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I don't know if I can do this .....

Posted by toomuchglass (My Page) on
Thu, Oct 6, 11 at 20:58

My best friend of 30 years died last night . Her & I were more than best friends - we had the same soul . I'm devistated . I don't know if I'll even make it through the service on Monday without breaking down . I've been crying for 20 hours straight. I don't expect solutions - I'd just like to hear that I'm not alone.

HERE'S THE BACKROUND : Mary & I met each other 30 years ago . We clicked & our husbands clicked ... from then on --
we were closer than sisters . Just to keep the story short ... she had a heart/lung transplant 2 months ago .Things were going good till
a week ago --- everything turned upside down , and she passed away last night .

I know - in the state I'm in -- I'll never make it through the funeral. I'm so worried about having to leave because I'm just breaking down .

This weekend - I plan on sitting down with 2 boxes of kleenex ... and writing her the longest letter that I can think of & put it in her casket. I'm hoping this will help.
Bless all of you that have suffered with loss.
(((((((((((((( Everyone )))))))))))))))

Follow-Up Postings:

RE: I don't know if I can do this .....

You can do it. I buried my son, who was also my friend, companion and breath that I breathed. It will be after the funeral that you find yourself lost with nothing but time on your hands.
You can do it and if you have to leave because of breaking down, then she would understand. I am sure there will be a lot of people there grieving for her along with you.
Talk to your doctor to see if they will give you something for the anxiety, that helps get you through the visitation and service. Then take it from there.

RE: I don't know if I can do this .....

It's going to be hard but you will get through it for her hubby & family & your hubby, his friend has lost his wife! It's especially hard as after the transplant everyone has such hopes that "it's all better" but sometimes things go wrong. My friend from HS & I still e-mail all the time & we have been friends for 53 yrs. Can't imagine losing her. She called when my hubby ,who was my best friend, died & we cried together on the phone & then she told me what happened to her that same week, baby she took care of died in her arms so we both cried a lot & called each other to get through our grief(baby had SIDS- nurse next door couldn't bring baby back- family later had another child they wanted her to take care of, but she just couldn't take care of any other kids) finally has grandbaby & they are enjoying her so. So grief will come, tears will come but somehow we get through it & go on. I think the letter is a great idea & make a copy of it for you to keep to remember things you did together.Her family might like a copy also. It feels so good to know people care, my best memories of DH's passing was people telling me things about him I didn't even know, like he always went & talked to visitors at church( what, he was so shy around strangers-so I found out he forced himself to be outgoing while I was with the ladies planning the next baby shower or wedding etc.) I still have letters & cards from then, I've read them at times crying & now more with smiles & nice memories! They will value your letter more than fancy flowers or anything else!(Because you took the time to let them know their loved 1 was important to you). Wear her favorite color & tell her family you did it for her as she was always happy wearing it & you are honoring her in this way. Hugs & prayers , Jan

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