I took the dive and transplanted it outside my bedroom window. Before it was in a 14 X 14 section near the front door. The sidewalk curves around this section. Previous owners planted a Korena spice viburnum, burning bush, sandcherry and var. weigela not too mention the 6 stella daylillies. Yes this was all in a 14 X 14 section up again the house. The Korean spice was used as a border shrub! That is the most valuable plant so I figure put it somewhere it can live for 20 more years vs. keeping it 3' X 3'. It was a son of gun to transplant. In hindsight I should have not cut one of the thicker roots, as I was just trying to keep a symmetrical rootball. 2 days have past and it looks fine, though some of the younger stems look a little limp. Guess we'll find out if its going to make it by end of July and then if it buds out next spring I'm in business.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how difficult it is to lose a child. I can understand your sense of loss though, as I just lost my beautiful mother and friend 5 months ago at the age of 50 to a horrible auto-immune disease. At times I feel like I can get through my loss just fine and I am still the same person, then other times the loss hits me like a ton of bricks. Sad to say but I know we will be dealing with our feelings of grief for the rest of our earthly lives. If theres one thing I learned from the passing of my mom, it's that each day is a gift from God. None of us are gauranteed a tomorrow, and we need to live in the moment and live for each day. Make your life and your actions count, and be a person your son would be proud of. I know it's probably hard for you to think about the future without your son, because it's so hard for me to think about my future without my mom. I cannot imagine not having her at my wedding, seeing me have children and all the other milestones I have before me. All I know is this- take things one day at a time. One day you will be reunited with your son. He is not gone forever, just as you will not be in this earthly life forever, so the pain and sorrow can only last so long. I know he has passed much sooner than he should have, but some day we will be with our loved ones in paradise. Until then, treasure your time here with your other son's and loved ones because as we have learned, our world can turn upside down in a heartbeat, and things rarely turn out the way you thought they would. Your son knew you loved him, and he would want you to be happy. Cry when you need to and remember him always, but always keep in mind that you WILL see him again. Right now he is in heaven with my mom and they are both thankful to be in a perfect place where they can avoid misery and grief like we are dealing with now. Hang in there, and remember you are not alone. You are here for a reason and make the most of your time on earth so you can fill your son in on everything you did here when you see him in heaven someday. That's what I want to do with my mom too. Take care, Lisa

Kimmyla: I was once in your daughter's shoes. Parent's divorced when I was 3, had a horrible relationship with my dad until I was 16, dad used to work a lot, not show up to get me when he said he would etc... and Mom's house had 1 of her 4 bfs after dad in it.. so let's just say I was a pretty confused little girl. I was doing the EXACT thing you say your daughter was doing... She probably really doesn't like her father right now, understandably. I was wondering though, if there is any close family you have there?... possibly an uncle or a good friend's husband.. right now what she needs is some positive influence from a male figure who can provide that for her...providing you can explain the situatioon before hand and try not to let her know it is some kind of set-up. If you let her get too far she will find it in boys and follow their lead... whatever that may be. She needs to understand that the feelings she has about her father are okay, and she needs someone to express those to... and no offence it may not be you. Couselllors would be good, but if she is anything like I was I didn't see a point in talking to anyone I didn't know, I also thought I knew it all at age 12 haha. Anyway, you must be extremely actively involved right now and watching what shes doing and who she hangs around with as friends. She is seeking acceptance and love, she knows you love her and you are there but she probably has this empty hole emotionally she will try to fill. Whether it be friends, or a bf. It's not your love that will fix this problem right away as complicated as that sounds. Taking things from her will only push her farther away from you right now,but she obviously needs rules... You have to find a way to build her self confidence/self-esteem. I'm not too sure why but it also sounds as though her self confidence is low. I'm not sure where you live, but there is thing online called the DOVE campaign... And the website gives excellent ideas for things to do and say to young girls and how to build their self-esteem. (I have been doing the exercises with my step-daughter). If she has the self-confidence, self-esteem and family support she will take these with her in the situations she finds herself in.. such as when someone is trying to take advantage of her, or pressure her into doing something she shouldn't be..She needs the confidence to say no, I don't care what Jane wants me to do, I don't have to because I don't want to. Even girl friends at school. Don't give up on her, and I know it may be exhausting and a never ending process, but my mom didn't and I pulled through the other side. It was a bumpy road, and some of the things she did or said I hated her in the moment... But I hope you find the strength to be her rock right now. She needs a hobby again to keep her occupied, and keep her remembering that she is good at something.. this too will build her self-esteem. I'm not sure on what terms you are with your ex-h but I would seriously call him and tell him what his absence is doing to her. She may be mad at him for various reasons, and she may HATE his guts for putting you through this, but he still has a daughter approaching her teens and she needs him. He needs to know this... If he chooses not to contact etc then thats a different story, but for him to just leave you with all this and abandon his daughter is extremely irresponsible of him. I have a lot of other really uncharming things to say about it but I will keep my mouth shut. He needs to know what is going on, and the reprocussions which will be if she continues down this path. He is her father, he is 50% responsible for her and he should NEVER let some woman get in the middle of that. If he doesn't want to help her and help you out with her then so be it. For now though, be strong because this road is going to get a lot bumpier. Another thing, when I was younger I was really close to an older female cousin of mine (4 yrs diff) and I would confide in her about everything I never told my mom. She would tell my mom behind my back things so she was in the loop... and could help me or guide me. She wouldn't tell mom everything but when it was really bad, or to do with my safety she would. Later, I found all this out and I was grateful that she almost saved my life a few times. Stay strong!! Sorry it is so long, it really hit home for me. My thoughts and prayers are with you!

PH of the water? Manganese? # of bathrooms? SFR of the plumbing? Any water hogging appliances like a Jacuzzi or monster shower? Is the softener plumbed to soften the whole house or just the water heater?