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My son just commited suicide............

19 years ago

We've been expecting this for 37 years......Depresents, booze & guns are causing an epidemic all across America.....Thad

Comments (13)

klimkm
19 years ago
So sorry - I know someone this happened to also. He now has a tatoo of his son on his arm. I hope you can get some professional counseling or help from your clergy to help you through this difficult time. I cannot even imagine the endless grief you must feel....
I can relate to your thoughts on "depressants, booze, and guns". I recently lost an 18 year old relative to a "high profile" case in Illinois that involved a drunk/high individual with a gun. Such a waste of a life...
socks
19 years ago
Your son had a difficult life, and it must have been agonizing for you to watch his struggles. I'm so sorry for it all. Take care.
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Hi Peter; The video shows exactly what I was saying. That composted material was quite moist sticking to Bentlys gloves and compacting into a ball with little pressure on it. Bently even says that the material in the center was more moist and better work by the worms than the outer dryer portion of the bin he was using to keep the worms in. Moistness short of standing water is preferred by worms. That is not nessissarly perferred by humans who have to work in it in order to harvest the worms and compost. I personally keep my worms moist as possible just short of standing droplets of water and have never lost a worm to moisture level to high or a bin going anaerobic because of lack of oxygen during a bedding compaction and biomass explosion which is the cause of the condition of lack of oxygen in the first place. Making sure that the airflow is high volumn and bedding is not compacted fixes all the moisture problems. When some folks remove standing water by tilting bin and using a rubber bulb fixture of some type to remove standing water then by all means try some dry bedding matrerial to leach up the excess water. Letting a bin slowly go through its cycle of evaporation, condensation with the water on sides and top of bin will cause the worms to crawl to the water droplets on the sides and try to get on the tops inside surface where the water is because the water has lots of oxygen in it. Worms prefer wet to dry.
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Thank you for being one of the few dog owners taking care and responsibility of all the needs of dogs not just the front end. "Canine faecal contamination and parasitic risk is serious. Many canine gastrointestinal parasites eliminate their dispersion elements (eggs, larvae, oocysts) by the faecal route." Dog poop lands on the ground and should be moved to a collection site or container below the ground. To move dog poop up into a stacking system lets parasites and other bad things have a second chance of spreading around. The issue with putting it in a stacking system is even with gloves you are touching it twice. More risk of disease. The in the ground system should have other things added than just massive amounts of dog poop. Leaves, grass clippings. A covered hole or dug in container maybe. Depending upon water sources that could be contaminated. Do your neighbors have wells? Throwing big money does not solve all problems. No container needs to be purchased. Maybe not even worms need to be purchased. You need to start slow to let the population catch up. I have heard the tick, worm medication takes 25% of years off of a dogs life. If worm medication is in the dog poop it may not help the worms. Maybe the answer you are looking for are BSFL? Dogs are not just cute, they do leave pawprints, thank you for realizing that and taking full responsibility.
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oh, definitely--have the son put a freeze on his credit w/ the credit unions, in case dad tries to take out a loan or credit card. (is it possible that dad doesn't realize the son will not get his refund bcs of this? Maybe dad thought the only party affected would be the U.S. govt? And so dad didn't think he was actually stealing from his own kid?) And help your son figure out what he'd need to prove that he is not his dad's dependent: -rent receipts and utility bills from the entire year, to prove that he paid for his own roof -ATM-card records to show that he bought groceries often from a grocery store near his home, to prove that he paid for his own food -pay stubs, other work documentation to prove that he was occupied full-time and therefore not a student If he doesn't have any of these things, he can substitute letters (notarized!) from the appropriate people--landlord, boss, roommate. "Junior was a full-/part-time employee who worked X hours a week, from Start Date to December 31, 2006"--especially if he doesn't have pay stubs w/ hours worked, etc. Also to prove he wasn't a student. Have him put it in a folder, and label it, etc., and find a place to keep it so that he'll find it when he needs it. (I keep all receipts, etc., from every tax return in a folder w/ the return itself--just in case) Another thing perhaps, to help w/ the immediate crisis, is for someone who could be a go-between (paternal uncle? paternal grandma? you?) to call the dad and tell him he needs to give his son some money to make up for the fact that he has stolen his kid's tax refund. I know you're using the term "adult" lightly, and in this situation, you *should* use it lightly. Things like this are hard for kids to learn while they're still "kids" and being taught by their parents. This sort of grownup-finances stuff is why parents' work isn't done just because a kid turns 18. This could be a good lesson for him in how to prepare documentation for court, in how to keep records of finances, etc. (all the best lessons hurt, unfort.) I wonder if your son could take him to small-claims court for the amount of the refund? print out the reply from the IRS, ask his brother to testify to the conversation? The ideal would be if he could get his hands on his dad's tax return; I don't think you can subpoena documentation for small-claims court.
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alisande
19 years ago
What a dreadful thing. Your son is at peace at last. I hope you can find your own peace, too.

Susan
lulie___wayne
19 years ago
I'm so very, very, sorry! This is the worst to deal with, I have heard. Please get help and continue to come here.
I'm sure you have grieved for years watching him.
Obviously your son was in pain and now at peace. I wish I could be of more comfort to you.
(((((((((((((((((Thad)))))))))))))))))))))))))
Lu
PRO
Nell Jean
19 years ago
Deepest sympathy to you and your family. I lost a 37 year old son too, but in a traffic accident where he just happened to be on the side of a road when someone else lost control of their vehicle. No matter who lost control and of what, it's devastating when our child dies.

Take good care of yourself. Everyone here cares. Visit us often.

Nell
dcrowex
19 years ago
I am so sorry...words cannot express how much my heart is with you now. Please come here to talk and share your feelings and open up to the warm people in this forum. My deepest sympathies to you and the loss of your son.

deb
Vickey__MN
19 years ago
I'm sorry.

Vickey-MN
User
19 years ago
Oh, Thad, I am so sorry. I have no words to comfort you, just know that I am so, so sorry for your loss.

Dianne
bnicebkind
19 years ago
My cousin also commited suicide about 1 1/2 years ago. this has been painful for my aunt and uncle and his sister. He was manic-depressive and at the time that this happened, he was not on speaking terms with his parents. This has been so difficult for them due to..." what if we had done this, or what if we had done that". They thought he just needed some time, and that everything would come together again, and so they were giving him this time. But he took his life. Life was a struggle for him. He was so brilliant in many ways. But in many ways life was painful for him. I am so sorry for your loss and that you are going through something so painful and trying to understand that which no parent should have to try and understand. May you one day find peace in your hearts and blessings along the way.
starduster
19 years ago
I am so truly sorry for your loss. No matter what, the pain is so great. Your heart is heavy and you came to us. You are among friends..

Praying to understand and have your pain ease soon, but, we shall always carry them in our hearts.

May he rest in Peace.

StarDuster
trinitytx
19 years ago
i am waiting too.
i am so sad for you.

trin
evatx
19 years ago
I'm so, so sorry about the loss of your son.

Trinity, I'm also sorry for you. What you wrote above breaks my heart.
kimlynette
19 years ago
I wept when I read your email. May God bring you small amounts of comfort every day. Kim

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