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One of my brothers was robbed and murdered :(

15 years ago

I am so sad :(!!!! My brothers life was taken away from him for no good reason. He was robbed and beat to death with a hammer. He was murdered on May 30th 2008 and wasn't found till June 3, 2008. His body was so badly decomposed. My brother never had anything in life. He would do anything for anyone. He would have turned 47 on June 26th 2008. He leaves behind a wife and four children. Along with 2 grand babies on the way. They have the thug that murdered him. He is in jail trying to plead not guilty. When he admitted to police he did it and showed them were the hammer was. We were alike in alot of ways. I feel like part of me has died along with him. I love him and will continue to talk to him and pray for him for the rest of my life. Listen to the song by Backstreet boys Never Gone. That is my song for him. Very touching Sad:"( Jody

Comments (6)

darzie
15 years ago
I'm so sorry Jody . That's horrible. I feel so sad for his wife a kids too.God bless you all. Darzie
mariend
15 years ago
We do not know why things like this happen but I am sending you and your family prayers and hugs for strength.
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When we had the kitchen in our first house remodeled--about 14 years ago, our builder took me aside and informed me that one of his crew had a dissolute youth and had served time for second degree murder(bar fight gone VERY wrong), and if I didn't feel safe with the ex-con in my house, then the builder wouldn't assign him to my job, but that the builder would vouch for the guy. I'd met the guy--and he was one of the sweetest people I've ever met. AND an amazing carpenter. I let him work at my house. I was 30 and had two kids under 5. Why? I'm not sure--except that I know people are capable of changing. And if felons can't do honest work--what ARE they going to do? That said, if my builder hadn't "fessed up"--and I'd found out on my own--it might have been a different story. I don't know. Just another way of looking at the "criminal record" thing. OH--and I don't think there's a deductable for stealing and breakage when a company is bonded. It's not like it's YOUR homeonweners that is covering it! melanie
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Thanks, everybody. Finedreams and Tenderchichi,, Yes, I know it sounds unbelievable, but it is true. I'm very sure she has some type of mental illness or personalty disorder. Like many people, she is functional enough to carry it off. Remember, she was a small town housewife and not out in the world much where she would have been noticed as weird or crazy by the public. My dad covered for her a lot. Yes, she was that way to all of us chidren and we all moved as far away as possible when we were old enough. And that contributed to us not knowing how bad things really were until the caregivers told us. Her dementia is just now onsetting, she knew exactly what she was doing five years ago. Because of the age difference, she somehow convinced the doctor not to tell my dad he had cancer. That is unethical but they live in a very small town and things are done kind of differently than in a large city. No, there was no autopsy, he died of his prostate cancer. At age 93, there would not be an autopsy unless the next of kin (guess who) or legal authorities wanted one. He did not die of her poisoning because we got that stopped when we found out. Yes, we confronted her. She was just astounded that we would think she did anything wrong. Then she got mad at Dad for "telling us lies". He never said one word. Thermometer, thanks for your condolences but I feel that you are negating what I know to be true. No, I don't have "displaced adoration" for my father. I said he was not perfect. And my anger toward my mother is very, very direct,I can assure you. The affair lasted 20 years, I was a witness to 18 years of it, and she incorporated me through intimidation as a young girl in helping her cover it up. I know what I heard and saw and I know what happened. The memory of my childhood is waking up in the morning and going to sleep at night with her screaming. Yes, to all, I am in counseling. Not only grief but anger counseling. I have lost more than my dad. My sister and I are very close but this has just been devastating for her, she is on Prozac now, and also in counseling. It is just going to take some time. Thanks.
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Diane, we had something similar happen here a few years ago. A man was found dead in his burned car down an embankment. It was supposed to look like the car crashed and burst into flames I guess, but it turned out his wife and her brother planned and did it. They're both in prison and her small kids had to be given to relatives to raise. There was no abuse or anything. They just wanted his insurance money.
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When I heard this, I was sick. Not just because I know this family but because of the teenagers. What would make friends turn on one? Do they really think they are invincible, that they'd get away with it? I saw the news today and the teens were making their first court appearance. The faces on the parents of the accused were so incredibly sad. Imagine your child guilty of murder....
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blueskyye66
15 years ago
My dad too young. He was beautiful -- like Steve MQueen. A star. He had a Triumph when he was 20. He was in the Army in the 50's and served in Korea. I idolized him. So in 2003 I went into his hospital room and his mouth was hanging open and un-shaven and incoherent. My Mother tried to keep me from seeing him. I will never forgive her for not telling me that he was dying. I didn't know that he was dying until the last moments. he was unresponsive and didn't know I was there. I really think that he did know I was there... I feel that he is with me every moment of my life since then. Any response?
blueskyye66
15 years ago
I guess what I am saying is that my Dad's death was just as sudden and horrifying. Maybe not so much as your brothers but just as sudden and sad. I am so sorry for your loss.
sylviatexas1
15 years ago
My condolences to both of you.

Death never is easy;
it's a loss.

but sudden death, violent death, death too young are all added shocks to the loved ones left behind.

Not only have we *lost* someone, we've had someone *taken* from us.

so I think that there's a powerful element of anger or rage involved, & that we don't like to admit it.

Anger isn't "nice".

My feeling is that we don't just get angry out of a clear blue sky, that there's always a *reason*, that we're entitled to our rage (somebody was *taken* from us), & that the best thing to do is face our anger, claim it, & get it out of our systems so we can get on with grieving & with getting to the point that we can remember the lost loved one with a smile, with joy that that person blessed our lives.

Years ago, an old friend told me that during one very long & grief-filled summer, one moonlit night she reached a "boiling point" in her grief & rage.

She took a bottle of wine out to the trampoline in the back yard & climbed onto the trampoline &, as she said, "I sat there & looked at the moon & drank a little wine & howled & squalled & bawled & snotted until I was empty."

I've always thought that sounded so healing.

I'm holding both of you in my thoughts & in my heart, & I wish you the best.
tenderchichi
15 years ago
jody, I can understand how your grief is multiplied by the circumstances of your DB's death. His life was robbed from him. He was not sick nor caused his own death by negligence or self injury. I hope the perp is held accountable for his undoing. At least, that would give the family some form of closure. They can then grieve in peace. I am so sorry for the untimely loss of your DB.

I am posting the song you mentioned on the thread entitled: Songs of Rembrance and Grief.

All my Best to You.

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