I have had no experience with Funeral Depot - sorry. Do you know whether your mother has negative feelings about the idea of cremation, or do you or others in your family whom your Mom might be reluctant to cause to be unhappy? The urn is much less expensive that a coffin. Plus the area that is needed for commital in a cemetery is much smaller. Are you quite certain that your family will need a locastion in a cemetery in your area for quite a number of years, and how many spaces to anticipate needing? The folks at a local cemetery say that each traditional plot will accomodate one coffin and two urns, buried above the coffin. In our area, we are told that if one decides that one does not need some plots any more, they have only one potential buyer, the cemetery itself, and there is only one price available, that which the current owner had paid in the first place - long ago, before i nflation.. I understand that my old great aunt, who died in 1940, owned a piece of land that she sold to a group to build a cemetery, for whatever amount of cash and she became the holder of 20 plots in the cemetery. On her death, she bequeathed them to her brother, who had been crippled by polio and had lived with her, which was convenient for them both, as she'd never married and was rather poor, I think. On Uncle's death, he bequeathed them to my father, who'd moved a couple of thousand miles away in 1946, and they were registered in Dad's name in 1959 ... at a value of zero dollars, they tell me. Dad told me years ago that if I wanted to give some money to the cemetery, I could have the plots, but I declined. So now they tell me that I can have whomever that I choose buried there, but I can only dispose of the plots by "selling" them back to the cemetery, at the listed value ... which is Zero Dollars per plot for each of the twenty. This appears to be a system set in place by the provincial government. My brother says that he sees where a number of people in this province are offering a number of cemetery plots for public sale, at varying prices which it appears that they are choosing. Almost certainly the rules governing cemetery plots in your jurisdiction will be different, but I'd suggest that you examine the rules governing them rather thoroughly. I hope that, whatever choice your Mom makes, that you all are pleased with it over a nmber of years. ole joyful

I, too, hate going to funerals but it is a necessary thing sometimes. When my wonderful father-in-law died we had so many people tell us they could tell we were a happy family by the laughter when the came to the viewing. My father-in-in-law was a happy man. We celebrated his life. When my oldest sister died 4 years ago we had so many people tell us wonderful things about her. She lived in a very small town. She loved the library. She was cripled up with Arty and her husband picked up books for her. The ladies kept track of what she had read and picked out books they knew she would love. By the time it was all said and done people had donated almost $10,000 dollars to the library in her memory. betty would have loved this. When I sent out my thank you notes I included a letter highlighting Betty life. She was always the first one to deliver food and send out thank yous and all to so many people. She fought so hard to stay alive but her body just simply gave out. She was at home and when we knew the time was near I packed my bags and told my hubby I would not be home when it was over. I am so glad I made the decision. It was sad but a wonderful time to share with her. she talked to all of us until about the last hour.. I miss her so.. Susie

Publisher is a great program for setting up a simple brochure like this. My aunt's funeral had brochures done by a cousin and her kids (I think). They weren't the best because the ones doing it didn't really care that much. I've seen some done by relatives/friends that looked great. In fact a couple looked much better than the "professionally" printed ones at other funerals. Much depends on how much you've worked with it, the quality of the pictures (when used) and how much you care. But as I said, having Publisher is a big help. And frankly, even the ones for my aunt? Hey, no big deal. One event for one day and most of them wind up in the trash anyway. And I know my aunt wouldn't have cared, she'd have been quite flattered that people wanted to do this for her anyway. Glad to hear you're having them printed. I was going to suggest that. A good clean copier will do a nice job and you can even do color copies on it that look great. Too late now I imagine but another option would have been to print the lyrics on a separate 1/2 sheet (2-up for printing) and insert it if there were other things you wanted on the flyer. But I'm sure it's going to look great. Condolences on the loss and hope all goes well.

Nnanatricia, the idea of sending stamps is wonderful! I'm keeping that one in mind for the future. Death is a personal thing and each person's family likes certain things and dislikes certain things. To me it should be based on the decedent's wishes. For instance, my mother loved flowers. Any gift of flowers made her week, or month. To not have an overkill (excuse the phrase) on flowers at her funeral would have been a shame. We ordered 2 large pots plus the casket spray and knew that there'd be a lot of flowers coming, which they did. Turns out the funeral director also owned the flower shop he could "get a discount through" and not only charged us more, but gave us about 1/3 the size it was supposed to be. Needless to say we weren't happy. Then shortly after my aunt died, (my mother's only sister) and I immediately ordered a large arrangement for her. At the last second my sister and I decided to fly down for the funeral. No flowers from us. My uncle was going, oh you didn't have to, you're not expected to, and all that, but I said, no, I PAID for this and they were supposed to be here! That's the point. I was very embarrassed. This was a big flower outfit and surprised me they did this. They claimed they tried to get a hold of me, no message, hmmm. Then said they'd send something to the house afterward. But I'm getting off the point. If you're in a financial bind, you should NOT stress yourself more. Send a card with a note about a memory or something your mother said about the departed. That'll have far more value than the flowers in most cases. I'm also a little sensitive about sending flowers since some churches are now requiring people to leave the flowers for them! I was shocked when I first heard this! But it's happened a few times. That did it for me. No more flowers. Another thing you could do if you wanted, and when financial times are better is send something to the grave for Memorial Day or her birthday or something. That could be thoughtful. I don't think expectations are appropriate for memorials at funerals. It's up to the giver what, if anything they wish to do and more importantly, can afford. Don't try to keep up with the Jones'. I say go with a card and a kind word. And FWIW, if you are thinking of a plant for later, or a tree that the recipient is expected to plant and maintain, make sure it's wanted before you give it. Not everyone likes plants and the trouble to maintain them. Some, especially if they are alone, might leave for a while and who will care for them? Think before you give something just because *you* like it. I don't know many people who don't like or can't use cash! And make it cash (or a check to them) not a gift card! And for donations, I think the person donating should make the donation and tell the family. It was a lot of time, effort and stress for my father to deal with the number of checks and stuff sent to him, one is to be given to Ladies' Auxiliary (who handled the funeral food), another to Diabetes Research, another to Cancer Society, another to the in-town church, another to the church where she was buried etc. Sheesh! He insisted it be done right away. I said put it in a box and we'll do it in a couple weeks after things settled down but of course his feeling was it had to be done immediately.