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When does it stop

19 years ago

I lost my husband last year and 4 months after that I lost my mom. Then this year I lost one dog, then 2 weeks ago I lost another dog and today I had to put my cat toby down.

This is bad for me. I'm so tired of it. My chest is heavy for the pain for all of this. Just tired.

Comments (5)

Wendy_the_Pooh
19 years ago
I'm sorry. It must be hard. Such heavy losses. I hope you can find some quiet peace to comfort you a bit, so you can go on and maybe feel a little better, or at least have some of the heaviness lift.

Wendy
PRO
Nell Jean
19 years ago
It seems as if it never stops. We just keep going. It doesn't get better, but it does get different after a while.
What do you do for renewal, JUJU? Do you have hobbies, or family close by, or church? You have had so many losses in a short period of time. You've spoken before of anger. I hope you're laying that burden down.

Watch for notices of bereavement groups in your areas if you've not joined a group. Talking with others in person who've had recent losses is helpful sometimes, and the groups usually have counselors. Even if you've not had a family member in Hospice, your local Hospice grief group will be open to anyone who's had a loss, call them for information.

I'm sorry for your recent losses. Keep talking to us, too. We all have that common bond here.

Nell
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That is so true, a time comes when "we can remember our Loved Ones with a Smile". Before my Dad passed, I was forced to let go of Him a little at a time. Not because of Him but because of His circumstances in his home. He had been dealing with a difficult sibling for years with mental/drug issues. My mom was becoming senile. What a horrible situation he had and the entire family was alienated from it. Throughout all this and the last years my Dear, Patient, Loyal, Good Hearted Daddy was growing older and weakening. He deserved so much better His Last Days here on earth. I cry to think of His suffering. Such a Good Man and Wonderful Father. Because of the situation he was in it was difficult for me to have the kind of relationship with Him that he needed and deserved. I could only Honor him throughout his miserable last days of existence. I would keep my mind on the good memories I had before my Dad got too old to control the situation. What a strong minded and loyal soul he was to the end. My loss is greater then just the death of my Dad. It is also the loss of what his life could have been like had he not had those circumstances. They say that sometimes there are two deaths. Sometimes people give up their hopes and dreams and bitterness sets in. It is as if their Spirit dies. That never happened to my Dad. He was taken from the Horror in which he lived before it could happen. I miss my Dad and will Love him til we meet again...
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When does the panic stop ?
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so whats wrong with a little panic??? :) Its a major investment and you spent a great deal of time thinking about it. AND a healthly amount of rechecking is just fine because everyone once in awhile it turns up somehting you can fix. I.E. I orderd my SS backsplash for behind my stove. I checked the measurements with my cabinet guy, with my contractor. I searched for the perfect size and finally found one and had my local applicance store (very reliable) order it. It came before anything else and I checked it off my list. One night I sat straight up in bed and thought "I think the package label said a different size than I ordered. and then thought nope the cabinet guy and the contractor both saw the package and did not say anyting. BUT I got up and checked it anyway and sure enough wrong size. I got it traded in time not to hold anyone up. Round about the same time I went and looked at the markings for the new lighting fixures (also in the middle of the night) which two people also checked and they were just plain wrong. Everytime I checked something else after that with my contractor he just smiled and said "better now than later" And don't worry -- I finished my kitchen a month ago and the panic is completely gone. So know I am getting up the nerve to redo my living and bedroom. Good luck.! You'll love it in the end.
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CariJo
19 years ago
when does the constant death stop? It doesn't. I feel like Death is picking or about to pick off everyone I love. It's terrifying.

I am going through something similar, as I just learned a good family friend was killed in a single car accident. Gary had a wife and two six year old twin sons. He was a good father, (how will those boys ever heal? He was needed) and I will never forget his laugh and hanging out with him.

Seems like I have too much practice at grieving.

RIP, Gary.
des_arc_ya_ya
19 years ago
I understand. In 2001 I lost one of my favorite uncles, my dad, my best friend's mom (who was like a close family member), one of my best friends very suddenly and another favorite uncle. One death in February, one in May, two in September and one in November.

That's when the gray hair REALLY started showing up!
socks
19 years ago
Try to do things which lift your spirits. Listen to up-beat music, garden, call a friend or family member to say hello, spend time with children, go to a funny movie. Even though you orchestrate these things yourself, and maybe you aren't really in the mood, they can help. I'm so sorry for all your losses and heavy grief.

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