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The Greiving Proccess

Posted by ross939 (ross939@msn.com) on
Mon, Sep 19, 05 at 23:28

I ran across this online article which explores the greiving proccess. I hope it may be helpful to those in need. I will start this thread in hopes that others will post their favorite on-line web-links articles, stories or research, etc., to share with others.

I have taken both great comfort and sorrow in witnessing so many tell their stories here. In the past three years I have lost my father and mother to slow debilitating illnesses (emphzema and alzeimer's Disease), as well as having my brother take his own life. I can honestly say that I feel I have aged ten years in this short amount of time.

I remember an interview by former Beatle Paul Mc Cartney, in reference to the passing of his wife Linda. He said that he had many friends and well-wishers advising him shortly after her passing. They told him to keep busy,and essentially not to dwell on it. Paul said that for him, it was essential that he do the exact opposite. For over a month, he "emmersed himself in greif," as he put it. He dug up painful old memories, wrote them down in poetry, and basically brought himself to the lowest of lows. It was only then when he could come to grips and deal with the emotion of the loss and continue his life and develop future relationships with some resemblance of normalcy.

I hope you have a chance to visit the link below.
--John

Here is a link that might be useful: Journey of Hearts


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: The Greiving Proccess

Lots of good ideas there, Ross. Thanks for sharing.

I'm sorry about your family losses. You really have had a tough time of it.

I can understand Paul McCartney's complete surrender to grief. It's the way he took care of himself.

I think this is a wonderful forum. I started visiting about 2-1/2 years ago when my mother died. I cried each time I visited, and could only visit about once a week. But somehow it helped to know others were hurting too, and often with a loss much more crushing than mine. There are lots of nice people here. Foxes Earth used to post, but I don't see her any more. Lulie Wayne is a wonderful source to all who post here. Thanks to everyone.

Below is a site I thought had some helpful ideas.

Here is a link that might be useful: Dealing with Loneliness


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RE: The Greiving Proccess

That site was very helpful. It got me thinking. I'm a quilter and I think making a quilt containing a lot of the good memories would be something I could do. I'm not sure how hard it will be dealing with memories but at least I would be doing something instead of just sitting here with my thoughts.


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RE: The Greiving Proccess

It could be hard, June, but it would be a way to honor the memories.


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RE: The Greiving Proccess

It makes me feel so good to know that I have helped others through this forum. I know that I wouldn't have ever thought to get it started if I hadn't loss my daughter, Christin. Although losing her has been the worst thing to happen to me in my life, it helps soothe the pain to know that something good has come from it. Through her death, others may heal.
I so totally agree with what Paul McCartney said. I don't agree with trying to absorb yourself with other things unless that is really what you feel that you need to do to survive at the time. I think that eventually, there should be a time allowed during the grieving proces when people really need to sort their feelings out and allow themselves to go to whatever depth of sadness that they can handle at the time. I think it is probably better to do it sooner than later, but each person has their own time table. I think not doing it just postpones the inevitable. I have heard of people delaying their grief as long as 20-30 years. Some people just can't or won't deal with it, but it's like a slow cancer festering within them and it manifests itself in other ways... usually anger.
At this time, I don't know of a favorite site for grief information, but I know that there are a lot of them out there.
Lu


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