This touched my soul deeply. Of course they have feelings, and thoughts and one of these days, humans are going to give up calling them instincts and admit it. I set up a live-trap to catch some problematic raccoons once. I heard a commotion outside and found a baby raccoon in the trap. The mother was going crazy, and wailing. She hid in the bushes when she saw me approach.......wise about humans. The sibling didn't know enough to hide, and kept approaching the trap, very upset. The mother was no doubt worried about both her babies, and there was no way she ran. The sounds and anguish were very like what you'd expect from a human. Of course, I propped the door open and walked away and let them reunite. That was the end of the live-trapping.

Dear Phil, I know how you feel. Maybe I can cheer you up. I was in the Hallmark store browsing when an "older" woman said to me something like "you know you get 10 percent off today!" I said "really! great". So when I got to the register I said to the cashier, Is there 10 percent off today? She looked at me in a funny way and said, sort of puzzled, "Are you 60?" I thought I was going to fall over, I was probably 45 at the time but I guess I looked like a senior citizen to the good samaritan who told me I could get 10 percent off! Needless to say, I will never forget that moment, and I have added it to my ever-growing list of funny stories to amuse my younger friends. Cheer up, Phil!!

The feelings you have are what many mothers of sons feel after their marriage...if that encounter made you feel outside a circle..its because you are...I also have to wonder what mothers of daughters are telling and teaching them about in laws.... They are mothers to grown children as well and have to know how a mother to an only son must feel...its really not the same as having a daughter and no one can say it is....I have seen how my DIL's look out for their mothers best interest at the risk of breaking a MIL's heart....my oldest DIL will exchange these looks with her mother as if no one is watching...like they are collluding telepathically...it is so juvenile... They have done this around me many times in my own home...and I hate being around them....my husband berates me if I even mention this is taking place....I am planning my exit out of this marriage and feel my DIL has ruined my family....my husband has never stood by me or supported me emotionally...and having a person enter your family...a small family at that and seemingly treat you poorly will create major conflicts in a marriage if one spouse tries to ignore the others pain...just an acknowledgement is fine.. If truth be told my husband does not care for his DIL but fears speaking up about it to me....obviously we are not going to last to 40 yrs happily.... One thing that parents of a son will do is extend themselves for fear of losing him completely...you say you have heart to hearts with her...but this is probably not the best move....a DIL will use information you give them against you later...in arguments with your son...I was told this by many women in the past....and believe it...my sister created a lot of tension with my DIL based on things that she would tell her when I was not around... We also extended ourselves by buying vaca property with my son and his wife....big mistake 10 yrs later....my son is now behaving more like an unhappy bus. partner....sending emails telling my husband he has not contributed as much financially...wanting to sell which has been my view all along...but my husband did not take my advice and prediction and now sees but really doesn't see... My advice would be to accept the fact that your DIL is going to be a mamas girl....and you will likely feel the chill more than once...do not try to have something that may never be there...you have to remember..she came to your family as an adult...she has no back story with you...your son may not be willing to speak in your defense.... I wish I knew then what I know today...life for me would be so much easier...now I have the stress of having a son, but not really...and having the stress of a controlling husband who chastises me for being hurt...insisting I deal with issues like he does..which is to repress....2 GS's I only see when there is a free spot somewhere....a truly unhappy existence at the moment....I am in the process of letting go as well

Thanks for the comments everyone, and the congrats, Sweeby. I've momentarily kind of lost that warm and fuzzy feeling after the ring toss. In general I have thick skin (lots of teasing for being the chubby kid), but this one still makes me feel badly. Honestly, it makes me feel terrible. My mom is dying and I have no other family left. This is not DH's usual MO, so I'm sure I will get over this but I certainly won't forget it anytime soon. Geri