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I Lost My Mother Today

Posted by saliesas (My Page) on
Wed, Jun 4, 08 at 22:03

I lost my mother today and I don't know what to do. She was 46 years old. Isn't that too young? I don't know. She had a viral heart disease called cardimyopathy and she held on for so long. Initially the doctor told us she had 6 months and she lasted almost 7 years. That is remarkable, right? Still, and this may be selfish of me, I don't think it was long enough. I am not ready to live the rest of my life without being able to call my mother for advice. To call her just to chat. She was my very best friend. What do I do now?

She passed away at home, alone. My little sister, who is 14, came home from school and found her. She tried CPR but she was gone. When I arrived at the house my father was laying on the floor with her saying that if he could just warm her up it would be alright. It took me 15 minutes to get him off of the floor.

We haven't told my daughter, who is 5, or my little brother, who is 6, yet. It is so hard knowing that my little brother is here playing at my house and has no idea his mommy died.

I have been so terrified of getting this call for the last 7 years. Now it is reality.

I lost my mother today and I don't know what to do.


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: I Lost My Mother Today

Saliesas,
I am sorry about the loss of your Mom - I lost my Mother last November - and I know how it hurts. Please find comfort in knowing your Mother is in a loving place and will always be with you.


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RE: I Lost My Mother Today

I'm so sorry.

Just for right now, get someone to help;
you're doing well by everyone else, being there for them, helping them, but you can't do everything.

Can you enlist a husband or aunts/uncles/etc?

Breathe in, breathe out, take one step at a time.


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RE: I Lost My Mother Today

Salie, I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. It hurts terribly, I know. And yes, that is too young for all of you to have to experience this grief.

We just do what has to be done and little by little are able to think about the good memories. That's what keeps them alive in our hearts.
Peace to you all,
Jan


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RE: I Lost My Mother Today

I'm so sorry. It sound like your Dad is in disbelief. Can you call a hospice and ask them for some grief counseling and support ideas? They may be able to help steer you in the right direction to get your family back in control. Look in the yellow pages under hospice, or call a hospital that offers a hospice service.

Even though (I assume) your mom wasn't on hospice, they are very knowledgeable on grief and what to do,not only for the adults, but for the kids too.


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RE: I Lost My Mother Today

I feel very sad for you.
It's really sad that your sister and brother are so young.
Maybe when your ready, maybe you could make a memory book.
All of you could get together and talk about her, and
what she liked to do, things she's said, places you've
been. Write down her special meat loaf recipe. Stories
of how she and your father met.
I think it would mean alot to you, I'm sure your brother will appericate it.


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RE: I Lost My Mother Today

I am sorry for your loss. It is always to soon. You are in my prayers. The loss I know is unbearalbe. Just remember one moment at a time, that is all you have to do.


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RE: I Lost My Mother Today

Oh Sweetheart of course you don't know what to do. You are in shock. It will take awhile but you will get used to her being gone. My mom died 4 years ago at age 76..and it was too young in my opinion..in truth I would have never been ready to lose her.

It's strange..but Dr Laura always says you have two chances for the mother-daughter realtionship...I have an only child and she and I have grown so much closer since my Mom died..It's like I now know how she will feel when I am gone and I always give her the love and support that she needs..

You do have your kids and being a good mother and loving them is honoring your mother and how she loved you. In that way she will live on. This is not easy. Be kind and cry and let your kids see you cry as well. We must cry and get it out. I don't cry nearly as much now..but those first few years I cried lots.

Hugs Sweetie.


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RE: I Lost My Mother Today

So sorry. It sounds awful for all of you. You're already doing the right things. There's nothing more you can do, except get through each day until the pain starts to ease.


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RE: I Lost My Mother Today

i m so very sorry for you dear...you know one fine day,same thing happened with me and u know what i got a call that my parents have died in an accident..i was not at all prepared and had met them a couple of hours before...this happened on 27th april '08...my younger brother was driving the car ...he is just 24,i m 27 and my mom dad were in their early 50's...today i cant even accept and believe that they r gone..i just keep calling them to talk and all but no body picks call...i keep calling them try to talk to them..it pains so much and i always keep crying....i m not able to believe they r gone and i dont have a family to go to..me n my brother were so dependent on them...I know my dear it is going to be very difficult,it hurts a lot ..mom is a mom then...
but try to involve yourself in your family members love them u have DAD...support him emotionally...try to cherish the good moments u have shared together i know its difficuly,for me too it is...
i have a BIG blank in my life ...since that say i have sleepless nights and haunting mornings telling me something is missing...
but I hope God gives us strenght to carry on...hugs my dear...


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RE: I Lost My Mother Today

I'm so sorry for your loss i lost my Mother 5 months ago and just like all of these kind people are telling you, one day at a time that's what I do. Talk to people who get it. i know how hard this is, it really stinks to say it nicely. I still cry everyday my eyes are so swollen from crying for so long, but it is better to get it out. God bless you.


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