I've been teary eyed everytime I read a new post. Thank you all for sharing your stories and thus identifing with my sadness. There are parts of our lives that we are never totally prepared for. It helps to link arms with those who have "Been There". Thank you. The doctor has decided that no further Chemo is reccommended. He feels that the COPD (empheseama) may be his ultimate demise anyway, not the lung cancer. My question is "Why didn't you consider that before you put him through Chemo for the lung cancer"??????? He also has diabetese. The steroids had his blood sugar up over 500 for weeks. I think all things needed to be considered before aggressive treatments were started. This has been a very good life lesson for me, AFTER THE FACT. I wanted to share this with you all as well. If you have multiple deseases go to specialist's for each of them before agreeing to fight a new one with chemo. EXample: Your heart doctor may tell you that statistically you have only 3 years to live. So why would you aggressively fight slow growing colon cancer?? There was an article last week on MSN News about this very thing but I do not know how to do links or transfer a link from my favorites list yet. If anybody missed the article and want it, I will try to copy down the web address for you. Susie

I don't have suggestions for your babies, but I do have one for the low area. Consider a Rain Garden. They are environmentally friendly planting areas designed to use flood and roof waters. Native plants used to flood drought cycles are used in low places or in low areas created to contain roof runoff. I have not created my rain garden yet, but it sounds like a great plan for the areas of my yard that flood in the spring. Stage rat is right about checking where the water will go if you fill the area. A house I drive past filled a HUGE flooded depression in their front yard this fall. This winter, it looked like a skating rink across their yard and right into the doorwall of their neighbor's basement. Ouch! Here is a link that might be useful: Rain Gardens for homeowners

My heart aches for you. My Mom has been in nursing care for over 3 years. Didn't plan on it but things happen. There was no way I could continue to care for her, my handicapped brother and my own dd who was 9 at the time. I've watched her get worse mentally even though the issue was always physical before. She has been in a wheelchair for over 7 years and relied on it for 3 years before that to a degree. She has no hip to speak of etc. She is now convinced that I can take her home if she can walk. She has had several falls trying to get out of her chair. Many times when I visit she tries to scoot out of bed. Amazing what they can do when the desire overrides their ability. My oldest brother has been oblivious but in the last couple of months he too has been there more to see more of what actually goes on. I hear similar things like aides being unkind, not eating etc. I know she isn't being mistreated but we all know it's nothing like home. She's 86 now and I've watched the changes. She can't talk well because of a stroke like illness, she can't see because of detached retinas and she can't hear well, is incontinent, the whole nine yards. Up until about 4-6 months ago she got pleasure and peace from her prayers, saying her rosary and watching the news. Now, I don't know that she does any of that. I've rambled on but it's somewhat comforting to know that we aren't alone in our situations and whatever guilt, unhappiness or sadness we feel is normal. Still struggle with it but hopefully it makes us stronger in the end. I hope your family continues their support of you and I wish you peace. Sis

Karen...I'm so sorry to hear about what you've been going through and about the decision of your Dad's care. I can totally relate to all that you said, with feeling so relieved that it was the Doctor who made this decision for 'both of you', having just gone through this with my Dad. As hard as it might be to accept this decision, overall, it's the 'right one'. Dad will receive the Best of Care - you will be able to visit him Daily, in a better frame of mind - both mentally and physically. My Dad...who is THE MOST Difficult and Independent 'Oldster' out there, has accepted that being cared for, by professionals - round the clock - was the best decision. Every now and then he 'riles up' not being able to get 'Back To Things'...but down deep he knows this is best. His facility is just 6 miles between me and his Own House, which makes it so much easier to zip over to both places, for any reason. As heartbreaking as it may be that this is taking place, in time, you will accept that it was a good decision. Heck, I told DH, should my time come for this type of care, I would be only too happy to be cared for in such a wonderful place...and your Dad's place sounds like a great place too. Years from now, you will find comfort in knowing you did ALL and EVERYTHING for your Dad that you possibly could. He's lucky to have such a loving - giving and caring daughter as you. (((((Hugs)))))) & Prayers are with you and your Dad.. jane