Feeling guilty because I miss my dog-Part 2
kms4me
12 years ago
Featured Answer
Sort by:Oldest
Comments (102)
kms4me
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoBurtsmomforever
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
I feel guilty just thinking about it -- HELP!
Comments (18)Now that I'm feeling less guilty about the planned shrub removal.... What's the best removal method? According to my mother (who coincidentally recently saw a PBS program that covered this topic) the best method is to use a truck and tow chain because digging won't remove enough of the roots. The truck isn't a problem: I have a 4wd 1/2 ton -- and access to bigger vehicles if necessary. I'm sure I can borrow a tow chain. (Probably the most difficult part of planning the extraction will be avoiding having the truck keys end up in the hands of anyone with a "y" chromosome. I can just see the whole thing ending as a nightmare version of "Home Improvement.") Any other suggestions for getting rid of older, overgrown yews? If I pull them out, should I saturate the ground first? Any cautions? (I've been towing horse trailers for years, so on the pulling part I'm ok.) Lorree...See MoreI miss my dog!
Comments (14)I am so sorry for your loss!! Like so many others on this post, I too have recently lost a very beloved pet----my wonderful, loving cat, Taf! He was two when we rescued him (a neighbor no longer wanted him and was going to "dump" him at our local landfill---a place some low-lifes dump their unwanted cats) and he recently died of cancer complications at 14 years of age. I can't tell you how painful that was, even though we knew it was coming since he was diagnosed with cancer two years ago and has been treated with chemo and other meds for the two years since. Even expecting it as he went down-hill the weeks before his death, I cried and cried and the whole day after his death I felt such guilt wondering if I should have done more for him at the end. I was sobbing so bad that whole day that my eyes were swollen by the end of the day. You see, some people feel guilt because they brought their pets to the vet to euthanize them, but I had such guilt because I did not do that in a timely manner! My little guy HATED going to the vet especially after spending three days at our regional animal hospital center two years ago when we tried to find out what was wrong with him and his cancer diagnosis was the result. After that, even just going to our regular vet for frequent progress check-ups caused him so much stress and unhappiness. So---not wanting to cause him any more stress than possible, I kept putting off taking him in to be euthanized even though I knew he was dying that last day. By late night, I realized just how very sick he was and it was then, when it was too late to bring him in, that I realized he was possibly in pain---hard to determine initially because of how cats do hide their pain. By the very early morning hours of the next day, he had passed away here at home. On the one hand, I was thankful he did die on his soft, comfortable bed in the home he loved but on the other hand, I feel so awful to think that he suffered at the end because I dreaded (for both him and me) bringing him to the vet a good 12 hours before he passed away, when I probably should have. It has been 6 weeks and it is still so painful when I think of it. And I still miss him so much. The only thing that gives me peace when he first passed away and even now, is just knowing in my heart that he is in a happier place, running and playing and comfortable and happy. I do believe in my heart that our beloved animal buddies have a spirit, like we do, in our physical bodies (note how we all have that essence, that special personality that makes us all different from even our own brothers and sisters) and even though the physical body may cease, the spirit always lives on in a different place. I also believe in my heart that the God that I pray to is a loving and kind God and His love extends to every living thing----how could He not provide for the spirit to continue on of the loving and sweet companion animals we all love. I realize others might feel differently, but I know that this gives me great peace. The other thing that gives me peace is knowing that if we had not rescued him twelve years ago, he would likely have had a horrible life. He had a loving, comfortable and happy life with us for 12 years. Again, I extend my sympathy and hope that you can think of the good life you gave your beloved dog and find peace in that. I do believe that as time goes on, it becomes less painful even though we will never forget them!...See MoreFeeling guilty....
Comments (9)Thanks everyone. Every single one of you had something to say that really spoke to me and you had some good ideas, too. You are the best! It helps immensely just that other people can see a *reason* for my feelings. I have tried to talk to DH about it and he gets defensive/angry. He just tells me "well, you have to separate SS from BM" and I do, as best I can....but it's like DH cannot see that the last 5+ years have CREATED the situation we have now. It is tough because when SS's with BM we don't hear much from her and things are peaceful. When SS is with US, though, it's like she calls all the time and I feel like we've got a third person in our marriage. A lot of it is DH, too. DH went through a guilty phase when we first lived together. He would NEVER do anything w/DD when SS wasn't with us. I can understand that. But it was to the point where he expected me to find a babysitter for her on weekends that SS wasn't with us....DH was so USED to parenting 50% of the time, and it took him a good year to warm up to being a parent to DD all the time. I used to REALLY resent him for that---it hurt my feelings. In the beginning, when SS wasn't with him, he'd go out w/the boys and I'd be home with DD. We would only do "fun, family activities" when SS was with us. That made me in a twisted way resent SS's presence---I felt like DH only valued time with his son. I felt like he expected DD to sit on a shelf while SS was with his mom, but then when SS was with us, DH would be all attentive and we'd pack the weekend with trips to the pumpkin patch, the park, the zoo, etc. Anyway, this is all 3 years ago and I need to move past it. For the last 2+ years, DH has been GREAT. He is super close to DD and he has gotten past all his guilt about having her with us all the time. I can say he truly loves her as his own. We plan "bigger" activities for when SS is with us---for example, we will all go to the pumpkin patch this weekend---but DH and I do things w/DD, too, like take her to the park, go out to breakfast, etc. DH spends time alone w/DD, too, and she loves what she calls "father/daughter" time. But then that makes me feel MORE guilty at times because DH's relationship with DD is WAY BETTER than mine with SS. BUT that is comparing apples to oranges. DD doesn't HAVE a dad. DH IS her dad now. DD is with us 100% of the time. DH is not really a "step-parent" to her. He gets to go to fathers' things at her school, she calls him "daddy," he goes to parent/teacher conferences w/me, volunteers at her school, etc. HE IS DAD TO HER. SS HAS a mom. I will never be in that role for him. So it is very different. Then I think it's extra hard because with DD and SS both being the SAME age (they are 6 wks apart) I have a side by side comparison. I know how I feel about DD and given that SS is the same age, it makes it clearer to me that I don't feel that way about him. If he were a different age than DD, I might be able to relate to him in a different way and that would help make define my relationship with him in a special way. Does that make any sense?...See MoreMy little dog died 9 days ago. I feel guilty and very sad.
Comments (14)Hello everybody, Unfortunately, I am having a relapse triggered by a family fight I had today. As I mentioned in my first post, my relationship with my mom is not good and she is very disrispectful with my stuff and has thrown away very special things to me. Things that I really treasured. Today, I picked up a carped that my mom had removed almost a year ago. She wanted to throw it away, but the carpet was in good condition and I liked it, so I took it to a place to have it washed and storaged. Today I finally got it back home and put it behind a wall in my living room. It was well hidden and it wasn't taking too much room. My mom saw it and started acting like crazy and told me she was going to throw it away tomorrow. I got angry and she started telling me that I had my stuff all over the house, which is not true, and then mentioned that the fact I put my little dog's stuff, like his plate and little bones in the laundry room was a problem for her to. This made me get very angry and I went down the stairs because I wanted to make sure my dog's stuff were safe. suddenly, my uncle, who was at home for a visit, stood up and got between me and my mother because according to him he thought I was going to hit my mom, which is a terrible lie. He dared me to fight and I told him I was not going to accept his attitude in my house. Then he asked me to go outside and I said: OK. Let's go. Next, my brother showed up and my mom to avoid the fight. Then my brother told me he didn't want to fight because he was much heavier than me and that it was going to be easy for him. I said: Come on, let0's do it. And he refused it and said he loved me. Ever since my parents divorced he has interfered in many of my family's issues that are not concer of his and sometimes he has tried to act like the man of the house. Today was the last straw and made me lose my mind. He has brainwashed my mom several times, my mom almost always does what he tells her to do and of course, he usually takes my moms side. All this conflict made me have a psychiological crisis and miss my little dog a lot since I feel very alone again and I have no friend and partner at home to rely on. I really didn't need this since I was starting to feel better about the loss of my beautiful Guyton, to heal, to rearrange my life without suffering too much and feel more peace. On top of that, my Psychiatrist took the liberty to show my mom and my brother my diagnosis file after a visit my mom and my brother made to his office, which was a terrible violation to my privacy and to the confidentiality respect Mental professionals have to have. It's the most basic and important rule. Now, my mom is using this as a weapon and threatening me to send me to a mental hospital because my Psychiatrist also told her and my brother she could do that. It is just unbelievable. He betrayed me and put me in a very difficult position. Specially now that I am trying to overcome the death of my little dog and my mind is unstable. It just looks he also took my brother's and mom's side and they are their patiens not me. Now I am missing Guyton a lot again and their loss became bigger again too. I am lost and sad again. I really hope you can reply to me. Thank you very much in advance for your help and kindness...See MoreLisa7112
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agokms4me
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoataraxylost
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agokms4me
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agohellokitty525
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoataraxylost
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agohellokitty525
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agolovingmemory
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoNicoleRB
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agokms4me
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoNicoleRB
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoMissingmyboy
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoleebart
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agokms4me
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoMissingMyPal
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agokms4me
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoMissingMyPal
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agojannie
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoMissingMyLilBoy
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agodebcom
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agodebcom
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agokms4me
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agokms4me
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agodebcom
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agodebcom
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agodebcom
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agodebcom
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoMelissa8590
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoleavesandpetals
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agokms4me
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agokms4me
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoEugenee
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoJLM188
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoLost2
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoLost2
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoMissingMyLilBoy
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agokms4me
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agokms4me
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoblair411
10 years agolast modified: 9 years agosylviatexas1
10 years agolast modified: 9 years agoDebbie Downer
10 years agolast modified: 9 years agokms4me
10 years agolast modified: 9 years agokms4me
10 years agolast modified: 9 years agobobbyprior
9 years agolast modified: 9 years agoManley21
9 years agolast modified: 9 years agosylviatexas1
9 years agolast modified: 9 years agoramyjoy3
8 years agolast modified: 8 years agoramyjoy3
8 years ago
Related Stories
LIFETime Travel to Houzzers' Childhood Homes, Part 2
Catch a glimpse of kit houses, bungalows, Tudors and more just as they were way back when — and listen in on the intriguing personal stories
Full StoryHOLIDAYSGuys, Where Do You Feel Most at Home?
For Father’s Day, we’d like to hear from the men. What part of your house makes you feel most like yourself — grounded and alive?
Full StoryREMODELING GUIDES10 Features That May Be Missing From Your Plan
Pay attention to the details on these items to get exactly what you want while staying within budget
Full StoryLIFETime Travel to Houzzers' Childhood Homes, Part 1
Peek into home design's past and share the memories of Houzz community members with these personal photos and stories
Full StoryLANDSCAPE DESIGNHow to Choose a Fence That Feels Right and Works Hard
Making a thoughtful fencing choice now can create happiness for years to come
Full StoryLIFEHouzz Call: What Makes Your House Feel Like Home?
Sometimes just one thing gives you that warm and fuzzy feeling. Let us know what it is for you
Full StoryDECORATING GUIDESFeel Free to Break Some Decorating Rules
Ditch the dogma about color, style and matching, and watch your rooms come alive
Full StoryDECORATING GUIDESHouzz Call: What Home Collections Help You Feel Like a Kid Again?
Whether candy dispensers bring back sweet memories or toys take you back to childhood, we'd like to see your youthful collections
Full StoryPETSGood Dog! Cute Pooches at Home
The dogs of Houzz take you on a tour of their homes and show you where they lounge, eat, play, bathe and nap
Full StorySponsored
raeloss