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died of an overdose.just too much

Posted by ahope (My Page) on
Tue, Aug 11, 09 at 7:53

Please tell me how long this ache will last. My son in law died of an overdose the day before yesterday and the heartache is sometimes almost unbearable.He was so fragile and too gentle and unequipped to to handle this world. In my heart of hearts I do know that God just loved him enough to take him home and not put him through anymore pain, but The hole that is in me and in the 4 little children he left behind is horrible.
I feel so much guilt. My husband and I were always the ones that he ran to to try to be healed from his addictions .To feel special and loved.He was like a son to us.Me especially. And I want just one more day with him.just one. some of you.. please please tell me how you cope in the beginning stages of this. My anger and pain is so huge right now. Im mad at drugs.Im mad at the hypocrits who Ive seen morn and cry for him now, yet they were the ones using the drugs with him with no intention of stopping him or helping him or just saying no. Im mad that it had to be such a sweet gentle soul who so desperately wanted a good life and who hated the drugs he struggled with,instead of the losers that just dont care .Im mad that my little grandchildren have no daddy! My little grandaughter will never have her daddy walk her down the isle someday. I am crying so hard right now I can barely see to write this. how did you all deal with this stage in the greiving process? Please tell me


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: died of an overdose.just too much

I am so deeply sorry for your loss..

The only real advice I can offer is to say is that the feelings that you own right now are natural, "let yourself feel" If you feel like crying, cry.. If your anger makes you want to scream.. Press your face into a pillow and scream..

I lost my Mom on August 22, 2008.. I cried and cried and then cried some more.. With the tears came people who were telling me to "suck it up".. People who went behind my back to get drugs and alcohol to calm my nerves, knock me out, make me sleep, help me to "not feel" I did not take their drugs.. I did not drink their alcohol.. I simply told them, "I loved Mom with all of my heart.. Just let me feel"

Your grief is intense right now.. You do not have to deny your feelings.. It's ok to cry.. It's ok to feel anger.. It's ok to need to "talk about it"

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.. Bless you all..


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RE: died of an overdose.just too much

ahope,
I'm so very sorry for your loss.
nothing anyone can say at this time will help much.try to think gentle thought of him. alot of us know the pain you are suffering with. and are hearts are breaking for you.
cry when the tears come and do not try to stop them.
I am crying to.
be gentle to yourself. the "guilty" feelings will pass in time.
this was not your fault.
Laura


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