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nikkiandjacksmom

almost a year

nikkiandjacksmom
17 years ago

Today is 11 months since my best friend, my dad left to be with the Lord.

I miss him so much. I cant believe its almost a year that I havent spoken to him and heard his voice or saw his smile. My heart is aching. I will never be the same again. My dad was the spirit of our family. Nothing seems good anymore. I feel like I am just going through the motions of each day. I feel like a part of me went in the grave with him.

He was only 68 and died suddenly without any of us there with him. He had so much living to do yet. He had a cerebral hemmorage that caused a stroke. He was with us the nite before at my daughters open house at school. He was fine he was himself. Never in a million years would I have thaught that the next time I saw him would be on respirator and a dr telling us that he is brain dead. It seems like it cant happen to you. But then WHAM, it is like a brick house falling on you.

The holidays are coming and that was his time of year. He loved to cook dinner. He use to try to pursuade us for his christmas presents early. Or he would pick them up and shake or squeeze them to try to figure out what they were. God I miss that. Last holidays we went through the motions but its not the same.

Please pray for me. I dont know how to make it through the rest of my life without him. I am only 35, I probably have a good 30-40 years left (God Willing) to live. Thats along time to have a heartache.

Thankyou for listening to me. I just feel very blue today. Coming here and reading the posts helps me to realize that hurt is a part of life. Your stories really help me.

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