I don't care what anybody says (not really, just on this subject!), I've observed this for YEARS, I tells ya, since I was a little kid, and the north side of my houses and yards, and parking garages, and my friends' houses and the grocery stores, in late June and July, the sun goes further north than straight up over us! Even if a building faces dead-straight due north. Of course, this is the wrong time of year to go out and observe it, but you just watch next summer. That's MY story, and I'm sticking with it, PC! Even amid the slings and arrows and dirt clods...

Greetings, Kevin's sister, I am very sorry that you have lost your brother, and that it happened as it did. My Mom got sick when I was about 6, and died (in psych. hosp.) when I was 13: I was the one who got the call, and I remember going to tell my Dad (who was pallbearer at the funeral of a friend, that afternoon). For many, our teen years are times of uncertainty and tumult, of coming to terms with others and the world and learning how to navigate in it. It's quite troubling for many to have such a hugely upsetting experience take place to add more complications to those already troubling issues. When we're young, we figure that we're indestructible, and when we're inexperienced, driving is especially risky, even in cars, but it works O.K. for many - but some are grievously injured and some have their lives here taken away completely. For young people it's especially dangerous to be travelling on motorcycles, which are much more unforgiving of minor errors than are cars ... and the consequences are much more serious of being in a motorcycle accident. Did you see him after his death? I remember my sister-in-law saying, after her husband's death, under 40, with teen-aged kids, that she couldn't believe that he was gone. I don't know whether she saw him after his auto accident - I think that her sister's husband identified him. It took her a while to get used to it. The library is about to close, so I must close for now, but will come back to talk further when I can. ole joyful - but not so joyful when friends are hurting ... or folks at a distance, either, for that matter ... especially when it still hurts so much after three years

My Mom was the greatest person, mother, wife in earth. She was the most spiritual, humble, compassionate, beautiful person I¡¦ve ever known. She was my rock, my faith, my comfort and my guidance, I feel as if I am lost in limbo without her. She had such a story, she was the oldest girl of 13 Children, and she raised her brothers and sisters while her parents ran the bar they owned across from Leavenworth Prison. When she wasn¡¦t doing that she was working in the bar. It made her who she was; she never drank, smoked or swore. She gave my Dad 40 years of her life. She lost her first born child when she was only 23. My brother Todd died of cancer when he was only 2, but yet she had the strength and courage to have 2 more children. I had told her so many times that I did not know how she could overcome that. With him being my only child at the time, I think I would have had to lie down and die beside him. She went head to head with a few Demons¡Kreal ones¡Kand a couple of my boyfriends, and let me tell you she was not afraid to tell them where to go. º My heart has been broken ever since January 5, 2005 when she was diagnosed she was given 6 months to 1 year, but she fought like hell for 1 year AND 6 six months. I am so grateful for all of the extra time that we were given. When she was told of this horrible news, she refused it, would not accept it. As did my Dad, my Sister and I. How could someone so full of life, someone whose eyes sparkled so bright be given this terrible burden? It wasn¡¦t fair, but even then she was teaching us something. She was so brave and never once did she let her faith fall. I spent every moment I could with her, every lunch hour, anytime Dad needed a break, to cook, didn¡¦t matter what I was there! I just wanted to soak her all in, time was running out. Mom grew weaker, the pain intensified, and she had so much confusion from all the meds and so came the need for her to have someone by her side 24/7. I basically moved back ¡§home¡¨ for the last month to help Dad. My sister was called and was also told to come ¡§home¡¨, time was running short. It was not until this time that she actually gave up, ¡§I want you to know that I can¡¦t fight this anymore, I am tired and I have decided to give up. I want you to know that you girls are the light of my life and I love you¡¨. And I told her that we understood, we would be ok and there was a little boy waiting for her and now it is his turn, we had kept her long enough. I thanked her for showing me the kind of person I wanted to grow to be and let her know how much I loved her And a few days later she was gone, I was there with her and holding her hand at that very moment. She was only 59¡Kand I am 29¡KI still need my mom. She once was the greatest person, Wife and Mother on earth and now she is the most beautiful of all the Angels in heaven. My Sister will be here for the Thanksgiving holiday and we have decided that it is time to start going through her things. Deciding how we are going to divide her art, and all her possessions that meant so much to her. What to do with her clothes, her shoes, her books. Call me crazy but I always hope that something from her will show up somewhere, she was the type to tuck little notes away that you would end up finding. I look for her all the time in my dreams; I could sit in pure silence for hours waiting to her voice. I miss her so much; I thought this was to get easier as time passes? Just when I feel that I am up on my feet, they get knocked out from underneath me. How do I deal? What about this hole I feel in my chest? I too hate the cemetery, to see her and my brothers granite stones laying side by side just rips me apart, I never go and I do feel guilty about that, but I don¡¦t feel that is where is ¡§she¡¨ is. June was the month we lost her, to be precise¡KJune 29th, 2006 11:13 am. I hate this month¡Kand I hate that day even worse.

Hello, music teacher! It seems that there is a lot of this going around - custodial Dads that dump a large portion of raising of their (ill-behaved) kids onto SM's, but try to curtail the SM's authority. The good news is that, yes, there is a chance of it changing, but you've got to get DH on board. My suggestion is family counseling if you can, but if not, then try the DIY approach. First make a list of a few behaviors of SD that drive you stark raving mad; maybe lying, not cleaning up after herself, whatever, and try to tackle those first. Sit down with DH sometime when you are both feeling fairly calm (not after a blow-up with SD; DH will be feeling defensive and will want to take "her side"). Then have The Conversation - the one where you explain that you have no intention on being a long-term unpaid babysitter with no authority, and if that is DH's goal that you will opt out and he can make alternative child care arrangements. If DH does not trust you to enforce agreed-upon rules than he has no business trusting you to watch his child at all. (Perhaps a bit more tactful phrasing would be helpful - perhaps not!) Then try to work on some agreed-upon rules and penalties or consequences. It was much easier for DH to deal in the abstract, ahead of time, and agree that lying is wrong, for example, then at the actual moment of truth - he tended to wimp out and start making excuses for SS. Now you've got some back-up, so to speak, and can gently remind DH that whatever consequences are being enforced are something that he agreed to. What you want is for DH to realize that you are only enforcing rules that he decided on, and thus breaking them is a violation of his authority. Start small. If a few rules are consistently enforced and SD's behavior starts to improve at all, it will be much easier to work on additional changes at that time. Remember that if DH is used to a mentally ill ex, one of his concerns may well be random, arbitrary "rules" from the ex. That's why it's so important that he decide on rules and consequences; and you are just enforcing them when he is not home to do so. Also, I have found that DH was more likely to listen when I calmly explained why I was concerned about how certain behaviors would affect SS's future. To me it seems pretty obvious that (deliberate) lying, for example, is a very poor habit to form - but DH sometimes seemed to think that he'd just "grow out of" bad behaviors (like magic!) The thing with the presents from the aunt is a great example; that sort of behavior will undeniably adversely affect her (God know that'd be the last present I would be buying for her!)