Thanks! Anyone who ever met him instantly loved him....his gift of humor was incredible....any party I ever have (and you all know theres alot) you here a burst of laughter from a crowd and needless to say he'd be in the middle of the crowd telling a story. At the wake everyone who came in mentioned how funny he was many were crying then theyd think of something funny he said to them or story he told them and theyd start laughing while crying...amazing man!

Viola Sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my dad 10 months ago. He was 68 and I was 34. I think the same way that you are. It will be hard to go through life for the next 30-40 years without dad. My dad helped me out with watching my kids while I worked. He was such a great dad. I miss him horribly. Everything you are feeling is normal. It doesnt seem fair and at times the sorrow cuts like a knife deep inside my heart. Then I get so mad that he died. I guess all these feelings are normal. Your life will never be the same again, something just changes when you lose someone you love. When I lost my dad I felt so alone and realized wow its really time to grow up now because when mom and dad are still here, a part of you stays there little girl. There is no easy answer. Just try to keep yourself busy and cry when you need to. Talking to other people who are going through similiar thing helps me. I dont like going around people who still have there parents. I guess I am jealous, not sure,. In the end we will be reunited again. My prayers are coming your way. Keep posting

I agree! Its a mighty special Dad to even think of it, much less DO it! None of the guys I know would do that.

It was chocolate with homemade (not by me of course) vanilla frosting with exactly 12 chocolate sprinkles. Then I had the strawberry one as well buy failed to count the sprinkles as I felt too stressed at the time. I had two because the first one did not do the trick. PO1 I have no desire to add to my stressful life by contacting my dad's other children. We were not raised together. Maybe it isn't their fault but their biological mother locked me and my brother in a closet for days during our visits to my dad's. I was 8 the last time I let her close and lock the door on me. So no thanks. I have no need for reuniting and reliving the horror I sustained while my dad was married to their mother. I'm sure she abused them as well but they did move away with her and have continued to stay in the same area as her so I bet there is some loyalty to her, she is their mother. I know where they are. My sister keeps in touch with them. My sister and I are so different. She is best friends to this day with a girl who stole her bike, pushed her in the street and beat her face in. That girl would be no where near my face after that attack but my sister is forgiving. The same reason she tolerates my dad's inability to commit to being her father for longer than a week after 40 yrs. What surprises me is that she was 13 when he left and so she was very effected by it but she just has this need to know all of her blood biological relatives. The same way that she is attached to antiques and old pictures. I honestly don't care for the junk. I have no attachment to blood ties - maybe because I am 100% effected by being raised and loved by people who are not blood related to me. I have an entire family of non blood related people through my stepdad. My sister is not close to them because she was older but I was still in diapers. I don't feel the need to go off and find all of my dad's offspring. I'm sure there are more out there. He is good at reproducing. I just feel no attachment to them. Maybe I am weird but I just feel nothing. One half brother is dying. He has aids. He doesn't take care of himself. He prostetutes.. Why would I want to even say I'm related to someone that is possibly spreading a disease because he is ignorant and angry? I have NO desire. I dont care to know the other one either. The one time I did talk to him, he told me he remembered that I stole his toys. I was 5! He was still holding it against me. I had to steal something otherwise I was locked in a closet or not fed. I needed something to draw attention to myself! I have overcome that abuse. It never really defined me. I never really had issues. I was a great kid. So was my brother. My brother went on to serve our country freely and proudly for the last 17 years. So proud of him! We both overcame it and although I know it wasn't their fault what happened, I just don't want to bring that back in to my life. As far as my dad, I just don't know what I want right now. I considered writing him a letter and just calling it the end. No more contact. Move on. But the other part of me is scared I'll need his kidney one day. Actually that was a joke. I think putting it in writing makes it final. I don't want to hurt my dad. I don't want my words to burn into his eyeballs but I'm certain I just don't want a relationship with him. I just don't know if I want or need to tell him. I have nothing to get off my chest. I have told him all of the things I am sharing with you all, already. He knows it all and all he can do is say I'm sorry, again. I don't want him to say I am sorry. I know he is. I just have no interest. Do you think I'll change my mind as I get older? Not sure. JMT for the record, I agree with you 100%. I already said that and I don't think you need my approval but I completely get what you are saying. A bio parent that gives their child up for adoption is no more a deadbeat than a man who gave up his rights for the same reasons. Just because you both didn't give your child up doesn't change the circumstances. Maybe it would be different to PO1 if you BOTH gave the child up for adoption. Then you are selfless and did what was best for the child. For some reason we as a society say that because MOM kept the baby then dad should have to keep the baby too. But you have opened my eyes to that just isn't how it is nor should it be. I would probably have been so much better off had my dad just walked away and never looked back. Instead he wanted to drag us around to each girlfriend/new wife he had where I sustained abuse and guess what... Dad wasn't home anyway. He was always at work.