Dear Kate. Thanks for your encouraging words. When I first made this post I said no one understood my grief, I didn't mean the people on this thread of course everyone here dose understand that's why we came here. I cannot talk about TJ without tearing up and hardly can talk. It has helped me in so many ways to talk about him. I have never felt this way about any person or animal. I just can't explain why? This little dog has meant so much to my life and now he's gone, I feel so empty. The person on this site said if you do not have a connection with a animal there is something missing in your soul. Truer words were never spoken I might have been one of thoses people because it has taken me 71 years to feel this way. I have had other animals,Cats, Dogs: None of them has affected me this way. TJ consumed me in a way I have never known with love and devotion. When I would have to go out shopping, my wife would look after him. TJ would not stay in the house he would go to the garage and waite for me to come back, looking through the screen. When I came back he was jumping up and down at the screen he would run out to greet me and lick and kiss me for two minutes at least, that is just one of the memories I have of his love for me. Kate, I read your responce to Mike about losing his Maltese, everything you said to him was just how I feel. I know you loved Homer very much, it shows in evry word you speak. LIFE HAS A WAY OF TEACHING YOU A LESSON...And I learned one. I am 71 years old and retired. I have a wonerdful wife married 52 years and three grown kids who are all doing well. My middle son lives in Alaska (A State trooper.) with his wife and two Boys. My Daughter lives in Chicage. My other so lives in Atlanta, His wife will be having their first child in August. I have more to say but have to get off for now. Charlie.

You all have had so much grief of your own. Thank you for taking the time to hear about mine. Right now, I'm feeling numb and overwhelmed. I'm worried about my mom. She doesn't want to go one without him. She actually is taking the focus on everything that happened at the hospital. She has no idea and I don't want her to. We all are just pretending for her sake. I understand that my sister wanted her grown children and their spouses to see dad before he worsened, but they ignored his requests, and he is the patient. I just don't get that. I let my son see him after we knew we were losing him, of course that made them angry, but at that point he didn't care so I wasn't ignoring his requests. But so many things were said to hurt me. No our relationship wasn't strong and open before my dad became ill. We all have gone our separate ways. My mom and dad were the hub that kept us all together. When my mom is gone one day, I doubt that we will ever see each other. I long for a relationship with my siblings, but I am so tired of being hurt. It's gotten to the point that I think life is too short to spend it on people that hurt me and fall short of my few expectations. I think they resent me for moving 16 hours away for 5 years, now I am just 4 hours away. In fact, my brother made reference to my not being there at the hospital, although I dropped everything to put my mom and dad first. It also seems that being the youngest, my family would love it if I was naive and weak, instead of intelligent and independent, as well as very close to my parents. My sister (oldest) has hurt my parents many times with her impulsive mouth and calls later crying and apologizing. I just can't deal with it and I don't want to. It seems like we will just go on having this polite sterile conversation for my mom's sake. It's all sad and it's getting in the way of my grieving for my sweet dad. Thank you all for your words of wisdom. I am so new at this kind of grieving. There are so many layers and so many things to grieve about. The worst is how my sweet daddy suffered. I never expected him to ever suffer like that and I want to forget it. And I want to forgive myself for not doing more, and I can't seem to get past it.

I have two daughters, maybe what I will do is make one dress like a prostitute and the other dress like a respectable young lady, you know the type eleven going on twelve instead of twenty-seven and in heat, Oh this would be for the betterment of man kind doncha know. Of course the one that gets to dress like the prostitute will need to smoke and cuss, date seven guy in one week at the age of eleven, and drop out of school because she is to obsessed with boys to learn at the age of thirteen and pregnant. Of course the one who dresses respectable will need the most effort, having more self respect she will strive for a better education, not being distracted with boys, she will learn things her mother and I will not know, which will be threatening to our egos, she will earn more because she will think more of her shelf, the man she will marry will be a better man to her and their children. We do also have a son and for him I think I will tell him if he want some cheap non emotional sex with a girl, look for the one with the short skirt no bra, bare midriff showing and tattoos and a tongue piercing, but if he wants to have a fulfilling meaningful life with a lady not a pig, look for the one dressed modestly and yes this is Âmy choice I say if youÂre having second thoughts, that should tell you something right there. Of course the world need more porn stars and burger flipper. I am not there to be my childrenÂs friend, I am not their buddy I am dad, period What we say goes, temper that with love and physical affection, and yes hugs. Here is a link that might be useful: Thanking My Horrible Mother And Father

You are (too) kind Voila, and I welcome all ideas! Here is my thinking on the sink skirt. While I do want to repeat turquoise somewhere, there are other, competing goals for the room. I want the kitchen to look old, and I want it to look somewhat utilitarian (since it is unfitted, first and foremost). To me that suggests a simple linen fabric with some texture, in colorways that suggest primitive dying. Handily, i do want to nod to the navy in the chair anyway, and navy is a color that fits the fabric i'm imagining. Hence I am looking for a navy and off white fabric. I did originally think that there was some elusive fabric, whereby people who know what they're doing had already found a good palette for turquoise that I could steal. But all of that fabric feels wrong to me as a sink skirt. The closest i have gotten is this Robshaw print (below), but I still don't think it is the best choice. All of this may beg the question, why buy a turq fridge then? Mostly because I want one, but I can create a logic to it, too. And this is a concept I credit to Palimpsest's postings. I used to think one had two choices for decorating a room. Today, or the original room. It never occurred to me that you could time travel. That you could have a room that says "wow, they haven't touched this kitchen since the 30s. Except when they had to buy a new fridge sometime in the 50s". That is my kitchen's story line.