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tjmondragon

I cant believe its almost been a year

tjmondragon
17 years ago

Hello everyone, just here to get things off my chest. you guys always make me feel better.. one year ago today was the last time i held leonard in my arms, That was the day I left to visit my grandma in michigan.I still say I should have stayed home, I miss him so much everyday still. The 2nd of july was the last time I talked to him and said I love you, And then comes the 3rd the worst day of my life.I dont know what that day is going to be like. The 3rd is also my nephews birthday if anyone remembers me mentioning it, and I dont want that day to stink for him he already says he dont want to do anything and never wants to celebrate it again, But I know leonard would not want him to have a crapy birthday. But then again I dont know how I can make it good I dont even want to get out of bed that day I can already feel it. I still wish everyday that I could just be with him and I still ask him everynight to take me with him. How does everyone make it past the 1 year and the 2 year and so on? Fathers day was so hard I didnt think I could make it thru but I did . I went and visited my father in law and I know that really made his day and he was so happy to see the kids, But my son was so sad that day he just wanted to see daddy. My parents are going out of town that week and want to take the kids I dont want to let them go I will always have that fear of letting them go somewhere without me and I dont want to go.I dont know what to do. Should we be together that day or shold I let them go. Why does life have to be so hard we never did anything to deserve this. Im sorry to always cry to everyone but you help me so much. Thanks Tracy

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