Patricia, My Mother died the same exact way as yours. She had been suffering with a stiff neck for a couple of weeks. On Monday (June 4, 2007) she went to the hospital to get it checked. On Wednesday (6th) we found out she had liver cancer. It had spread to her adrenial glands, lungs and into her neck. On Sunday (10th) she was gone. She too went peacefully in her sleep. I know what you went through, she went really fast. Although this is all still new to me, I too feel your pain. Grieving is not easy for me right now. I smelt saukraut (sp?) the other day and thought it was kind of funny as I was driving down the road. I close my eyes and see her smiling face but yet I can not cry. Her services are this coming week end (17th/18th) and she is being buried on my son's (her grandson's) birthday. He is taking it so hard, but there is nothing I can do. I have talked till I was blue in the face and can not gt my brother to budge. I just hope I have the strength to go through this. With God's help we wil get through this. Here is a link that might be useful: Mother's Memorial

I believe that your mom knows how much you love her and how sorry you are. Talk to her now and tell her all you want to tell her. You could even write her a letter with all you want her to know and attach it to helium balloon and let it go. This is a symbolic gesture and many times it is quite healing. You've got to forgive yourself. You know how much your mom loved you and she would not want her daughter to suffer as you are suffering. If you have children, imagine the tables being turned and how you wouldn't want your child to suffer that agony after you are gone. I believe that you will see your mom again. She will be waiting for you with open arms, and you will be together much longer than you have been together here on earth. Try to live the life that she gave you to the fullest and make it a happy life. This will make your mom happy. Please keep in touch and let us know how you are doing. Lu

Hi Patrick, I am so sorry for your loss. I also lost my brother about 3 months ago. He died unexpectedly of a massive heart attack at 48 years old. It has been the worse experience my family has ever gone through. I think I have cried every day since his passing. I have found that talking & crying to my friends has helped a lot. I have been in touch with several of his friends & just hearing about how much he was loved by them really has helped too. I love hearing all the fun times they shared with him. It makes me feel close to him. Maybe you can get in touch with some of your mom's friends that would be willing to share their good times with you. Yes, the tears will come as you listen to the stories, but they will make you feel closer to your mom. I have also found that being able to visit my brother at his gravesite brings some comfort. There are days when I just cry & tell him how much I miss him & other days are ok...no tears...I tell him of things that have been happening. Maybe you can "visit" with her as well. I know how the pain can be unbearable at times & it is un-imaginable thinking about life without our loved ones. I am hoping that time will heal the pain. Going through all the emotional episodes does take it's toll on your mind & body. Try to keep busy, keep in touch with your friends. Most importantly, make sure you get some rest. I was the opposite & shed a few un-necessary pounds. Since my brother died of a heart attack, it has made me more aware about trying to have healthy eating habits. Are your siblings going through the same grieving process as you? I know people grieve differently, maybe trying to talk with them will help too. I wish you the best through this hard journey we all have to face at some point. Please keep in touch. Mary

My Mom was the greatest person, mother, wife in earth. She was the most spiritual, humble, compassionate, beautiful person I¡¦ve ever known. She was my rock, my faith, my comfort and my guidance, I feel as if I am lost in limbo without her. She had such a story, she was the oldest girl of 13 Children, and she raised her brothers and sisters while her parents ran the bar they owned across from Leavenworth Prison. When she wasn¡¦t doing that she was working in the bar. It made her who she was; she never drank, smoked or swore. She gave my Dad 40 years of her life. She lost her first born child when she was only 23. My brother Todd died of cancer when he was only 2, but yet she had the strength and courage to have 2 more children. I had told her so many times that I did not know how she could overcome that. With him being my only child at the time, I think I would have had to lie down and die beside him. She went head to head with a few Demons¡Kreal ones¡Kand a couple of my boyfriends, and let me tell you she was not afraid to tell them where to go. º My heart has been broken ever since January 5, 2005 when she was diagnosed she was given 6 months to 1 year, but she fought like hell for 1 year AND 6 six months. I am so grateful for all of the extra time that we were given. When she was told of this horrible news, she refused it, would not accept it. As did my Dad, my Sister and I. How could someone so full of life, someone whose eyes sparkled so bright be given this terrible burden? It wasn¡¦t fair, but even then she was teaching us something. She was so brave and never once did she let her faith fall. I spent every moment I could with her, every lunch hour, anytime Dad needed a break, to cook, didn¡¦t matter what I was there! I just wanted to soak her all in, time was running out. Mom grew weaker, the pain intensified, and she had so much confusion from all the meds and so came the need for her to have someone by her side 24/7. I basically moved back ¡§home¡¨ for the last month to help Dad. My sister was called and was also told to come ¡§home¡¨, time was running short. It was not until this time that she actually gave up, ¡§I want you to know that I can¡¦t fight this anymore, I am tired and I have decided to give up. I want you to know that you girls are the light of my life and I love you¡¨. And I told her that we understood, we would be ok and there was a little boy waiting for her and now it is his turn, we had kept her long enough. I thanked her for showing me the kind of person I wanted to grow to be and let her know how much I loved her And a few days later she was gone, I was there with her and holding her hand at that very moment. She was only 59¡Kand I am 29¡KI still need my mom. She once was the greatest person, Wife and Mother on earth and now she is the most beautiful of all the Angels in heaven. My Sister will be here for the Thanksgiving holiday and we have decided that it is time to start going through her things. Deciding how we are going to divide her art, and all her possessions that meant so much to her. What to do with her clothes, her shoes, her books. Call me crazy but I always hope that something from her will show up somewhere, she was the type to tuck little notes away that you would end up finding. I look for her all the time in my dreams; I could sit in pure silence for hours waiting to her voice. I miss her so much; I thought this was to get easier as time passes? Just when I feel that I am up on my feet, they get knocked out from underneath me. How do I deal? What about this hole I feel in my chest? I too hate the cemetery, to see her and my brothers granite stones laying side by side just rips me apart, I never go and I do feel guilty about that, but I don¡¦t feel that is where is ¡§she¡¨ is. June was the month we lost her, to be precise¡KJune 29th, 2006 11:13 am. I hate this month¡Kand I hate that day even worse.