Loss of Adult Son
sewluv2
19 years ago
Featured Answer
Comments (166)
mcpaul311
7 years agojfalcone2003
7 years agoRelated Discussions
loss of son
Comments (7)Dear Tango, I'm truly sorry for your loss, nothing can prepare a parent for the loss of a child. Grief is said to be a necessary part of the healing process and of learning to adapt to the new situation. There is an empty space where before there was a living human. We need to adjust to life without that person. Grief may provide a necessary emotional release. Of course, not everyone grieves in exactly the same way. One thing, though, seems to hold true: Repressing your grief can be harmful mentally, emotionally, and physically. Many bereaved ones have found that talking can be a helpful release. Notice, for example, the words of the Bible character Job, who suffered the loss of all ten of his children and endured other tragedies. He said: "My soul certainly feels a loathing toward my life. I will give vent to my concern about myself. I will speak in the bitterness of my soul!" (Job 1:2, 18, 19; 10:1) Notice that Job needed to "give vent" to his concerns. How would he do so? "I will speak," he explained. Not only does the Bible mention Job who lost his ten children but also the example of Jacob who lost his son Joseph, and Naomi who lost her two grown sons. Writing can also be a helpful release. Some who find it difficult to talk about their feelings may find it easier to express themselves in writing. Working through grief takes patience, for you may feel that you are on an emotional roller coaster. The Bible also tells us to: "Draw close to God, and he will draw close to you." (James 4:8) One of the principal ways to draw close to God is through prayer. Do not underestimate its value! The Bible makes this comforting promise: "Jehovah is near to those that are broken at heart; and those who are crushed in spirit he saves." (Psalm 34:18) It also assures us: "Throw your burden upon Jehovah himself, and he himself will sustain you." (Psalm 55:22) Many have found it helpful to talk about their feelings with a trusted friend. Would it not be even more helpful to pour out your feelings to the God who promises to comfort our hearts? The Bible doesn't only acknowledge the grief that parents experience but it also indicates how God gives comfort to those who mourn. My thoughts are with you Tango. *Hugs*...See MoreThe loss of my son.....
Comments (20)Sean's Daddy, We lost our special sons just a couple of weeks apart. My son was 30 and choked to death but he was born with spina bifida and had medical problems his whole life. The doctors stopped putting a timeline on how long he would live and he shocked them all. Lately, for the past 10 years he was healthy and happy and able to work. On the night he died I picked him up from work and we talked about how excited he was that the mall that flooded last year was going to open in just a few short months so he could get back to seeing his friends and being able to roll around and get exercise. He hated working where he was but did so because it kept his job open. At my son's funeral everyone spoke to me about how my son changed their lives by being so nice and happy and generous and always had a smile on his face and made them feel better about whatever they were going through. Your Sean sounds like the same kind of person. You will continue to hear for a long time from people who knew Sean how good he made them feel. Most people see those who are medically unsound, as invalids and yet they prove over and over again that they are not, that they are as capable as anyone else. Especially when it comes to how to deal with the trials and tribulations of life. I do not want to go on without my son here with me, but I know that I have to. I have something to do in his name and that's why he was taken and I was left. It is so unfair that we have to bury our children, especially those who are as special as ours. I cry for my son everyday and will for the rest of my life. He was my everything and I put him before everyone else, he was the air that I breathed and my reason for living. I do not know how I am going to get past today and through tomorrow. I am fortunate enough to be self-employed and able to work when I can and take time for myself when I need to. Please do the same for yourself. It's so hard to wake up in the morning and feel like I am late taking him to work, only to realize he's not here to take to work. At 4:30 in the afternoon I feel the urgency to get in the car and pick him up from work, only to remember he's not at work anymore. On Sundays it's so hard for me to watch football games...I find myself reaching for the phone to see what he thinks about plays and coaches and other things. I have to make myself call my parents' house because the last few months of his life, he answered their phone and I want him to answer, I want to walk through their door and see him sitting at the computer in his underwear where he just rolled out of the bed on his day off. It's so hard, but then I think about how hard it must be for my parents. He lived with them and took care of them for years. What 30 year old would choose to take care of old people instead of whatever it is 30 year olds do now? He was special as was your Sean. They will never be forgotten and will live on in our hearts and minds as well as the hearts and minds of those whose lives they touched. Take one hour at a time, one day at a time, one week at a time. We will make it, but it won't be easy. Take care of yourself....See MoreMy husband doesn't like my adult son.
Comments (20)I am in the same situation. It’s New Years Day and I am lying here depressed. My adult son came to temporarily live with me and my new husband of 2 years about 7 months ago. He asked and my husband said yes. My husband decided not to charge him rent or anything, even told him he can eat what we eat, wash clothes, basically our home is his home. We have a written agreement which we all signed. My son takes out the garbage and cuts grass, clean his room & bathroom. He’s making plans to move back out as agreed. He has savings. Is my son perfect? No, but he is not disrespectful. Other than not walking around the house naked, nothing else has changed in our marital relationship. My husband took it upon himself to step in as a father to my son and even asked my son if that was ok. His biological father…didnt do his job and has no real relationship with him. My husband and son get along fine. However i know my husband is faking it. If my son makes one mistake or forget something, my husband is very critical and judgemental. He complains to me telling lies about my son and says hateful things about my son. i love my husband but this is unacceptable to me. i am beyond hurt and angry. My son doesnt even know how my husband really feels. What brought to this post…my husband thought my son had left and left the door unlocked at 2am. My son was actually outside. Anyway all i literally said was to tell him and immediately he accused me of coming to my son’s defense and starts going off. I am confused. If someone does something wrong or forgot something, isnt the natural thing to do is tell them? What did I say wrong? There is so much more I could say to paint the picture of everything that has gone on. I dont want a divorce but this is too crazy!...See MoreTime with Adult Son
Comments (1)That's beautiful. Even better, time with your son, right?...See Moremcpaul311
7 years agomcpaul311
7 years agojfalcone2003
7 years agojfalcone2003
7 years agomcpaul311
7 years agomcpaul311
7 years agojfalcone2003
7 years agojfalcone2003
7 years agomcpaul311
7 years agomcpaul311
7 years agokarenjoe1967
7 years agomcpaul311
7 years agojfalcone2003
7 years agomcpaul311
7 years agojfalcone2003
7 years agomcpaul311
7 years agomcpaul311
7 years agojfalcone2003
7 years agomcpaul311
7 years agojfalcone2003
7 years agomcpaul311
7 years agomcpaul311
7 years agojfalcone2003
7 years agomcpaul311
7 years agomcpaul311
7 years agojfalcone2003
7 years agojfalcone2003
7 years agomcpaul311
7 years agojfalcone2003
7 years agojfalcone2003
7 years agomcpaul311
7 years agomcpaul311
7 years agojfalcone2003
7 years agomcpaul311
7 years agoCindy Wyman
7 years agokarenjoe1967
7 years agomcpaul311
7 years agojfalcone2003
7 years agolast modified: 7 years agoCindy Wyman
7 years agojfalcone2003
7 years agomcpaul311
7 years agoCindy Wyman
7 years agojfalcone2003
7 years agojfalcone2003
6 years agoMarc RG
6 years agojfalcone2003
6 years agoRonnie Prater
5 years agoUser
5 years ago
Related Stories
COLORWhy My Son’s Room Will Be Red: An Expert Weighs In on Colors for Baby
Historical facts, trend recaps and enthusiastic support for painting your nursery any darn color you like
Full StoryBEDROOMSRoom of the Day: Childhood Bedroom Is Redone for Visiting Son
A couple’s adult son and his new wife now can stay in luxe personalized quarters when they’re in town
Full StoryKIDS’ SPACESThis Designer’s Client Was Her 10-Year-Old Son
What do you give a boy with a too-babyish bedroom when he’s approaching double digits? See for yourself
Full StoryROOM OF THE DAYRoom of the Day: A Bright, Colorful Playroom for Kids and Adults
Fun colors mix with sophisticated furnishings and finishes to create an addition suitable for child’s play and adult relaxation
Full StoryBATHROOM DESIGNRoom of the Day: Kids and Adults Share a Bright 40-Square-Foot Bathroom
Splashes of lime green add a playful touch to this efficient and economical second bath
Full StoryLIFE10 Ways to Work Through Grief Triggers During the Holidays
A year after losing her sister, she was facing another holiday. Here’s how one woman learned to find joy again
Full StoryLIFE10 Ways to Cope With Grief During the Holidays
If you are experiencing loss, take it from an experienced griever — life has changed forever, but it does get better
Full StoryLIFEHow to Prepare for and Live With a Power Outage
When electricity loss puts food, water and heat in jeopardy, don't be in the dark about how to stay as safe and comfortable as possible
Full StoryBEDROOMS8 Youthful Bedrooms That Show Grown-Ups How It's Done
Be a design wild child well past teendom with ideas for adult bedrooms that walk the line
Full StoryKIDS’ SPACESHouzz TV: A Muralist Brings Street Style Home
San Francisco artist Mike Kershnar works the connection between skateboarding and design. See his work on the street and in a kid's room
Full Story
derryw