My Darling Husband is gone

17 years ago

I know some of you were praying, along with me and our family, on my husband's behalf, and we thank you SO MUCH! Gary passed away, from the deadly disease called pancreatic cancer, last Tuesday night at 11:51 pm. This is the most HORRIBLE death imaginable!!!!

We are taking it one day at a time, but I still call out to him and think of him constantly. I miss him so much - it's all the little things he did for my stepson and me, all the things we did together - WOW, this is tough!

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Comments (9)

popi_gw
17 years ago
Kay

No more suffering for him.

Tough time for you, you are right to take each day as it comes.

All the best to your and your stepson.

Popi
mav63_2007
17 years ago
Kay,
I am SO sorry, I prayed SO hard for him. I suffered with my darling through pancreatic cancer and it is horrible. I am crying for you, I don't know what else to do. I will keep you in my prayers.
With love and hugs,
Mavis
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Ann, I am so sorry for your loss. My husband died Nov.24, 07 after taking 2 chemo treatments for lung cancer. He was ill with lung disease for 2 years before that. Cancer is a very bad thing and such a THIEF. How long were you married? How wonderful that your dear one was your soul mate and friend. So many people do not ever have that. You must have so many beautiful memories. Bring them close to you when you can. I found that it has helped me when the pain of not having my husband near me threatened to overwhelm me. I was numb for quite some time after he died. Went through the motions of doing what I needed to do. Lots of business--financial, hospital bills, phone calls, people to thank. Almost more than I thought I could do. But it needed to be done. Do you have children? Close friends you can talk to? I did and it does help. You can always come here too. Sometimes medication is helpful to get you through the roughest time, just as is grief counselling. My faith was my foundation. Something a friend told me was, that now I must take care of myself and must re-invent myself. I think that is the truth. Not something we want to do. But we can. Your husband would want you to honor him by continuing your life in the best way possible. That really shows how much you loved each other, IMHO. Be Brave. Please come back here often. I will be keeping good thoughts for you and yours. Jan
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Demon Based on what you've said here, I think you've made the right decision. It concerns me that his reaction is to blame the child and focus on how it affects 'him'. Classic abuser behavior. I'm even a little concerned that his reaction will change from cooperative to hostile when he realizes that tactic won't work. If I were you, I'd set up a strong support system. I have a feeling you are going to need it. I also agree with silver, it's not a waste of time to learn such a valuable lesson. When I left my ex at 29, I spent years feeling sorry for myself because I wasted my 20's in a crappy situation. But, the worse part wasn't the time I wasted, it was that my kids were in that crappy situation for 7 years and you can thank your lucky stars you figured it out in less than a year. Your daughter is young and you can spend some time in counseling and might even think about working on your parenting skills too. Before, you said you were lax in discipline, so now might be a good time to shift your focus on improving things in your life. When I was a single parent, I was also too lax and inconsistent. It's so easy to parent out of guilt too. My kids were pre-teens when I began to force myself to be consistent and push the guilt to the back of my head and it's been tough. I still struggle with guilt because they know how to make me feel guilty. Good luck.
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alisande
17 years ago
Kay, how good of you to thank us at this time. By all means talk to your husband all you like. Write to him if that feels good. And be open to whatever signs he may be able to give you.

You have our sympathy.

Susan
carolswfl_2007
17 years ago
Kay, My husband was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer 5 days before he was to retire. He was 62. It came out of no where. He passed 9 1/2 months later. I can relate to all that you and yours have been through. Please accept my heartfelt prayers and thoughts. (((HUGS))) Carol
kayjones
Original Author
17 years ago
Carol, I am so sorry that you had to lose your husband to this horrific disease. You are right - it is a killer in the night - doesn't present itself until it is ready to kill.

Mavis, you and I have already chatted, and again - I am so terribly sorry that you lost your husband to this greedy cancer.

Instead of worrying about global warming, and it's effects on humanity a thousand years from now, how come they don't concentrate on saving PEOPLE NOW?!

I think priorities are a bit mixed up!
kayjones
Original Author
16 years ago
Carol, email me if you can find time - How Are you?
mav63_2007
16 years ago
Carol,I want to add my condolences. How are you doing? I know you feel like your heart has been ripped right out of you.Kay calls it a greedy cancer, it sure is. My husband died of pancreatic cancer at 62, 6 1/2 months ago, I had him for 18 months after his diagnosis but he suffered much.We are here if need to talk to us, it helps when someone else knows what you are going through.

Kay, How are you doing? I pray for everyone on this forum for healing of our broken hearts and for the pain to ease.

God Bless, Mavis (ganna@optonline.net)
kayjones
Original Author
16 years ago
Mavis, thank you for asking about us. Yesterday was a 'boo-hoo' day, wrought with frustrations. SO FAR, today is going well. I just take it as it comes and deal with it, sometimes dealing ok and most times, not. I just pray a lot and keep as busy as I can. Hugs to you. HOW ARE YOU?
carolswfl_2007
16 years ago
Mavis, I thank you for asking about me and caring. I sent you an e-mail.
Kay, I thank you also for asking and caring about me and I sent you an e-mail.
Remember, we are never alone. I send my thoughts and prayers to all who are grieving. God Bless, Carol

My Darling Husband is gone

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popi_gw

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