skip to main content

Donnakt - How are you doing?

18 years ago

Hi Donnakt,

Just thinking of you and wondering how things are going for you. I hope each day has gotten better for you.

Take care and let me know how you are doing...

Mel03

Comments (4)

donnakt_gw
18 years ago
Hi, I think I am a real wimp at this being alone..I am exsisting, because I have too. My son and family were here for the weekend..I didn't know how hard it would be when they left and I am sitting here alone again.

Tell me how are you getting along..I need to know how you get up each day and go on with your life.

Hugs,
Donna
Ina Plassa_travis
18 years ago
well- it's our life(s) and part of it's a sacred duty to the memories- there are days where the only thing that gets me up is the knowledge that if I don't, there will be one less person in the world who remembers my father fondly.

some days, it takes the knowledge that people need me- the sweet little Scotsman who pumps my gas would miss me, and so on...

but I only need to resort to such lame pep talks on the lowest of days...fact is that I was alone enough of my life to have already learned how and why my own life is worth living in the absence of any other reason.

it's not the getting up that bugs me, though- it's the descent into evening, when the day's activities are wound down, and there's no poppa to pester me about when he's going to get morning glories that actually flower (on a 2 acre property, there's about a square yard that gets full sun)

but I look on the tears as one of the ways I honour him- he was also an emotional mush just like me, the ONLY father I know who wept so openly and honestly at things.

my mother and I are the only ones to mourn- the cousins are too close to their own deaths, my brother is too busy gloating...and the rest, well, they have distractions aplenty.

so I must survive, musn't I? for his sake?
Related Discussions
When and how do you harvest echinacea- how do you prepare roots?
Q
Comments (1)
Here is an easy to understand guide for echinacea http://www.gardenguides.com/articles/coneflower.htm I really recommend you cut the root up before drying... you will need a hacksaw to cut it up when dried! :o) for contraindications http://www.herbmed.org/Herbs/Herb6.htm I know it stops working after like 8 days, so really short term is all that is needed.
...See More
When do you plant out and how do you do it?
Q
Comments (5)
I am a slave to the weather channel. We have it on first thing in the morning, and I always look at the weekly outlook- highs & lows. Once the temps start staying above 40 or so at night, I start the plant-out (this is a personal thing, as I see that recluse uses 30. I don't have enough info to know which ones are hardy enough to take the lower temps, so I just use 40+) If the temps dip after that, I'll toss a cloche over them for the night. I also like to use the 15-day forecast over at accuweather.com, but obviously if the weatherman can't get it right for 2-days out, it's unlikely that they really know the 15-day outlook. But I'm only looking at the temps, so knowing that the earth's orbit is relatively stable (wink), I can rest assured that they may at least have THAT part pretty close. Planting out: It depends how thickly I sowed them. Unlike recluse, I "sprinkle and go" with many many containers. This might mean entirely too many seeds in a container, but I've found that it makes for a good show when planted out HOS. If I got super-good germination and a totally green container because I sowed WAY thick, I'll do WAY small HOSs. Some of my annuals like Marigolds and Zinnias I don't do HOS, but most things I do. They can duke it out after they're in the ground. HOW you plant out is very much relative to how detail-oriented you are. If you're very specific about how you do things, it may throw your whole world into an uproar to try and do a plunk 'n run technique. Of course, depending on how many containers you got out there, you may find yourself plunking, running, and drinking heavily due to the stress of HAVING to do it at some point ;)
...See More
How far apart do you space them? How big do you let...
Q
Comments (1)
Well..if you trim the huge ones they will be shrubbyier.If were planted close I imagine could grow as hedge if that was an a idea.They all grow a lil different and also depends on the soil.the richer& moisture the better it is. I don't have any grown together,but have thought about it.I have a few stand alones,but most are like a backbone stuck here& here& there.I had one grow 10 ft this year....and next year I'll keep that one shrubby.The 1st yr hubby "accidently" topped it in half when it was just reaching 2 ft.I actually liked the way it grew that way better.It had alot more flowers,but we were dryer this year also.
...See More
How often do you grocery shop? How many places do you go?
Q
Comments (29)
I shop at multiple stores. Pay day is every other Friday so I that is when I go to Wal-Mart or Smith's (Kroger owned). Every 2 weeks we also get coffee beans at the little mom and pop shop. We go to Sprouts every 2 weeks as their ads overlap on Wednesdays. This is actually getting less frequent as they have not put the bulk things on sale that I want the most as frequently (steel cut oats and short grain brown rice). The bread outlet is a once a month trip. Other stores such as Keller's (for meat), Trader Joe's, the international markets, Vitamin Cottage (for other bulk items), I alternate months. Some things I get through Amazon's subscribe and save and that can vary in frequency. Eggs are mostly from my hens and many of our vegetables come from our garden. Some of the variety in shopping is about the money savings but it is more along the lines of trying to match the quality to a certain price point and meeting my needs of acquiring a diversity of ingredients. Arborio rice at TJ's, quality meat at Keller's, red lentils in bulk at Vitamin Cottage, etc. Part of it is me trying to maintain a well stocked pantry because my moods are fickle and if the pantry has a variety of things, I can cook according to my mood. Pre-planned menus never, ever work for me.
...See More
mel03
Original Author
18 years ago
Donnakt....
You are not a wimp at being alone. It takes time to make that big adjustment. I went to my last "Good Grief" session a little over a week ago. That was hard...I felt that was a "lifeline"..somewhere to let my grief out without being judged. The sessions helped me a lot...it was good to hear other people experiencing the same symptoms, feelings, etc that I am. Some days I feel almost "normal" and then others, like day, I'm weepy. It was just a year ago that my husband was diagnosed with cancer so I think that has triggered this sadness. I know it will pass with time but it is very difficult. One individual in the sessions was so strong...never seem to cry or express loneliness until the last session, then she lost it. She let all her fears and loneliness out. She felt she had to be strong around everyone but as the coordinator told..."That grief has to come out, let it!"
As to how I get up each day, I just do it. I have pets to feed, plants to water, mundane little things that give me a purpose. I know my husband is looking over me...and that gives me a feeling of peace. He was a good-hearted man and I know in my heart he is there for me. His sense of humor got us through some difficult days and I try to remember that and find something to make me smile, laugh, everyday..even if it's a comic strip in the paper.
The hardest thing for me is finding a "repairman" to do all the repairs around the house that hubby used to do. Sometimes it's overwhelming but life goes on..one step at a time. Remember life is like the weather..you have sunny days and there are stormy days.
Take care and may you find comfort in knowing others care and are concerned about you.
Do you mind if I e-mail you directly instead of posting here?

Mel03
donnakt_gw
18 years ago
I don't mind if you e-mail me..

Hugs,
DonnaKT

Sign Up to Comment

0

Sponsored

Winks Remodeling & Handyman Services

1 Review

Custom Craftsmanship & Construction Solutions in Franklin County