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Son 's loss felt DEEPLY

19 years ago

My son left this world March 25th,after 14 months decline in health...even tho disabled,he made it 23 1/2 yrs. w. no hospital stays.I miss him more than I could ever convey~ my life will never be the same~ how long before the raw pain lessens?

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Comments (12)

killinsnakes
19 years ago
I am very sorry for your loss of your son. I too have a disabled son who is 24. I worry a lot as I get a little older about him and his health. I am very sorry for you, and your are not alone. I know it doesn't fix this, but I hope it helps a tiny bit to know that someone understands and cares.
StarChilde
Original Author
19 years ago
thx. for the reply.Yes,I wondered how I'd keep being able to take care of him, as my health was not as good as it was when I was younger. Bren was never hospitalized for 23 1/2 yrs.,then 8 times in a yr., altho some due to dr. mistakes.
Yes, it is a whole new feeling...not having my son about..as I took care of him the whole time, except for when he was in the hospital.
Treasure every day, make memories to be enjoyed. God bless.
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Vickey__MN
19 years ago
I'm so sorry for your loss. THough I've never lost a child, my dear friend lost her then 14 year old in a snowmobile accident 6 years ago. She still misses him painfully. Time for the wound to heal differs by the person.

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rune42586
19 years ago
My heart cries tears for you. I am so very sorry over the loss of your son. I wish I was there so I could just hug you and comfort you. I know the pain and anguish that you are feeling right now because I lost my only child "AJ" in January of 2002. He was only 15. Every person's journey of grief is different. Personally, the second year was worse for me because I finally had to face reality and that he was never going to come home again. The first year, I was in a fog of disbelief. My grief has softened but I still have bad days, more than good. I know that I will never get over losing him because when you lose a child the sorrow remains forever. I am praying for you.
sudiepav
19 years ago
I know how sad you must be feeling. We lost our oldest son at 36 and our oldest grandchild age 6 nearly two years ago. I agree that this second year has been awful, because the loss is so real, and we are keenly aware that we will never see them again. The pain is just terrible. Memories cause me to tear up once or more each day. We don't know which we miss more - our beautiful son who had everything to live for or that precious granddaughter who even at 6 was precocious, friendly, loving and just beautiful, the image of her daddy. The pain isn't nearly as sharp as it was at the beginning, but the void that remains is almost worse. I have talked to parents who lost children 10, 15, 30 years ago, and nothing ever makes the pain go away. You learn to live with it and deal with it, though. You are in my prayers.
mrsmarv
19 years ago
I am so sorry for the loss of your son. I haven't lost a child, but I feel your sadness. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
EJP773
19 years ago
Starchilde, you have my heartfelt sympathy. It has been 5 weeks today since my 30yr old son died from cancer and the pain feels unbearable, worse with each day. You have the added loss of a child who needed you in many more ways because of his disability and you must be at a loss after so many years of caring for him. My son was married and a father and hadn't lived at home for 10 years but he and his brother were my life and the emptiness is overwhelming. The loving people here have all opened their hearts to me and showed me that we do go on with our lives but we have to live with a new reality and make the best of it somehow. Right now it is hard to believe that it will ever get easier but this is a good place to come when you need help.
Right now it is just a case of waking up each day and getting through it. I wish you all the best, Elspeth
lulie___wayne
19 years ago
It's been 7 years for us without our daughter, Christin. Some days are much better than others. Some days it is like she just left us today. I think when a parent loses her/his child, the pain and emptiness remain in varying degrees throughout the rest of her/his life. We learn to live with the pain just as someone who is horribly disabled learns to live with their diability.
We each have our crosses to bear and we all have to find a way to survive them in the best way that we can. Different people get satisfaction and purpose for the rest of their lives in different ways. We just all have to find our own unique way to survive this.
Lu

Here is a link that might be useful: Christin Cosby Memorial Web Site
trinitytx
19 years ago
star, i am so sorry for the loss of your son.
bless you.
kimlynette
18 years ago
Dear one,
I do have some understanding. I lost my only daughter about 10 months ago, after she was in the hospital for 4 months. My heart goes to you. I ache with you. Please remember...we, you, those of us who are traveling this road, are not alone. We are not alone. You are not alone. Diana was/is my daughter's name. What is your son's name? I love her as much today as ever and that is actually a comfort. I tell her how much I love her, and you may want to do the same. You asked about the raw pain. It is not as unrelenting as it was in the beginnng, but it does come for me, about once a week and it is pretty bad. I have told everyone, that I have given myself a year to do, be, think, speak and feel anything I want, anytime I want, without fear of recriminations or rebuke. If I want to renew my option after that...I will.
With love, Kim
StarChilde
Original Author
18 years ago
I want to thank everyone for the blessings in replies to my first post.I had not been able to get on, due to hard drive & computer probs.It's been 7 wks. since Brendan's angel date, & it has been hard.I have been going thru boxes to find pictures, to make a memorial video tribute for his memorial service on June 4th. I miss him so much that sometimes it hurts to breathe.His little sister who is 3 1/2 yrs. keeps saying he is coming back,& saving food for him, like saving a danish for brother.I have been in contact with a parent in the area who lost her son, & talking to someone who knows the feeling helps some.God bless all~ will write more individual replies later~
gina_in_fl
18 years ago
Time heals wounds. My son died 12-01-92, shortly after his high school graduation. I see beautiful sunsets on his birthday.. then realize the date, have good things happen to me on 12/01 and then realize the date,.... he's still with me.

He was taken suddenly, and with hate in my heart for the one that did it, but Erik is still with me.

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