skip to main content

I was doing so well....

16 years ago

For a few weeks I was doing so well, I only cried myself to sleep about once a week but this past seven or eight days I just can't stop crying the minute I am alone.I cry all the way home from work. It was seven months on 23rd and I started thinking it is past 1/2 a year that I haven't seen him or touched him, and I never will again. In the back of my head somewhere I think I thought this nightmare would come to an end and everything would be OK again, he would come home and we would get back to our life.I hate this!!!! I am not brave and it is so hard too be strong, but I will because I promised him.

I hope you guys don't mind me crying on your shoulder, I don't call our girls because they are having their own hard time and I am suposed to be the Mom and be there for them (that's me talking, not them).

Goodnight and God Bless, Mavis

Comments (7)

ladonna
16 years ago
(((((((((((hugs)))))))))) Its been 2 yrs this month since I lost my mom unexpectantly, all I can say is with time, it will get easier. I still at times, when I least expect it I cry. Please know that your among people here that care deeply, and will be here for you, when you need to talk.
mav63_2007
Original Author
16 years ago
Thank you ladonna, I needed that.
Mavis
Related Discussions
One webpage with all the info a semi-newbie would need?
Q
Comments (13)
I love to sleep late and have sex at least twice a day. but I never get any of this. Trials and errors are the best teacher. As some suggested you can google the information you need but the danger the information is so contradicting each other it will confuse you more. For example the link for growing pepper above gets you to Ohio State U. They say in growing pepper use 12-12-12 fertilizer or one with high nitrogen content. From my experience gained by trial and errors high nitrogen content will give huge green plant and no or little fruit and the nitrogen number has to be the lowest. Did I say confusing it is.
...See More
No Digital Camera? Use your scanner!
Q
Comments (2)
It was a NoID from the supermarket...I just thought it was so pretty! Darned thing held in there until I decided to love it to death by overwatering a self watering plastic pot! :-) See, I saw all these buds forming...well you know the story! minibot
...See More
I was doing so well...I had a plan...back to the drawing board
Q
Comments (10)
The best laid plans of mice and men...it's happened to all of us, lol! I learned early on when gardening with my Mom that plans are only good on paper and never in the garden! Something always happens to change them. I have a huge diagram of my beds on graph paper, supposedly to scale, that is so far off now that I'd have to trash it and start over to make it even remotely resemble what's really out there. Color scheme, HA! Not a chance. During my rampant acquisition years that went quickly out the window. It was more, "now where the heck can I squeeze this one in?", than, "where would it look best or fit in with the colors". But you know what, it doesn't matter. I love my garden in all it's riotous jumble of colors and shapes and sizes!
...See More
Its DFrench200's fault !
Q
Comments (13)
Okay, I can truthfully say it is Leafwatcher's fault.I sent in a short order to Naylors today and I still have a load ot get inpots or the ground. But then I saw lw's post and saw H. Powder Keg and Holy Crow it is gorgeous! So now I have to go looking for it!! Does this madness never stop?In my defense I have to say I lost a few and they were favorites and I had to replace them (of course)!I do get into alot of trouble on this machine. And you folks are such enablers and I am so weak and these beautiful plants are so addictive and and I have lots of room!!
...See More
doc8404
16 years ago
Mavis - hang in there. I know what you mean, I had a tough week too and I haven't had a horrible one for a while. I get weepy at the oddest times and as you know, you just can't help it.

I disagree with you on one thing though. You are brave. Just to post here requires a mental toughness so please don't be too hard on yourself.

Prayers to you,
Doc
loagiehoagie
16 years ago
Mavis, hang in there. I know it is rough, and the grief just hits in a wave, a crushing wave, at odd moments. I was cooking at the stove the other night and it just hit me. I MISS MY MOM!! I broke down and weeped right there in the kitchen. As time goes by the episodes are a little less, and last for shorter periods, but I believe they will never go away completely. I don't feel strong either. Not a bit. It seems like others take loss so much easier. Are they stronger? More caloused? Or just hide it better? I don't know.

Hope you have a better week coming up Mavis and Doc.

Take care,

Duane
mav63_2007
Original Author
16 years ago
Thank you all for taking time to write to me. Today I feel a bit better, maybe because I am going to my grandson's 3rd birthday party.
Thank you for your prayers, I give mine for you.

Mavis
carolswfl_2007
16 years ago
Mavis, Unfortunately our healing process is a slow one with setbacks. Being alone magnifies the reality of what has happened to us. I try to keep busy and keep in touch with others who are alone. We need someone who understands what we are going through and it's good that you come here and talk. I hope that you enjoyed the BD party and being with family. Take care. Carol
alisande
16 years ago
Grief follows an irregular path, you might say. It certainly isn't predictable. I won't urge you not to cry, because I think tears are healing. We need them. But try to keep in mind that this especially difficult period will pass. It may come back, but if it does, try to accept it as part of the process.

Remember that only those who love get to grieve.

Susan

Sign Up to Comment

Related Stories

LIFE So You're Moving In Together: 3 Things to Do First

By Apartment 46 for the Home

Before you pick a new place with your honey, plan and prepare to make the experience sweet

DECORATING GUIDES Design Dilemma: How Do I Get a 5th Avenue Style?

The Decor Demon Comes to the Rescue in the Questions Board

DECORATING GUIDES Say 'I Do' to Beautiful Wedding Memory Displays

By Charmean Neithart Interiors

You'll love and cherish these creative vignettes, artwork and more that keep the happiness of your special day at hand

LIFE The Polite House: Do I Have to Display Decor Given to Me as a Gift?

Etiquette columnist Lizzie Post tackles the challenge of accepting and displaying home decor gifts from frequent visitors

REMODELING GUIDES Design Dilemma: How Do I Modernize My Cedar Walls?

8 Ways to Give Wood Walls a More Contemporary Look

MORE ROOMS Living Rooms My Grandmother Would Love (But I Do, Too)

FEEL-GOOD HOME The Well-Stocked Minimalist

By Laura Gaskill

The trick is to have just enough of the right stuff at home — no more, no less. Here’s how to do it

LIFE 10 Ways to Boost Creativity by Doing Less

By Laura Gaskill

You heard right. Sometimes the best way to refill your creative well is by taking a step back

MAN SPACES Why Men Really Do Need a Cave

By Mitchell Parker

Don't dismiss cars, bars and the kegerator — a man space of some kind is important for emotional well-being at home

PETS So You're Thinking About Getting a Dog

By Alison Hodgson

Prepare yourself for the realities of training, cost and the impact that lovable pooch might have on your house

Sponsored

AAE Bathroom Remodeler

Franklin County's Custom Kitchen & Bath Designs for Everyday Living