My dad is terminally ill, what can I do?
hwings
18 years ago
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lmb_ckb
18 years agojlj48
18 years agoRelated Discussions
Help for my Mom dealing with Dad's terminal cancer
Comments (22)Hi, Kay. Yes, she is going through all of the paperwork, and she is getting a bit overwhelmed. My dad left everything to her, and my sister-in-law, who is an accountant, is the executor of the will. She is doing most of the work, but they are waiting on the official death certificate before the house can be put in my mom's name. She can't sell until that is done. She also has to get rid of the car, since she doesn't drive, but one of my brothers needs a trade-in, and he is going to buy the car from her ( at a fair market price, of course). My dad did have his affairs in order, and all of the investments were in my mom's name anyhow, so she doesn't have too much to do. Right now she is slowly going through the house getting rid of things she won't need in an apartment. They lived in the same place for 44 years, so it's quite a big job, although in recent years they did begin to clear out a lot of junk. The biggest job is already done. My dad was into model trains, and had a huge set-up in two rooms in the basement. He had literally hundreds of cars, plus little villages, etc. He kept all of the boxes, but it still took us the better part of a week to dismantle the whole thing. The trains are going to be divided up between my brothers, and my mom didn't have to do a thing. We have been very fortunate that there have been absolutely NO arguements over money or disposing of posessions. I have heard so many stories about how a death in the family can bring out the absolute worst in people, but this is not the case for us. All of my brothers and I just want our mom to have as smooth a move as possible, and to end up with as much money as she can get. She is anxious to sell, she finds there are just too many memories in the house, and she wants a fresh start. Hopefully, she can be settled in her new place before the winter weather begins....See MoreMiss my dad... not doing as well as I thought...
Comments (2)My dad died May 2nd of last year. He was just 8 days short of his 96th birthday. Couple of weeks before he told me to look at him & said I don't want you to mourn me but it's OK to "miss me" Such comforting words that I often think about. I lost my hubby when he was 48 so that was so difficult as he was my best friend & so young. Your age may make it harder & your dad's age or sudden passing but all you felt is not unusual at all. You can see someone from behind walking & think, oh, there he is & then realize it can't be & you may flush in embarrassment. Couple of songs at church make me kind of teary & if at end of service I just say, oh, that song reminds me of my dad(or hubby) can hear it time & again & OK but then suddenly it gets to you. This will happen from time to time & best to just tell the person, "you remind me so much of my dad or that was my dad's name" the person will understand. It will get better with time your loss is very fresh & will be several months before you feel like you are even back in the world. I said it was like being thrown on a stage & told you had to go through this awful play & all you want is out of there & to go crawl in bed! I was 42 when he died at work. Nothing is real I think that is how most people feel at 1st. If your dad had a long illness then you might have an easier time as you have already been grieving. That's why my dad's was easier to take & his advanced age. I'm sure others will come on so keep checking back. It's a day by day thing & try to live as normally as you can. Lunch with a friends, movie with someone etc. Just sit & watch people shop. Better to get out than to hibernate that can get dangerous for your health as you quit eating, social engagements etc. Don't let that happen. Life does go on & it is up to you to pull yourself along & get to point where things are better & finally enjoyable. Doesn't mean you forget them. Your dad would want you to be happy!!...See MoreHow do I help my dad?
Comments (2)Hi Mary, My parents were married 36 years and my mom died unexpectedly with no warning at all. While it was unbelieveably hard for me, I remember being almost afraid in the first few weeks to go to my dads home because his grief was so painful to witness. My heart goes out to you and if I have even one crumb of worthy help to offer it would be to find out, in talks with your dad, what his belief of the future is with regards to your mom. Does he have any spiritual hope or wish that he holds to heart? If so, it can make such a difference in how you view the present. A difference between night and day, truly. I would love to speak more with you, yet don't want to offend any who have no spiritual leaning or belief. If you wish, please email me at rottenlivia@yahoo.com I'm not rotten, as my email claims. Just love ancient history and Livia, wife of Augustus Caesar, was rotten. Kim...See MoreIt's my birthday and I'll do what I wanna, right?
Comments (29)Glenda you eat out every day as I recall. Do it YOUR way good Leo girl. You want what you want how you want it and why not? Cook on. It sounds good to me. I personally don't like to eat out so I for sure see why you want to eat in this one time on your Birthday so you can cook for somebody else as well as yourself and eat exactly what you want. Happy Birthday....See Moredebiesta
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