Over 10 years and I still miss my dad
threeoffour
14 years ago
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threeoffour
14 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
I miss my Dad so much.
Comments (11)I lost my Dad to Cancer 11 months ago he would have been 67,Since he left I feel scared lost and so alone,it seems like no pain in the world could compare to the pain I go through when im alone in my room and suddenly I have these bursts of images of him in my head.We didnt have the greatest relationship I was always trying to prove myself and always seemed to fail He would create new opportunities for me and no matter how badly i fell flat on my Face he always seemed to say dont worry My boy we will try again.Though he never showed it i knew he wanted something special for me ........... Im so confused now because my patterns haven't changed and im a grown man still but I feel like a little boy lost and all alone and not knowing where to turn because his dad is gone and now facing the world without him is the scariest thought in the world.You know i have had relationship issues and problems in the past and even though he wasnt able to solve them He was my Dad and he was there for me and it comforting, because I was his son and now his gone I dont know where i belong :( my hearts so sore as im writing this the tears are streaming down my cheeks sometimes the pain is so much i feel in my chest ............ i am 37 years old and im a man but you know what I was Allans Son for me that stood for something special I was proud of my Dad though i never always told him We made peace before his quick passing He was so worried about me when he learnt he had cancer How selfless is that I guess in life sometimes our hardest lessons are being learned when The Living arent Here to say its ok My Boy dont worry we will try again...See MoreIs it normal/healthy to cry over my dad dying still?
Comments (3)My kids lost their dad when he was 48 yrs old. Went to work & died. It was sudden & 15 yr old daughter didn't react for awhile tho all 3 of us, my 17 yr old son spent the night holding on to each other in master bedroom . They were OK to sleep in their rooms after that but I told them to come back if it was a bad night. I think you are getting to age of driving, proms, boys, college or work & that means you are growing up without dad & that is scaring you. My son once said, who is going to teach me to be a man(lucky for him my dad & brother were there for him) but if you think about it you are wanting to tell your dad about these things in your life, good things & bad things but you can't & that really hurts. But you could keep a journal & write about growing up, wish you could have seen me today dad, you would have been so proud,etc. I got an A on my term paper, you would have said____ Just talk to him on paper & I think you might feel closer. I moved to Ca. when I was 20 lived at aunts but so lonely for my family & especially dad, I was only girl, 4 bros. calling him we'd both cry & it was expensive so I poured my heart out in letters to him. I was so lucky as I had my folks out here until mom died last yr & dad shortly before at nearly 96 yrs old. But I never had much in way of grandparents so I had a void when younger. So get your feelings down, notice how they change as time goes on, things will seem a little better, you will go with some kids & have a good time when you didn't think you would, you have so many new & exciting things ahead of you. Grab on to life & do the living for both of you. I've had to do that for my kids as a mom I couldn't just let them flounder. I tried to be happy when I wasn't but finally as time passed the memories were sweeter than the pain. We had a great marriage & wonderful years together. You have a wonderful life ahead if you remember that your dad would not want you to be sad & miserable. Shortly before my dad died he held my hands & said, look at me, I did & he said, I have to tell you something, I want you to miss me when I'm gone, but I don't want you to mourn me. Do you understand! I said I did but as time when on I often hear those words, Miss me, don't mourn me. That means remember me, don't forget who I as but don't grieve & fret & be miserable. Such a difference, miss your dad!! Come here if you need friends or advise. Is your mom doing OK? Can you talk to her? It does get better 4 yrs is not that long. Keep busy, have fun, be a kid & you will make your dad proud....See MoreIt Get's Easier With Time But I Still Miss My Mom
Comments (26)My Mom was the greatest person, mother, wife in earth. She was the most spiritual, humble, compassionate, beautiful person I¡¦ve ever known. She was my rock, my faith, my comfort and my guidance, I feel as if I am lost in limbo without her. She had such a story, she was the oldest girl of 13 Children, and she raised her brothers and sisters while her parents ran the bar they owned across from Leavenworth Prison. When she wasn¡¦t doing that she was working in the bar. It made her who she was; she never drank, smoked or swore. She gave my Dad 40 years of her life. She lost her first born child when she was only 23. My brother Todd died of cancer when he was only 2, but yet she had the strength and courage to have 2 more children. I had told her so many times that I did not know how she could overcome that. With him being my only child at the time, I think I would have had to lie down and die beside him. She went head to head with a few Demons¡Kreal ones¡Kand a couple of my boyfriends, and let me tell you she was not afraid to tell them where to go. º My heart has been broken ever since January 5, 2005 when she was diagnosed she was given 6 months to 1 year, but she fought like hell for 1 year AND 6 six months. I am so grateful for all of the extra time that we were given. When she was told of this horrible news, she refused it, would not accept it. As did my Dad, my Sister and I. How could someone so full of life, someone whose eyes sparkled so bright be given this terrible burden? It wasn¡¦t fair, but even then she was teaching us something. She was so brave and never once did she let her faith fall. I spent every moment I could with her, every lunch hour, anytime Dad needed a break, to cook, didn¡¦t matter what I was there! I just wanted to soak her all in, time was running out. Mom grew weaker, the pain intensified, and she had so much confusion from all the meds and so came the need for her to have someone by her side 24/7. I basically moved back ¡§home¡¨ for the last month to help Dad. My sister was called and was also told to come ¡§home¡¨, time was running short. It was not until this time that she actually gave up, ¡§I want you to know that I can¡¦t fight this anymore, I am tired and I have decided to give up. I want you to know that you girls are the light of my life and I love you¡¨. And I told her that we understood, we would be ok and there was a little boy waiting for her and now it is his turn, we had kept her long enough. I thanked her for showing me the kind of person I wanted to grow to be and let her know how much I loved her And a few days later she was gone, I was there with her and holding her hand at that very moment. She was only 59¡Kand I am 29¡KI still need my mom. She once was the greatest person, Wife and Mother on earth and now she is the most beautiful of all the Angels in heaven. My Sister will be here for the Thanksgiving holiday and we have decided that it is time to start going through her things. Deciding how we are going to divide her art, and all her possessions that meant so much to her. What to do with her clothes, her shoes, her books. Call me crazy but I always hope that something from her will show up somewhere, she was the type to tuck little notes away that you would end up finding. I look for her all the time in my dreams; I could sit in pure silence for hours waiting to her voice. I miss her so much; I thought this was to get easier as time passes? Just when I feel that I am up on my feet, they get knocked out from underneath me. How do I deal? What about this hole I feel in my chest? I too hate the cemetery, to see her and my brothers granite stones laying side by side just rips me apart, I never go and I do feel guilty about that, but I don¡¦t feel that is where is ¡§she¡¨ is. June was the month we lost her, to be precise¡KJune 29th, 2006 11:13 am. I hate this month¡Kand I hate that day even worse....See MoreThis has been in my garage for over 10 years....Workable?
Comments (36)Ooooh... I love that island! Is it like an antiqued robin's egg blue? I think you could definitely pull it off in your space if you keep the color light enough. It would be a pretty little accent piece; instead of blending in the with its environment, it would be like a little jewel in it! Delicious. I like your kitchen set, too... and I'm sure your server would look lovely with that finish, although it may be hard to match in case you ever decide to move the piece to the same room as the table. But if you don't, it won't matter! Or what about a chocolate brown? That might look nice against your wall color... or are there any other shades you could pull out of those curtains that you could use for the server? I can't really see what colors are in that pattern. See, your problem is that you have TOO many options! Please keep us posted with what you decide to do! bloomin......See Moreheatherton
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