to get away a bit, and when you come back you are still facing all the reminders of your losses, but you've had a chance to "catch your breath" so to speak.

Also, see if you and your son can plant a tree, go to Dad's favorite restaurant, put together an album, make a donation to a leukemia foundation. Try to do something together to help in the healing. But it will take time.

Of course, there is always grief counseling and group sessions which you can seek out. Your loved ones now gone from you would not want you to stay in bed. I think a certain amount of that is helpful, but soon you have to put your feet on the floor and move on.

I'm so very sorry for all your losses. Take care.

Susan


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RE: death of both parents and husband

I'm so sorry to hear of all that! That's way too much in such a short period of time. I extend a hug to you from me.

Socks has some good ideas. And you and your son should talk about your griefs with each other, and I'm sure that any other close family members and/or friends who are grieving also would just love to get together and talk about mom, dad, and husband, sharing the memories and good times together.

Take a warm bubble bath with candles. It can help and be theraputic (sp?). Also just write everything out. All of your happieness, your regrets, just everything relating to these people. Get it all out and down on paper, in a post here, in a blog, wherever. That can also be helpful. Do something nice for a stranger. Just a smile, nod, simple hello, kind word or deed. Also, as I'm finding out now as I'm going, responding to the posts here for others in their time of need seems to have a positive affect, too.


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