I grew up and lived many years in a town just 45 minutes from where I am. I am 55 years old. In my thirties and 40's there were 11 of us who used to hang around together; we were very close. And I stayed close to them. Three years ago they started dying. Some were in their 40's, some older, no one over 59. Cancer, heart attacks, etc. Two years back my best friend ever, Ann, and I attended the funeral of the last of our gang except for the two of us. He died 4 months after being diagnosed with cancer. Little did we know that just seven months later Ann would also die. Went to ER with severe stomach pains, they found she was full of cancer (she also had MS) and she never came home. All the counseling in the world isn't going to help. There is no reason for me to go to my hometown anymore because there is no one there now. I have no blood family except a sister who lives with me. I keep thinking that those people KNEW me when. They knew a part of me that no one else does. We were like family. But you don't get over that much death. I have a good job, friends that can never be what those people were to me, and a good life. But I will always be sad and I think that is just the way it has to be. Sometimes you just take the sadness and accept it and live the best you can.