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Funeral pictures....appropriate???

Posted by alohalani (My Page) on
Thu, Oct 5, 06 at 0:09

Just wondered if it's considered appropriate to have pictures of a loved ones funeral. My sister in law wanted some taken during my brother's funeral & burial. Not close ups or anything, they were of the flowers & casket as it was lowered into the ground, & also a couple of distant pictures of the group of people that were there. (I was adamant that there were no pictures taken of him during the viewing.)
At first I was a little offended, but now that it's been 3 months, I asked her for a CD copy just to put in a box of momentos. I did take a brief look at them, it brought back all the raw feelings of sadness & grief & re-living the funeral itself. It was almost like a reality check too in the sense that sometimes we also go through the "I can't believe he's really gone" days & looking the the pictures confirms that the death really happened & our loved ones are really gone.
It all still feels like a huge nightmare....

Follow-Up Postings:

RE: Funeral pictures....appropriate???

I can't think of any reason why photographs would be inappropriate. When my daughter Jill died, a friend who is a professional videographer offered to shoot a video of the memorial service, and another friend brought his video camera. So I have two videos. I've only watched them once, but I'm grateful to have a record of what was a very beautiful gathering at which many people spoke.

You're probably aware that in the early days of photography a portrait was often taken of the deceased. Many times this was the only photograph the family had of that person.

My sympathy on the loss of your brother.


RE: Funeral pictures....appropriate???

I have a few pictures of my mother's funeral, the flowers and a few people. They are nice to have, but I think I've only looked at them a few times over the years. I think it's good to take a few pictures.

RE: Funeral pictures....appropriate???

One of my son's good friends, a professional photographer, took pictures at the reception following our son's and granddaughter's funeral. He included some other photos he had of Dave and Millie and put them on a DVD. He gave us one, and we bought one for each of our other boys. I saw the photos on the internet, but we haven't looked at the DVD yet. I'm glad to have it, though. Maybe someday, we'll be ready to look at it.

RE: Funeral pictures....appropriate???

I took pictures of my mom in her casket (she looked beautiful) and family members standing next to her. We also videoed the funeral service.
I don't think there's anything wrong with it at all. I wish I had taken pictures of my daughter, Christin, but I guess I just didn't think of it.

RE: Funeral pictures....appropriate???

i so much wish i remembered my camera for my dads service, so I could always remember what the flowers looked like set up, and his eagle picture flying above, . when i relized i didnt have my camera i tried so hard to commit everything to memory. I am glad you have something to look back on when its not so painful (()))

RE: Funeral pictures....appropriate???

We have a DVD of Alissa's service which includes the service itself, the picture presentation (like a slide show) and then they had set up a video camera at the reception for people to share memories of Alissa. We also have pictures of Alissa from her viewing that my brother-in-law took. Those are tucked away in an envelope in my Bible. I don't really think any of the things that have been mentioned are inappropriate; whatever we need to help us in a healthy way through the grief process is OK. My regret is that I didn't get a lock of her hair before she was cremated.

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