Helping My Brother Cope With His Wife's Death
des_arc_ya_ya
12 years ago
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Comments (11)
marie_ndcal
12 years agogardenspice
12 years agoRelated Discussions
Brother in law's wife driving me nuts
Comments (36)I couldn't say whether the OP's sister-in-law is rude, but judging by the OP's responses to other posters, she could sure use a few hours of charm school. It's not possible to control the direction a thread might take. This is a forum and that means discussion - sometimes people discuss things you'd rather not talk about. Tough noogies! I want my house to feel friendly and I hope my friends and family feel welcome and comfortable. I have nice and new expensive furniture. So what! When you visit me, go ahead and put your feet up on the coffee table, sit back, take a sip of your coffee or wine and let's have a nice chat....See MoreMy brother from another mother and his wedding...
Comments (34)"Should I say something to my brother the groom? Or just keep quiet as to not cause any drama?" Nope...don't say anything. Keep quiet. Let it go. Your poor brother is caught in the middle between his bit** of a mother and siblings that he probably wants to include. Let him enjoy this time without any added stress from a family fight. You and the other siblings should go out to a nice dinner and toast your brothers happiness....See MoreIt isn't just his death
Comments (8)Hi NitePatrol: I'm so sorry of your loss to a careless driver. Do I hate it when people drive and use the cell phone! The worse drivers are the ones with cell phones on their ears. Early death of a husband will happen to all of us. Statistics showed that women outlive men by 7 years. I'm so sad by your grief, NitePatrol, and the only thing that I can say to myself if the same happens to me is, "Be a force of love, so that I can join my husband in heaven." For any loss, there is a gain, if we reach out for it. glad that you reach out, because there are many of us who care and feel for what you are going through. The best I can say is, "NitePatrol, find a gain through this loss. There are many ways: care and provide for yourself, and give yourself what your husband would want to give you right now." We can get through Anything in life if there is a reason behind it. In this senseless situation of life taken away by a boy and his cell phone, it's really hard to find a reason. But there is one: "to be a force of love, gain, and positiveness despite the carelessness, loss, and negativeness of life." NitePatrol: You can't let "Badness" win, you have to overcome it with the goodness inside you to go on loving, and doing good to yourself, no matter how much "Badness" destroyed you. "Badness" here is careless driving, be it drunken, or talking on cell phone. I'm behind you 100%. There's a book, "Hellow from Heaven" which will comfort you. I did an extensive research on Near-Death-Experiences after the deaths of my brother and father. One NDE said, "our sorrow and pain in life is like a grain of sand in the vastness of incredible joy and happiness in heaven" Yes, it's a grain of sand - best to brush it off, and focus on the ocean of relief in heaven where your husband resides. The past only hurts us if we hang on to it....See MoreCoping with Husband's Death
Comments (18)Coping With Grief “All his [Jacob’s] sons and daughters came to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. ‘No,’ he said, ‘in mourning will I go down to the grave to my son.’ So his father wept for him.”�"GENESIS 37:35, The Holy Bible�"New International Version. THE patriarch Jacob grieved deeply over the loss of his son. He expected to grieve until the day he died. Like Jacob, you may feel that the pain of losing a loved one is so deep that it will never go away. Does such intense grief necessarily indicate a lack of faith in God? Definitely not! The Bible portrays Jacob as a man of faith. Along with his grandfather Abraham and his father, Isaac, Jacob is commended for his outstanding faith. (Hebrews 11:8, 9, 13) Why, on one occasion, he even wrestled all night with an angel to get a blessing from God! (Genesis 32:24-30) Evidently, Jacob was a deeply spiritual man. What, then, can we learn from Jacob’s grief? Deep feelings of grief and sorrow when a loved one dies are not incompatible with strong faith in God. Grief is the normal and natural response to the loss of someone we love. What Is Grief? Grief can affect us in various ways, but for many the overriding feeling is one of intense emotional pain. Consider the experience of Leonardo, who was 14 years old when his father suddenly died from cardiorespiratory problems. Leonardo will never forget the day his aunt broke the news to him. At first, he refused to believe that it was true. He saw his father’s body at the funeral, but it all seemed strangely unreal. For about six months, Leonardo was unable to cry. Often, he found himself waiting for his father to come home from work. It took about a year before the full impact of the loss sank in. When it did, he felt terribly alone. Ordinary things�"such as coming home to an empty house�"reminded him of his father’s absence. At such times, he often broke down and cried. How he missed his father! As Leonardo’s experience well illustrates, grief can be intense. The good news is that recovery is possible. However, it may take some time. Just as a severe physical wound takes time to heal, so it is with bereavement. Recovering from grief may take months, a few years, or even longer. But the acute pain you feel in the beginning will lessen in time, and life will gradually seem less bleak and meaningless. In the meantime, grief is said to be a necessary part of the healing process and of learning to adapt to the new situation. There is an empty space where before there was a living human. We need to adjust to life without that person. Grief may provide a necessary emotional release. Of course, not everyone grieves in exactly the same way. One thing, though, seems to hold true: Repressing your grief can be harmful mentally, emotionally, and physically. How, then, can you express your grief in healthy ways? The Bible contains some practical advice. Coping With Grief Talking about your feelings can bring a measure of relief Many bereaved ones have found that talking can be a helpful release. Notice, for example, the words of the Bible character Job, who suffered the loss of all ten of his children and endured other tragedies. He said: “My soul certainly feels a loathing toward my life. I will give vent to my concern about myself. I will speak in the bitterness of my soul!” (Job 1:2, 18, 19; 10:1) Notice that Job needed to “give vent” to his concerns. How would he do so? “I will speak,” he explained. Paulo, who lost his mother, says: “One of the things that has helped me is to talk about my mother.” So talking about your feelings to a trusted friend can bring a measure of relief. (Proverbs 17:17) After losing her mother, Yone asked her Christian brothers to visit her more often. “Talking helped to ease the pain,” she recalls. You too may find that putting your feelings into words and sharing them with a sympathetic listener will make it easier to deal with them. Writing can be helpful in expressing grief Writing can also be a helpful release. Some who find it difficult to talk about their feelings may find it easier to express themselves in writing. Following the death of Saul and Jonathan, the faithful man David wrote a deeply mournful song in which he poured out his sorrow. This emotional dirge eventually became part of the Bible book of Second Samuel.�"2 Samuel 1:17-27. Reading about the resurrection hope can be a real source of comfort Crying may also serve as an emotional release. “For everything there is an appointed time, even . . . a time to weep,” says the Bible. (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4) To be sure, the death of someone we love is “a time to weep.” Tears of grief are nothing to be embarrassed about. The Bible contains many examples of faithful men and women who openly expressed their grief by weeping. (Genesis 23:2; 2 Samuel 1:11, 12) Jesus Christ “gave way to tears” when he neared the tomb of his dear friend Lazarus, who had recently died.�"John 11:33, 35. Working through grief takes patience, for you may feel that you are on an emotional roller coaster. Remember that you do not have to be ashamed of your tears. Many faithful individuals have found that shedding tears of grief is a normal and necessary part of the healing process. Draw Close to God The Bible tells us: “Draw close to God, and he will draw close to you.” (James 4:8) One of the principal ways to draw close to God is through prayer. Do not underestimate its value! The Bible makes this comforting promise: “Jehovah is near to those that are broken at heart; and those who are crushed in spirit he saves.” (Psalm 34:18) It also assures us: “Throw your burden upon Jehovah himself, and he himself will sustain you.” (Psalm 55:22) Think about this. As we noted earlier, many have found it helpful to talk about their feelings with a trusted friend. Would it not be even more helpful to pour out your feelings to the God who promises to comfort our hearts?�"2 Thessalonians 2:16, 17. Paulo, who was mentioned earlier, commented: “When I just couldn’t endure the pain anymore and felt that I could not cope, I would get down on my knees and pray to God. I begged him to help me.” Paulo is convinced that his prayers made a difference. You too may find that in response to your persistent prayers, “the God of all comfort” will give you the courage and the strength to cope.�"2 Corinthians 1:3, 4; Romans 12:12. Here is a link that might be useful: Watchtower: Coping with Grief...See Moreada33r
12 years agodes_arc_ya_ya
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10 years ago
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