My total packet bet is 7979.43 by the law of average, should be right on the button. Now while we wait can we talk about my poor pumpkin seeds that were so fresh when I sent them, I mean I was still turning them every hour in the sun coming thru my french doors,before bagging them. Anyway, today, to my horror, the Musque de Provence seeds were moldy green!!!!I did not figure tha tthe time from when I packed them and the time we will get our seeds back would be enough to mold them, as I din't want to treat them with chemicals or bleach but maybe I should have!!! Looked on line for answers , someone mentioned rinsing the seeds in hydrogen peroxide before drying them. I panicked and use what was close at hand , put some bleach in water and filled the little baggie with it and slooshed them around until they cleaned up a bit, then i rinsed them further with my fingers, and planted them in a peat pot to see about germination. I don't know what to tell you. It's really sad to loose these, they were beautiful pumpkins, of the brightest orange flesh. If they are really lost then I will have to make sure mine grows and distribute the seeds again thru another swap.I am so sorry about that, thought i was doing the seeds a favor by not using bleach or other chemicals...and look what happened. Chris

My first seed was planted December 8, 1997. I planted it out March 4, 2008 when it was 14 inches tall. From my 12 tomato plants so far I have picked 33 pounds of tomatoes. Atlanta, Georgia. The early start sure made the difference. Now with the 90, and 92 degree weather and drought I am having blossom drop. As I planted my tomatoes at different times some are just starting to produce. My Roma that was planted later is full of tomatoes that are still green, with a few just getting ripe. I have two rain barrels. My Flicker Photo's of my Rain Barrels http://www.flickr.com/photos/9235655@N02/611778092/ See my tomato plant photoÂs when they were in pots before I planted them in the ground. Karyl ===== Here is a link that might be useful: Photo's before I planted tomatoes in the ground.

Erica and Josh, my thoughts and prayers are with you! I am a bit older than the two of you but have a similar story. i am in my mid-30s and the oldest of 8 children. Both of our parents passed away in 2008. Our dad was diagnosed with advanced colon cancer and passed away after a very hard 3 1/2 month battle. Six months later, our mom was diagnosed with advanced breast cancer and passed away a month and a half later. It was a devastating time for all of us and most especially, our youngest brother who was still in high school. Our grandmother had lived with our parents for a bit and fell ill in 2007 and passed away that spring - this was during my brother's sophomore year of high school. During his junior year, our dad got sick and passed away. This was an incredibly hard time for my brother because he's the only boy in the family so if our mom wasn't home to help our dad go to the bathroom at his bedside and my husband wasn't there, our dad would get my brother to help him. There were times when our dad would try to get up in the middle of the night and because he was so weak, he would fall on the floor and then our mom would need my brother and sister to help her pick him up and get him back into bed. It was devastating to see our parents deteriorate so quickly and especially hard on our brother to have to take on so many difficult adult responsibilities at such a young age. Our mom was diagnosed with breast cancer at the end of the summer just before our brother started his senior year and then passed away a month a 2 weeks later. So our brother dealt with 3 major losses throughout his last 3 years of high school. As soon as my mom passed away, i immediately went to the court to get official custody of my brother. My mom and I had talked about me and my husband taking on a guardianship role. Because my brother was 17 at the time and would turn 18 a month and a half later, we got court appointed custody rather than full guardianship. Guardianship would have taken several months to put in place and go before a Judge and at that point, my brother would have been 18 which would make guardianship more difficult. With custody, it is me and my husband vs. my parents but because my parents are deceased, they cannot argue any of the guidelines of the custody agreement. We needed to have some form of official documentation stating our custodial responsibilities in order to get my brother under our health insurance and thankfully, this worked. Erica, it is wonderful that your father set up a trust to help you with school! I wish I could say the same about our parents. Unfortunately, they were not at all prepared for what might happen if they passed away. There were no Wills, no education trusts, nothing to help out with any of the costs to help raise the younger siblings who needed help and guidance, both financial and otherwise. One of my sisters and I are administering the estates (my grandmother, mom, and dad's estates) and our lawyers made it very clear that no estate money could be used to help with education because even though my brother was 17 at the time of their passing, our parents had every right and opportunity to designate money to be left to help with education costs. It was incredibly frustrating and left me in tears many times as I tried to work step by step to figure out how we were going to manage everything financially. Both my husband and I were still paying back our own student loans and I had been laid off from my job shortly after returning back to work after my mom's funeral. I think that changing the dynamics of switching roles from sibling to a parental role can be quite a challenge in many ways. It can also make you feel very isolated from others, even from your family and other siblings sometimes because there can always be those who question how much control you should have, among many other things. Most of my friends have babies or small children so it was hard to find someone I could relate to who could at least understand what it's like to have a child in high school who would soon embark on all of the excitement of senior year - senior trip, prom, graduation. I can remember heading to the bookstore shortly after my mom passed away, pouring through the shelves, looking for any books that would help explain how to handle the transition from sibling to parent... how to raise your teenage brother. There was nothing. The best I could do was buy a book about raising teenage boys and even that wasn't much help because my brother wasn't just an average teenager but one who had been through an enormous amount of trauma and loss. I found that working through the school was a good place to start. His guidance counselor recommended an excellent therapist that some of the other parents had also recommended. This therapist has been wonderful and I am so glad that I thought to ask for resources rather than just trying to wing it on my own. My brother has gone through issues with depression, substance abuse, and thoughts of harming himself. Just recently, he reached a very low point and we were able to find a wonderful treatment program for him and he's already sounding like his once happy, comfortable self. I am so thankful that this program has been so helpful to him and has been teaching him the coping skills he needs to help him get through the rough times which tend to fall around holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries of their passings. The 2nd anniversary of our mom's passing was earlier this week in fact. In spite of the difficulties, my brother graduated from high school and went on to start college, then realized after his first semester at that school that he wanted to transfer to a school where he could follow his passion. He is an incredibly talented musician and wanted to study recording arts. Once he was settled in a new school, learning and studying in a subject matter that he loves, he really began to excel. There have been bumps in the road as he and the rest of us try to pull together as a family and create our "new normal" but there have also been wonderful milestones accomplished and experienced too. In spite of everything we've lost, we are still very blessed! My thoughts and prayers are with you both Erica and Josh. I am so glad that you found one another! I too come online to try to find other people who have experienced a similar situation because it always feels good to find others who you can relate with. Take care and may God Bless you and your families!!

Marie, Thank you so much for taking the time to write. I have been doing some research on so good books to read, thank you for the advice. I also called my insurance company today to get the name of a good therapist, I am hoping that will help. I do have 2 sisters, 3 sons and several very close cousins. I just feel so bad calling them and crying all the time. I know they are all there for me as I am for them but like I said I hate getting them upset by hearing me upset. Pictures? I think you mean as in my family that passed? If so yes I have thousands. The only problem I am having is I had to hide all of the pictures as I cannot look at any of them. I feel so bad for doing that, it just hurts so bad to see them. I think a journal would be a good idea thank you for that suggestion. It was so odd that you said "I saw a pretty butterfly", I say this because a few days after my mom passed away I asked her to please come and visit me, I knew that she loved butterflies so I asked her if she could come visit me as a butterfly. I cannot tell you how many times I have been out on my deck or any place where I was thinking or crying about my Mom when out of nowhere a beautiful butterfly appears! I know that sounds crazy but it helps me to think my mom is around me. It does look like I am going to be going through a second divorce, I hate to say that because I am so against them, I just dont know what other choice I have. I have a 2 year old granddaughter and 2 year old grandson that have become my whole world, I dont mind being alone and watching them grow to be wonderful people. Its also interesting that you talked about volunteer work as I have been doing some research for my area on volunteer work, I am hoping that maybe I can keep my mind busy and at the same time help someone else. I just wish I knew how long it will take until I can get by just one day without crying for my family that has passed. I love them all dearly but like I said for some reason when my mom passed I feel like my heart just shattered. Thank you again for your kindness and good advice. I will update on this forum from time to time to let everyone know how I am doing. I was reading other stories this evening and my heart goes out to everyone who is going through the same thing. I tried to write to a few but just as I started the tears started. Just please anyone who knows this feeling or who has lost a loved one, I am thinking of you and understand how bad it hurts. Thank you again... have a wonderful week. Lorene