Nell, Sue, and Lu - Thank you so much for reaching out to me. I've always been the calm, cool, and in control person and I don't even know me anymore. I guess this is how the new me is formed? Sue, just this morning I saw the Memorial you posted and it was beautiful.I guess the Message of Hope and my posting had me too teary to notice it yesterday. I know it must have been a tough day for you. I'm sure your Mom really appreciated the beautiful poem and flowers and, mostly, you being there for her. My Dad died from complications of Alzheimer's Disease in September of 96. My husband died September 4th and his birthday was September 16th. Needless to say, when October rolled around I was so glad to get out of September! And, Lu, I think playing it by ear seems like a good idea. I did that at first - simply refused to make a plan if it wasn't for the next hour - but I guess I thought I should try to do as before and just see what happened. They say the only way to know your limits is to push them. My problem with Christmas is that one day I don't want to decorate at all and the next I want to go all out with decorations everywhere. Christmas was always such a big deal in our home. And I want my children to have at least some Christmas around them when they come to see me - even though they are grown! My son is 27 and daughter is 25 and I still worry about them and how they are dealing with losing the only dad they've really ever known. He was their step dad but after they finished their teenage rebellions they became really close to him. Nell, I will check into some of the programs here and see how that goes. Thanks for the suggestion. I know all of you have suffered losses and I'm sorry for the pain you've been through and are still going through. They say what doesn't kill us will make us stronger. Guess we'll all be pretty strong by the time it is done. I know the difference in the type of pain between losing a close parent and losing my husband; I cannot even begin to imagine the pain that would come from losing a child. I'm sending a prayer up for the three of you right now that today brings you sunshine and smiles and lightens your hearts. Thanks again.

This is the official Carrier Representative for the region. I can reach the contractor, but neither the contractor nor I can get the Carrier Representative to call back.

tos~ How she and her best friends have maintained their friendship, despite the miles, is a source of amazement to all of us. They have a very special relationship and they are all so close. I was just speaking to one of the other mothers last pm, and we both continue to marvel at the strength of their bond. They make it a point to spend lots of time together whenever they can (when she's here for visits). My stepson is best friends with the 2 older brothers in the families, and we adults are friendly as well...have occasional cookouts, pool parties, etc. Although, I think the kids friendship has fostered the adult/family gatherings.... As far as her friends in NC...the majority of her non-school time is spent in dance class, so she is friendly with the girls she dances with. But she says that she really doesn't have any super-close school friends that she "hangs out with", etc. She rarely has sleepovers or talks of anything she does with other kids there. Mostly she is at the dance studio...she's a very accomplished dancer. Lack of good friends there was actually one of the things she discussed when she brought up the idea of coming here for high school. So tos, it's your turn....are you a step-parent? Are you a NCP? What would you have told your daughter in the "hypothetical" situation I posted?...seriously WWYD? Like you, I have no intention of EVER divorcing, but I can "imagine" what I'd do if I were faced with a similar situation....so, please, tell us what you'd say. For the record, my DH fought the move in court. Michigan is a no-fault divorce state, and spousal infidelity has NO bearing on custody, whatsoever. Michigan is VERY pro-mom, despite the fact the courts say they have no "gender bias". Essentially, the only time a mother does not win custody is if she can be deemed "unfit", due to drugs or extreme circumstances. Even homeless mothers win custody here...since we have many women/children shelters, etc. It's really disturbing that the courts do not really have the best interest of the child as their main focus. At the time of his ex-wife's affair, the children were ages 1 & 4. Since they were babies (toddler) he felt that the kids should stay in their home, and with his work schedule at the time, it just made more sense for her to stay in the house. He got an apartment closeby with the understanding that it would be temporary while they "worked on it". Obviously, the outcome was different than the plan. Trust me, if he could have changed the outcome of the custody situation, he would have. Initially, they had joint custody, 50/50 split. When she decided to move, she filed for sole physical, joint legal. He fought it and lost. The judge thought that her soon-to-be new husbands job promotion was more important than children having close, easy access to both parents. That was the sole deciding factor...her husbands increased income. So they can use spouse income to decided custody, but they won't use it to calculate child support...go figure...great court system.

Thank you so much for posting this! I hadn't seen the original post. Bearcat, I'm so glad you continued until you found the answers. Otherwise you would've continued to worry. Enjoy your little man. He is so darn cute! Sheryl